This campaign is difficult for me to share. I would much rather be helping others than needing help myself.

*GFM uses Automated Goals, so it will increase if donations come in until the ultimate goal is reached.

Many of you are familiar with the project I created in 2024 to spread kindness in this crazy world we are currently living in. I am proud to say that since its inception, we have managed to help over 50 individuals and families obtain what they needed.

Two friends (and my therapist) feel like it is time to allow some of that kindness to maybe find its way back. It makes me uncomfortable, but with their encouragement, I'm putting this out here. I've always told others that the answer is always no if you don't ask. Even if it makes me want to throw up. ‍

I have not walked since August 11, 2023. Some generous friends and family have stepped in occasionally to make sure I had what was needed to make life easier (a walker, a manual transport wheelchair, ramps, lumbar supports, meds).

Almost three years in and I am still waiting for an official diagnosis. Without a final, complete diagnosis, insurance refuses to cover certain things and many programs are unable to assist without a complete diagnosis. That has left me paying for imaging and diagnostic testing out of pocket. That led to a snowball effect and now, I am hoping for help to move forward with further testing.

I would SO MUCH RATHER help others, but my therapist says I have to suck up my pride because (she says) I can't continue living in "survival mode" if there is a possibility of a way out.

To be completely honest, I have struggled with how I am going to make monthly payments toward my debt incurred due to the out-of-pocket medical costs. I always feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water. It sucks to have gone from plenty in the bank to this after my body stopped cooperating.

It is so frustrating to look at totals and know that if I could find a side-gig that would pay me $4000, I could pay off what is making me lose sleep and making everyday life more than a little difficult.

3 years ago, we were making plans for travel, dinner "dates," time with friends on the lake, road trips to see friends and family... now, none of that is possible, and frankly, it's pretty depressing.

I do have a financial counselor ready to go if I can get out of the current hole to prevent this from being a nasty cycle.

I haven't done a GoFundMe for myself until now for a few reasons.

1. I don't ever want anyone to question my efforts for others because of sharing my situation. Helping others keeps me going.

2. I would never want my family to see it. They've been amazing and help in many ways. I wouldn't ever want them to feel like they haven't done enough, and I know what they are and aren't able to do.

3. It's embarrassing. I know, it shouldn't be, but it is. I've been "the helper" since elementary school. My first-grade teacher called me "the Mother Teresa of the playground" on my report card.

Once the current debt is paid off and a basic electric chair is obtained, I will be able to save for future medical care instead of having to make payments toward the debts. I will also be able to GO PLACES. Into places with other people. I will be able to participate in life again, and I can't even begin to imagine what that will do for my mental health. Being able to get out of our car somewhere that isn't home will be a dream come true. One that hasn't been possible since '23.

There you have it.

I hate feeling vulnerable, but here I am. At this point, I feel like I have no other option. I have to give it a shot.

Anything raised over the needed amount will go towards helping others.

Thank you for reading.

I hope you will consider chipping in.

Every bit helps.