Last night was by far the hardest night of my life. We were expecting baby Luca Messiah Howard on January 18, 2025. Last night, Hannah went into labor. My daughter's car broke down last week, so the girls kept my car, and yesterday I went to work like any other day. I have been working up to 60 hours a week in an attempt to prepare for Christmas and then the birth of my second grandson. The girls had my car and called me to tell me Hannah's water had broken. I told them to get her to Baylor immediately! I was nervously excited. I began trying to figure out a way to get a car seat. I sat down at my desk; things were hectic as I was in the middle of sending one of my patients to the ER and in my heart and mind trying to pull it together for the birth of my grandbaby. Then I got the call: Luca didn't have a heartbeat. I was in disbelief. The nurse at the L&D got on the phone and kept saying, "I'm so sorry..." but my mind was blank, my heart was racing, my hands were shaking, the room started closing in, and I only knew I had to get from Granbury to Ft. Worth. I booked an Uber. The whole way there, I was praying so hard, but another ultrasound confirmed that my grandson had not survived, and not only that, she had to birth him. How do you coach a mother that has lost her child on how to bring her baby into the world knowing he had not survived? A young mother, her first baby. Luca was born a few hours ago at 3:42 am on 12/3/2024. This day we will remember forever, and it's not over yet; we still have to figure out a way to bury him. This is not the Christmas we were expecting, and I don't even know where to begin. If you could please find it in your heart to help us bury this precious baby taken way too soon, please, please do.

Jourden

I’m not very sure how to put into words how these past couple days have been for me here lately. I ended up going to the hospital a couple days ago thinking I was going to be having baby Luca early and devastatingly finding out that he didn’t have a heartbeat and was already sent to heaven. They ended up sending me into labor at 33 weeks and thankfully everything went smoothly as much as it could go. The amount of pain and hurt I feel cannot be put into words with this experience I’ve felt, I was expecting Luca to come home early only to find out that He won’t be coming home to me and my family at all. This Christmas was not what I was expecting or wanted in the slightest. I’m making this post only because at this point it’s still not over for Luca yet. I’ve decided a proper burial for him is the only thing that him and I both need at this point. If you could find it in your heart to help me and my family put Luca to rest the right way I would appreciate it. We have set up a go fund me to start preparing for a funeral and proper burial for him our goal is 10k right now. For forever I will be changed and feel different about the world but right now I just want to put my baby to rest. If you could find it in your heart or time please donate as much as possible.

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Hannah