Donation protected
Before
June2021
My name is Darlene and I'll be 58yrs old in July 2021. As for anyone, life has been tough and I've struggled with my weight & depression since childhood. I've always felt "unlovable" due to verbal & physical child abuse, which shaped how I felt about myself.
I've always tried to be a good wife and mother doing everything for them first (the truth for many of us). My first marriage ended in divorce after 9 years. Although we were best friends, loved each other, I felt he was gay and needed to figure out his life. I agreed to stay with him until he got the counseling he needed as well as to keep his secret until he was ready. My 6yr old blamed me for the divorce for a couple of years and that was rough! Finally my X told our sons the truth 18yrs later our youngest sons' birthday. They were shocked at first but very supportive. My youngest also apologized to me for blaming me for the divorce. My X is now happily married; he, his husband and I are still close friends.
My last marriage ended 7yrs ago after 20 years. It took me YEARS to trust anyone in a relationship and just when I trusted him I discovered he was having an affair with his high school sweetheart!!!! Not only was the betrayal devastating, but it put me in a severe depression and financial hardship as EVERYTHING was in my name. It took me 5 years to pay off the debt, and he was able to walk away free from everything.
The year before the divorce I'd lost 86lbs and was finally feeling good about myself. However the divorce and financial hardship put me in a deep, deep depression. I worked 2 jobs for 5 years, felt so alone, betrayed, unlovable (what's wrong with me?), unworthy (again) and honestly, if I wasn't so close to my adult children and my beautiful grandchildren, I would have ended my life. They are the ONLY ones who saved me; I kept thinking of the hurt they would experience and I couldn't put them through that.
I've struggled desperately for the last 7 years and I helped myself to basically whatever I wanted to eat...... My weight skyrocketed to 267lbs!!!!! I've lost and gained hundreds of pounds throughout my life but I just couldn't keep it off-depression got the best of me and I couldn't get the strength or motivation to start loosing again. I've been so lonely, even though I have my grandchildren and I know my family loves me, I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I want to be able to do more things with my grandkids without being "winded", I wanted to get off my blood pressure medicine, I want to feel loveable and love someone!
Finally, late 2019 I decided I'm not getting any younger, I NEED to do some things for myself now after doing everything for everyone else for so many years! I started working on my emotional self and I found my insurance would cover a portion of RNY, so decided to do it. I had to jump through many hoops to be approved which included loosing 30lbs, personal training, counselling, and had a few sessions with a nutritionist. I was FINALLY approved for surgery; then Covid hit. Of course surgeries were postponed indefinitely and I went into depression again gaining back all the weight I'd lost and then some.
Thank gosh I'd done all the work required and my surgeon's office finally called with a surgery date! Weight Loss Surgery was 10-5-2020 and I believe the surgery saved my life. I’m down 107lbs as of 6/23/21. I feel so much better about myself inside and out, I really needed this for my emotional well being and my health. I've learned so much about myself and though I'm a work in progress, I've stopped most of the negative talk to myself. I'm off ALL blood pressure meds now and I feel like this is beginning a new stage in my life!!! But I don't feel comfortable dating yet due to all of the loose skin. OMG, it gets worse with age..... I want to feel even more confident in myself so I don't make the wrong choices in a partner (I don't want to be desperate). I hope to one day meet someone to enjoy life with, including my beautiful family as family is everything to me!
I'm soooooo lonely, now than ever as my son & grandkids just moved to Texas and to top it off, I had to put my 16yr old, Chloe the Labradoodle, down in May. She was my best friend and had been with me through thick and thin.
I'm so thankful for our group, The Bariatric Bankroll!! I've been a member since its' conception and even though it's been a struggle financially with my monthly bills AND paying for my RNY surgery, I've donated to EVERY SINGLE person who has won. I know how important the surgery is, it saved my life!!! This group is amazing and we really are changing peoples lives!
So here goes.... I have a hard time asking for help, but I’m asking for $15,000 in donations. I know it's a lot of money and I'd appreciate all the help from all of you to pay off my RNY surgery and have a jump start for skin removal. We all know skin removal surgery can range from $8k-$40k depending on what is being done, and although insurance covered 80pct of my weight loss surgery, the 80pct didn't take into consideration any co pays or maximum out of pocket expenses. My final bill was over $8600, I'm making monthly payments of $343 and still owe about $5000.
My absolute DREAM is to have the Granny Lift (It's called a Mommy Lift, but I renamed it!) But I will do whatever surgery I can with the funds that have. I want to feel confident in myself & my body and I want the outside to match what is inside. I know I'll never be beautiful to some people, but I feel beautiful on the inside and finally love myself. I want to find someone to enjoy things in life with. I want to find someone to love, who treats me the way I deserve to be treated, and who loves me. And if it doesn't happen then it doesn't happen, I'm OK with myself now and I don't really NEED anyone, but I'm tired of being lonely.
I promise, if I win, I will continue to donate to EVERYONE else who is chosen.... FOREVER!!!!
Thank you so much for reading my lifelong story, I will be posting update pictures of my journey.
Dreams can come true❤️
June2021My name is Darlene and I'll be 58yrs old in July 2021. As for anyone, life has been tough and I've struggled with my weight & depression since childhood. I've always felt "unlovable" due to verbal & physical child abuse, which shaped how I felt about myself.I've always tried to be a good wife and mother doing everything for them first (the truth for many of us). My first marriage ended in divorce after 9 years. Although we were best friends, loved each other, I felt he was gay and needed to figure out his life. I agreed to stay with him until he got the counseling he needed as well as to keep his secret until he was ready. My 6yr old blamed me for the divorce for a couple of years and that was rough! Finally my X told our sons the truth 18yrs later our youngest sons' birthday. They were shocked at first but very supportive. My youngest also apologized to me for blaming me for the divorce. My X is now happily married; he, his husband and I are still close friends.
My last marriage ended 7yrs ago after 20 years. It took me YEARS to trust anyone in a relationship and just when I trusted him I discovered he was having an affair with his high school sweetheart!!!! Not only was the betrayal devastating, but it put me in a severe depression and financial hardship as EVERYTHING was in my name. It took me 5 years to pay off the debt, and he was able to walk away free from everything.
The year before the divorce I'd lost 86lbs and was finally feeling good about myself. However the divorce and financial hardship put me in a deep, deep depression. I worked 2 jobs for 5 years, felt so alone, betrayed, unlovable (what's wrong with me?), unworthy (again) and honestly, if I wasn't so close to my adult children and my beautiful grandchildren, I would have ended my life. They are the ONLY ones who saved me; I kept thinking of the hurt they would experience and I couldn't put them through that.
I've struggled desperately for the last 7 years and I helped myself to basically whatever I wanted to eat...... My weight skyrocketed to 267lbs!!!!! I've lost and gained hundreds of pounds throughout my life but I just couldn't keep it off-depression got the best of me and I couldn't get the strength or motivation to start loosing again. I've been so lonely, even though I have my grandchildren and I know my family loves me, I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I want to be able to do more things with my grandkids without being "winded", I wanted to get off my blood pressure medicine, I want to feel loveable and love someone!
Finally, late 2019 I decided I'm not getting any younger, I NEED to do some things for myself now after doing everything for everyone else for so many years! I started working on my emotional self and I found my insurance would cover a portion of RNY, so decided to do it. I had to jump through many hoops to be approved which included loosing 30lbs, personal training, counselling, and had a few sessions with a nutritionist. I was FINALLY approved for surgery; then Covid hit. Of course surgeries were postponed indefinitely and I went into depression again gaining back all the weight I'd lost and then some.
Thank gosh I'd done all the work required and my surgeon's office finally called with a surgery date! Weight Loss Surgery was 10-5-2020 and I believe the surgery saved my life. I’m down 107lbs as of 6/23/21. I feel so much better about myself inside and out, I really needed this for my emotional well being and my health. I've learned so much about myself and though I'm a work in progress, I've stopped most of the negative talk to myself. I'm off ALL blood pressure meds now and I feel like this is beginning a new stage in my life!!! But I don't feel comfortable dating yet due to all of the loose skin. OMG, it gets worse with age..... I want to feel even more confident in myself so I don't make the wrong choices in a partner (I don't want to be desperate). I hope to one day meet someone to enjoy life with, including my beautiful family as family is everything to me!
I'm soooooo lonely, now than ever as my son & grandkids just moved to Texas and to top it off, I had to put my 16yr old, Chloe the Labradoodle, down in May. She was my best friend and had been with me through thick and thin.
I'm so thankful for our group, The Bariatric Bankroll!! I've been a member since its' conception and even though it's been a struggle financially with my monthly bills AND paying for my RNY surgery, I've donated to EVERY SINGLE person who has won. I know how important the surgery is, it saved my life!!! This group is amazing and we really are changing peoples lives!
So here goes.... I have a hard time asking for help, but I’m asking for $15,000 in donations. I know it's a lot of money and I'd appreciate all the help from all of you to pay off my RNY surgery and have a jump start for skin removal. We all know skin removal surgery can range from $8k-$40k depending on what is being done, and although insurance covered 80pct of my weight loss surgery, the 80pct didn't take into consideration any co pays or maximum out of pocket expenses. My final bill was over $8600, I'm making monthly payments of $343 and still owe about $5000.
My absolute DREAM is to have the Granny Lift (It's called a Mommy Lift, but I renamed it!) But I will do whatever surgery I can with the funds that have. I want to feel confident in myself & my body and I want the outside to match what is inside. I know I'll never be beautiful to some people, but I feel beautiful on the inside and finally love myself. I want to find someone to enjoy things in life with. I want to find someone to love, who treats me the way I deserve to be treated, and who loves me. And if it doesn't happen then it doesn't happen, I'm OK with myself now and I don't really NEED anyone, but I'm tired of being lonely.
I promise, if I win, I will continue to donate to EVERYONE else who is chosen.... FOREVER!!!!
Thank you so much for reading my lifelong story, I will be posting update pictures of my journey.
Dreams can come true❤️
Organizer
Darlene Christian
Organizer
Tacoma, WA