Three weeks ago I came to the hospital for MRI tests. I needed fusion of my spine in multiple spots. First lumbar surgery was 1/16 and next one was 1/25. My final (hopefully) surgery is tomorrow on my cervical spine. They are performing this from the front of my neck and I will have a permanent scar. Two major surgeries over 2 weeks has been hard on me, I’m not sure if I have any inner strength remaining to fight through this last one. I get exhausted by the most minor activity, like brushing teeth or washing my face. I have difficulty typing and using my hands and pain prevents me from making long phone calls. I’m petrified for tomorrow’s surgery as the higher on the spine you go, the greater the risk (breathing on own, speaking/swallowing, full body paralysis, coma and death are all listed as potential complications on the forms.)

The stress this has put in my family has been difficult. But on top of this, since I’ve been out of work for so long (7 surgeries over 15 months), my short term disability payments stopped and we are waiting until probably March before we see the first signs of money.  On top of this we are getting notices from our children’s schools that they will no longer be able to attend if we don’t pay, notices from the mortgage company, notices of utilities pending shut off.  Jeff is doing all he can to cover as much as he can, but we need two incomes to survive in NJ.

I am mortified to be creating this and sending it out, as this is going to look bad to our families and friends.  But I have been crying for 24 hours straight today about all of this, and someone just sent me this suggestion, and in my heart I swear I heard Jesus say yes, Heather, this is what you need.

Thank you Jesus for the constant reminders of your presence and showing me love and support every time I need it, your timing is impeccable and I know God you will help me through this so I can be a happier and healthier wife, Mom and employee.  Please look after my family in the event things don’t go well tomorrow. 

Thank you for anything you can do to to help us during this difficult time. Love to all.