My partner Kat and I have been living together since August, but our home looks a lot different than we imagined. We are full-time caregivers for Kat’s 91-year-old great-grandmother, Geneva.
In May, Geneva suffered a serious fall requiring a total hip replacement. Combined with her progressing dementia, she now requires 24/7 physical and cognitive care. While we initially expected her to remain in a skilled nursing facility, we hit a devastating legal brick wall.
The Medicaid "Asset Trap"
Geneva was sent home from the nursing home not because she recovered, but because Medicaid refused to continue covering her care. The state determined she owns too many assets to qualify—specifically two unoccupied townhomes here in Tullahoma. However, because Geneva never established a Power of Attorney, we are legally barred from renting those homes for income or selling them to pay for her care. We are stuck in a tragic "catch-22": she is too "wealthy" on paper for state aid, but we have no legal authority to access that wealth to help her.
The Toll on Our Family
Because paying for a nursing home out-of-pocket is impossible, the responsibility has fallen entirely on us.
- Full-Time Care: Kat must stay home basically around the clock to assist Geneva with eating, mobility, and basic hygiene.
- Income Loss & Employment Barriers: As both a professional musician and a licensed realtor, my livelihood depends on having the availability to accept last-minute gigs or show properties to clients. In the current Tullahoma job market, a traditional 9-5 position would actually provide less flexibility than we have now, making it impossible to assist Kat with Geneva’s 24/7 care or manage the constant logistics of her legal and medical needs. Recent months have been dangerously slow, compounded by the loss of a major New Year’s Eve gig far too late in the season to replace it with another one.
- Rising Costs: We’ve faced urgent, expensive home repairs in the dead of winter and are struggling to keep the lights on and my car—my only way to get to work and also to go get groceries and other household needs—from being repossessed.
Our Path Forward: The Race for Conservatorship
We are currently fighting for a legal conservatorship. While selling Geneva’s properties won’t immediately cover the astronomical cost of a private nursing home, it will provide the resources we desperately need to relocate the three of us to a safer, more sustainable environment.
Finalizing this legal process is our only way to:
- Move to a Safe, Healthy Environment: Our current home is in a state of decay from years of neglect as Geneva’s health declined. We are dealing with failing HVAC systems, a pest infestation, and spreading mold and fungi in the crawlspace. These conditions are dangerous for everyone, but especially for Geneva and for Kat, who battles Crohn’s Disease.
- Relocate for Work & Medical Care: Moving closer to Nashville will drastically reduce my commute and gas expenses for music gigs, making it possible for me to actually bring in an income. It also puts us within reach of better hospitals and specialists for both Kat and Geneva.
- Stabilize Our Finances: Accessing the equity in these properties will allow us to handle the "hidden" costs of 24/7 home care without losing our vehicle or our ability to survive.
The Current Crisis
We hope to have the conservatorship finalized by the end of January, but we have reached the end of our rope. My savings are gone, and my credit cards are maxed out. We are simply trying to survive the next few weeks—to keep the heat on and the car in the driveway—until the legal system allows us to move our family to a safe, pest-free home.
How You Can Help
Any contribution will go directly toward:
- Emergency home repairs and heating costs.
- Basic living expenses and car payments to ensure we stay mobile.
- Bridge funding for Geneva’s needs until the conservatorship is granted.
Thank you for reading our story. Even if you cannot donate, sharing this link would mean the world to us and to Geneva.