Help to fund my life saving Anorexia and C-PTSD treatment

Written in 10/2023

Hey everyone,

I find it pretty embarrassing that I've had to create this page as I am very scared to ask others for help and don't want to be a burden. Unfortunately, this week I found out that my insurance AVIVA Health, has deemed my case as 'Chronic' (i.e. incurable) and therefore will no longer support my care. This is problematic in itself as NO EATING DISORDER IS INCURABLE, but there's nothing I can do to change this decision. I have had multiple doctors provide me with letters to supply to AVIVA explaining this, all of which have been ignored. I'm so tired of fighting the system.

My name is Emily, and I have been suffering with my mental health for a long time, and I dream of nothing more than a 'normal' life. I dream to one day become a therapist myself, and a Yoga Teacher to help others the way I've been privileged to have received help.

From the age of 18 until 28 I begged the NHS for help with my eating disorder which at the time went in cycles of anorexia, binge eating and exercise addiction, but unfortunately, I was never able to receive any help, due to my BMI "not being low enough" as bouts of binging pushed it just above underweight and due to waiting lists and funding cuts when I moved (I moved each year like every uni student!).

My eating disorders are merely coping mechanisms, which help me run away from my emotions, and have helped me feel a sense of control when life has gotten hard, as I have invariably faced traumatic and highly stressful experiences since I was very small.

I think I started using my ED around the age of 6, after moving around the world a lot but I have no way of knowing for sure.

Throughout my life so far, I have survived Bullying (as a child and an adult), Abuse, Neglect, Sexual Assaults, Rapes, traumatic Bereavements of peers and family and as we all have, a pandemic. I've always been a perfectionist and tried to hold myself together whilst supporting others as much as I could, which led to no one fully understanding or noticing the pain I was feeling inside, and I don't think I wanted anyone to know. This all together added up to a major mental breakdown from which I have not been able to work, as I fell into Anorexia Nervosa mid 2021.

At that time I was told I would probably die as the waiting list was 2 years long due to the pandemic, but then through a stroke of hope and luck, my boyfriend was able to access healthcare insurance that covered my treatment.

For the past 2 years I've had 2 admissions to inpatient eating disorder services, 1 admission to an acute mental health ward, 2 admissions to intensive daycare ED treatment, and outpatient trauma therapy - truly trying to make up for lost time and missed opportunity for early intervention.

I've funded this through a combination of insurance and through family kindly helping.

In the past year of outpatient care, I have managed to gain many things back and hosted a charity ball for Beat with a group of friends and have been trying to raise awareness of eating disorders and CPTSD through activism.

I'm desperate to fight to get a chance to live my life and help others live theirs.

*ED TW*

About a month ago, during my trauma therapy, I retouched some very painful childhood memories, which triggered a relapse into Anorexia. I lost an extreme amount of weight over a couple months with one month of not eating anything, and have had multiple emergency admissions in hospital as my body has been giving up. Within these admissions my boyfriend looked on as the doctors told me that I should be in a coma with my blood sugar levels as low as they were and that all they could do is simply top them back up, where they would fall again as soon as I was discharged. I was told that my organs and my body will give up if I didn't start eating and drinking sufficiently, but, of course, I need professional help to do so which A&Es can't supply.

Last week I received the opportunity to have an emergency admission to Orri Eating Disorder intensive day treatment centre and have currently self-paid the £17K for 6 weeks there, which was gifted to me by my Gran - however, this has wiped my savings pot which is meant to cover at least a year's worth of trauma therapy, which is, unfortunately, a long an enduring process, to untangle the trauma I have survived and give me a chance to learn to regulate my emotions.

I am currently at Orri on a trial basis, but they may need to escalate my care to an inpatient facility if my physical health deteriorates any further, which would cost £30K for 4 weeks, which I cannot afford. There is also nothing to say that 6 weeks at Orri will be enough.

There are currently only 2 NHS ED inpatient beds available in the country, one in Glasgow and one in London, which I currently don't qualify for as my BMI is not under their threshold yet (which is very low due to extremely high post-covid demand; thousands are fighting for these beds), with how my body is right now, I would unlikely survive that level of weight loss right now either as everybody has a different limit.

I am desperate to live. I don't want to die from this illness. I want to get better to be able to help others one day, to have children (and have good mental health to nurture them with). I want the chance to get married and find a purpose in my life.

Please help me live.