Help Us Give My Father a Dignified Farewell After Hospice

As the founder of the Death Advocacy Project, I've dedicated my life to supporting individuals and families through their hardest times. Today, I humbly turn to you for support in our own time of need as we face the impending loss of my beloved father, Steve, known to many as Rocky.

Despite proudly maintaining a 3.94 GPA while returning to academics to create a better life for my son and me, I’ve found myself in a challenging position. I saved nearly $20,000 to carry me through my first semester and to have an emergency fund for my father’s funeral expenses. Unfortunately, when my father’s Medicaid case was wrongfully closed, I had to use these funds to cover the costs of his 24-hour home health attendant, which Medicaid only partially reimbursed after several frustrating hearings, the last of which ended in yet another adjournment with no new date on the docket - and no reimbursement.

Currently, my father is in the Brooklyn VA hospital, battling an unknown respiratory failure. Despite negative cultures and initial improvement, his oxygen levels have dangerously decreased again. We were recently told that he might soon require hospice care, but due to hospital policies, his beloved grandson, my son, will not be able to say goodbye—a heartbreaking blow for our tiny family of three.

My father and son share a unique bond. When I was nine, I moved in with my father after advocating for myself in court. Despite financial struggles, including no support from my mother which for a time rendered us unhoused and living in a hotel room where he was the night auditor, my father raised me with love and dedication. The person I am today is because of my father. When my son was born, my father became his main support, especially when I left an abusive relationship and moved back in with him. Their connection is deep, and the thought of them not being able to say farewell is devastating.

I am working tirelessly, even with the support of my former Congresswoman's office, to challenge the VA Hospital's policy that prevents children from visiting dying veterans. But time is running out, and I must prepare for the worst.

In 2020, anticipating his decline, I purchased a grave for my father. Now, I need your help to honor his wishes and provide him with a dignified farewell. Your donations will help cover the costs of his funeral, transportation to the cemetery, grave opening, funeral director fees, his rent so as not to leave his landlord in a bind, clearing out his home, and childcare as I navigate these challenging times.

My father has always been there for me and my son, and I want to ensure he has the peaceful and respectful farewell he deserves. Any support you can provide during this heartbreaking time will mean the world to us.

Thank you for your kindness and generosity.

With gratitude,

Kiki & Hart