My Sweetie and I: A Decade in the Trenches

When I look back at what we’ve been through together for the past decade, I’m honestly amazed we’re still standing. We are, but the past 10 years have taken their toll on our ability to survive financially and we need help moving forward. With no other options, we’re reaching out for the support we need to meet basic living expenses, accommodate our new reality of health constraints and keep our heads above water while we build ourselves a self-supporting bridge to the other side.

Here’s what our last ten years have actually looked like:

Any one of these things alone could have broken a person - or a marriage - but we’ve always been a team and we’ve faced each one together with as much grace as we could find. But collectively, they’ve taken everything we had and now the culmination of circumstances beyond our control is threatening to literally put us out of our home.

Our property taxes have recently gone through the roof, as has our health insurance premium. While we’ve looked hard at reducing that expense, Scott’s ongoing medical needs (regular specialist visits, testing, and monitoring…) require a level of coverage that reflects the reality of managing a chronic condition resulting from cancer treatment. And new medical issues keep emerging.

Even the basic safety modifications Scott’s worsening neuropathy have made necessary (grab bars in the tub, an additional stair railing) are more than we can afford.

We’re doing everything in our power to turn our situation around but we’re rapidly running out of time and the resources to make that happen.

We’re working through mortgage assistance options with our servicer. We have pursued every subsidy and assistance program we can find. Scott has applied for disability and been denied - he’s reapplying, but that process takes months we don’t have.

We continue living frugally and cutting excess expenses. We spend mindfully. We don’t go out for meals - I cook everything at home. Our vehicle is a 2003 Honda CRV we bought used when our previous car’s front end literally rusted through and fell apart. The CD changer stopped working years ago but thankfully the cassette player still works perfectly.

Scott can’t simply “go get a job.” While he wishes that was a possibility, his options are specialized and limited. He needs fully remote work due to the neuropathy that affects his mobility, balance and aspects of his daily functioning that most people never have to think about. And the tech industry is currently shedding jobs faster than it’s creating them. Nonetheless he continues to apply for remote positions when he sees them.

I am actively working to grow my freelance writing and creative assistant practice and build my Story Mining business in which I help people excavate and preserve the meaningful narratives of their lives. It is work I believe in deeply and I am pursuing it with everything I have. But building something sustainable for the future takes time we are quickly running out of.

We are, quite literally, one cracked water pipe or broken refrigerator away from disaster.

We are at real risk of losing our home.

We are not people who ask for help. This is genuinely one of the hardest things either of us has ever done (and that’s saying a lot). But we are out of options and we are out of time.

We’re not giving up. We’re just asking you to help us not lose everything while we get back on our feet.

If you can give, we are more grateful than we can say. If you would share this, that means just as much. Either way, thank you for taking the time to read our story.

Gina & Scott