My name is Trish - a mom, a wife, a yoga teacher, and a midwifery student.
What is my passion/purpose?
My experiences of being bullied as a child, have informed my interactions throughout my adulthood. I want to use those uncomfortable moments and my personal drive to help others realize their potential and feel as though there are safe places where they can be completely themselves.
My desire to help others has driven me to find a way to contribute to this world in a meaningful way while at the same time being able to provide for my family.
I look to my girls and know that I want to be a role model in the type of career I choose. I also want to support them when they face their own challenges and insecurities. I can speak to that because of my own lived experience.
My girls keep me in check and motivate me. I want to be a living example for them of what is possible when you put your mind and heart fully into something.
How did I get here?
In 2008 I knew I wanted to be a midwife and was considering what I needed to do for the process. In 2009 I found out I was pregnant and needed to put midwifery aside until subtle nudges and whispers in the wind became a loud knock on the door that could no longer be ignored.
2013 felt like the right time to apply for the program, but I wasn’t sure if we, as a family, could afford it given the financial and time commitments, while still trying to raise small children. Then a family member stepped in and offered to pay for my entire tuition and some of our living expenses for the duration of my program. So I forged ahead.
In 2014 I excitedly started the midwifery program at Ryerson University. But shortly after beginning, life changed dramatically. My position at work began to shift with a decrease in hours, my partner’s art career began to take off in a positive way, but most of his earnings went towards paying off debt and supplementing the income I was no longer providing as a full time student.
2015 delivered the biggest blow when the financial support we were receiving abruptly came to an end. I used up my student line of credit and depleted the savings I had put aside to be used during my placement terms in the latter years of the program.
In the fall of 2017 I applied for Ontario Student Loans (OSAP). I was confident I would be granted the loan as I met all the requirements and provided all the documentation in a timely fashion, however, I recently learned that my application was denied. I am currently appealing the decision but this could take several months.
Why does all of this matter?
My program can’t enroll me into my placements if my tuition isn't paid by November 15th, 2017 and if I can't be enrolled in my placements, then I can't move forward with my degree.
Taking time off is not an option. I won't make enough money in one year to allow me to pay all of my bills, take care of my family and save up for 2.5 years worth of living expenses and tuition. And I need to finish this degree!
There is no guarantee that I will successfully appeal the OSAP denial, and it certainly won’t happen before my tuition is due.
Classmates and faculty have observed me having headaches and migraines for days on end while I simultaneously navigate being an employee, mother, wife and student. Up until now, I have only let a few close friends and family know just how difficult this has been.
I'm a relatively private person. I tend not to share when I am in a dark place. I don't like to ask for help. I don't even hint that I am wading in dark, murky waters. But behind the outward happiness and strength I work hard to convey, I am terrified of not realizing my dream of becoming a midwife.
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