My name is Torey Singletary, and I want to go home.

My mother passed away December 6, 2025, after suffering 2 heart-attacks within 24 hours. I’ve always heard heart attacks are more deadly for women than men, I just never thought my mom would be taken away by it; Not with her strength and ability to fight every situation in life.

For those who actually knew what life was like for my mom and I growing up in Bayonne and Jersey City, NJ, you know her narcolepsy was extreme and spent most of her life asleep. My mom was born in South Carolina in 1948, a time when the health of people of color wasn’t a concern, and mental health concerns were even less likely to be resolved, if they were ever even talked about. For my mom, her additional mental and behavioral issues were “treated” with faith in God. As a child, this meant having to repeatedly say “By Jesus’ stripes I am healed” instead of being given medicine for asthma, bronchitis, allergies, colds... any ailment that occurred was managed this way because this was all she knew.

If you have no experience with a narcoleptic person, it’s difficult to fully describe. Imagine your mom lighting an oven pilot and falling asleep while lighting the oven. now imagine her falling into the oven while still asleep… you’re 6… you have to get her to wake up and get her away from danger. People rarely have empathy for things they’re unfamiliar with or unable to grasp cognitively… so imagine being a toddler on the Bergen Avenue bus in the 1970’s in your mom’s arms as she has a narcoleptic episode and watching a man go in your mom’s purse and take money because she’s an easy target. This happened on more than 1 occasion to us. Me the child looking at this couldn’t do anything about it… you can imagine the role I took on in her life growing up.

I’ve put the fullness of my hurt on hold until I get home to Florida. Fortunately for me, living with my mom’s combined life-issues has given me the ability to turn feelings off and on like a light switch, a defense that was initially designed to help me defend against hurt from the person I loved.

My family has been more than supportive during this time; I could never thank my Uncle Richard enough for his commitment to my mom in both life and death.

I’m thankful for all the things my mother was and wasn’t in my life. All of her issues in life helped me grow into the balanced person I am today, actively moving towards the next plateau in life. And this is where my desire to go home truly comes into focus. I’ve carried many forms of hurt, disappointment, resentment, abuse, and tolerance for things that should not be tolerated in life… things none of us as human beings are ever happy to deal with.

I was fortunate enough to work in travel for many years and the most important lesson I learned is that we all need someone to guide us on our journeys in life. Right now, I need everyone to help guide me home. I’m not good at asking for help, I never have been, but today I’m asking. If we’ve ever had a memorable conversation in life, If I’ve ever helped you, If I ever created something to help you or your business grow, If I’ve ever treated you like family the moment we met and left you with that genuine feeling…. I need you right now.

When I was in travel, I started a trend of referring to people as “family” because over time we get to know one another closely in travel, likes, dislikes, loves, we learn the heart of a person when working in travel. I was once told to stop doing this because of the perception it gave… but I’m glad to to see that term being used widely among friends and former colleagues because it’s what we are and will always be.

If you know me, you know my heart – and if you don’t, hopefully you know more about me now. Any help us appreciated.

#HelpToreyGetHisMomsBelongingsHome #WeAreAllFamilyInSomeWay