Help Us Care for Idrees

Idrees and I met 15 years ago in medical school. He is the love of my life. We have a beautiful family, with our sons, Kiran & Keshav who are 5 & 3. We were living a wonderful life filled with joy and gratitude when my beloved husband Idrees was diagnosed with glioblastoma in September 2019. He has had surgery, radiation, multiple chmotherapies, an experimental vaccine, but suffered a recurrence of disease in May 2021. We have worked as hard as humanly possible to fight this beast of a disease but, it seems like cancer is winning. A little less than a month ago, we found out his cancer has spread everywhere including in the areas of his brain that control his behavior/cognition and near the brain stem which controls his ability to balance and do basic tasks such as breathing. Idrees and our family have had many setbacks this year, most of all Idrees’s level of functioning. He is getting weaker day by day on his left side and at this point barely able to walk without assistance. Additionally, he is declining cognitively. He has had many falls because he is requiring one on one assistance and despite our pleas, he doesn’t always ask for help due to cognitive issues. It can take up to 25 minutes for him to walk to and from the bathroom and he still has had falls. I am providing this help along with the help of mother and sister, but I am taking a short unpaid leave from work to make memories as a family. When he falls, I am barely able to lift him and the situation is getting worse. When I return to work, I am concerned about his safety and well being because the situation is mentally and physically exhausting and I am barely able to manage now. I am not able to spend time with my little boys the way I need to be able to as I am so exhausted as 24/7 caregiver and I need to be able to provide for our family for our basic needs such as our mortgage, regular bills, food/necessities, and our usual exorbitant healthcare costs. It costs $4,500 a week to have a fulltime caretaker, so approximately $18,000 a month. I don’t have the funds for this and insurance won’t cover the costs. I am so fatigued and overwhelmed, but I recognize I need help, if not for my own mental health but for my children. Idrees’s family initially said they would help with this cost, but have backed out. I wish family could cover this work, but the only people who have offered help are elderly, have multiple health problems, and are unable to lift idrees if/when he falls. I am so ashamed to be asking for help but I am compromising my own physical and mental health. I need to live a long life to take care of my boys. Please help our family.