Hi all , thank you taking the time to read this .

as most of you are aware mom has been on palative care end of life the past year or so but recently she had a major fall . That has caused serious head injury and we have been advised to start planning for moms passing.

As you can imagine, that's not the news I was wanting to hear as I'm not ready to say goodbye yet .

it's very upsetting and hard to cope with the added pressure especially with myself having a life limiting illness myself with serious complications and currently having treatment myself .

Now I have the added worries of having to do the one thing I never thought I'd have to do so soon .

Start organising and planning for my mums funeral. Obviously they can't say when this will happen but under circumstances when I spoke with teams involved they did advise I start looking and have the plans in place for her .

The head injury is the worst they have seen and it's been very upsetting and I feel sick seeing my mother like this .

She never gives in she always keeps fighting but to be told this one she hasn't got enough left to fight.

As people/ friends are all aware I'm disabled myself and very sick also I have been caring for my mom too and I don't get a lot of money not enough to cover a funeral expenses in full especially one she would really like a natural funeral.

I'd really like to give her the send off she deserves when the worst happens is like to do her proud but I don't have that amount of money. It's breaking my heart having to ask for help I don't like having too .

I'm so embarrassed to have to have to ask for help to do this .

i don't have extended family to turn too and we have always just done what we can with what we have . Make the best of it as mom would say .

Just us as a family of 3 ,myself my mom and Alex my son .

I know mom wouldn't dream of asking anyone for help she's too proud but I feel and would like to do her proud and give her what she deserves, to have a beautiful funeral where I can give her love and honour and make her proud of me one last time . And do the right thing.

It's been very difficult few years caring for my mom watching her decline and I've done it the best I can .

And I'm not ready to say goodbye not yet !

but when palative teams tell you it's nearly time you have to try to accept what's to come but with that comes the worry of how will I afford to do this alone ? . I've had many sleepless nights worrying about mum and worrying about the future.

I'm asking if at all possible if you could please be kind and if possible help me give my mother a nice funeral that's respectful and honours her wishes .

She's asked for a natural funeral/ burial that's kinder to the earth and it's cleaner for the environment and since she loves flowers and nature I thought it would be perfect for her .

I'm really embarrassed to have to ask for help as everyone knows I rarely ask for help from anyone . I try to be very independent and figure things out myself but I'm at a total loss what to do or how to do it.

I'm really struggling to hold all this together alone and this added pressure of finding the funds to do the right thing for my mum and hopefully follow her wishes the best I can .

Any help you would be willing to donate would be greatly appreciated no matter how small any help would be appreciated so much.

Thank you for reading my post

And the love and support shown this past month since mum's fall it's been lovely the messages I've received it's just really difficult watching your mum decline faster than you are willing to accept.

I'm just trying to do my best and make her proud.

I hope she doesn't mind me asking for help

All the funds raised will be used towards her final wishes and resting place (a nature burial ) and funeral services ,)

. If anything is left over I will then make a donation to a chosen charity of mums choice . I hope that's ok with you all .

Thank you reading this and I hope you can help in any small way possible.

Thank you

Victoria smethurst x