I will upload a video tomorrow with a more complete explanation and better quality, to give more details. 

I'm reaching out to ask for help in taking care of expenses to cover bills and help me with transportation back to California. I do not want to leave a good landlord with unpaid bills. I also need to make the travel arrangements for me and my little yorkie. I've been hesitating because I don't want to leave him behind. I will be leaving pretty much everything else behind. I know California isn't going to be what it was 5years ago when I left. I need medical care that I've become weary of fighting for, outside of Ca.  I can return and have support I just don't have out here. A place among friends who have known me for years, and Drs who have treated my back before. I'm not asking for medical expenses, thank God. I say that because I know they can become monumental. I'm just asking for a little bit of help to exit Oklahoma, and return to where I will get the care and support I need for my back. I have written more below. I will follow up with a video, which I think will be better than what I've written. I can hope. LOL  Thank you to friends and family who have helped me along the way. I do not take it for granted. I have come to the conclusion, I can't keep doing the same things, and not think about my back being a number one issue in how I've approached so many things over the years. Pretending I'm okay, physically, and mentally is not okay.  Please help.  I will be making the flight arrangements on Monday Dec 14th, unless I receive a different option for travel. I don't want to stay here any longer than I have to, so my landlord can have this house to rent sooner. I just can't afford a flight immediately, so am stuck accepting the cheapest flights, which are at least a couple weeks or more out. I hope everything I wrote below, will explain a bit more, until I can present you with a video.  Forgive me for my nervousness, I've never used this medium and will hope and pray this finds everyone well, and y'all will understand. One reason for some of this continued, what seems like pointless rambling is I keep reading the pointers. LOL I think I've covered most things, but one is "other way I need help". Even with me just paying for a cheap flight out of my own pocket, and affording my dog, I'll have to wait for a few weeks here, or where ever to fly back to Ca. Flying isn't my only option but to bring Ewok it's the cheapest paid option.   I don't have very many people I call friend here, so I'll ask the churches I've attended and of course people I will always call friend.  A place to lay our heads for the duration, would go a long way toward aleviating the depression and anxiety of the circumstances and season. Looks like Spirit only flies out of DFW, which is much farther than OKC, so options. I'd entertain options. Money is the major issue in exiting. Once home, I'll have the loving support of friends who aren't rich monetarily, but lovingly will give us a home if only temporary. 

I've finally decided to return home to California, the Sacramento area, where I'll
be able to get the medical care from an open Workers Comp Claim, that I've had
extreme difficulty in receiving since leaving California about 6 years ago. I'll also have a place to stay while getting reestablished and once again be among friends and church family. I do not have the funds to do everything I desire, in leaving Oklahoma. I can come up with the money for a plane ticket, even for my little dog, but have to give it a few weeks for me to afford even that price. 

Ideally, I'd love to leave sooner, give up the rental I've been in for a year and several months now, and not generate more bills. That's the biggest thing right now. Bills that I don't want to leave other's holding. My landlord has been very accomodating this year, through all the Covid crisis. I will leave the house rentable, and clean, as I've worked with him on other rentals he has and seen some nightmares. That alone will be a good thing, but I owe a couple months rent that has accumulated over several months, as well as a couple utility bills. In the long run I will make good on those bills, no matter the outcome of this gofundme plea.  

I've had this open medical for a few years and was getting spinal epidurals and medication in Texas, but I lived way out in the country, so getting to the Texas Back Institute was very difficult. Even public transportation only covered part of the trip as Plano had some issues with the transport company outside their county. I don't fully understand, but I digress. 

I've had to recognize I can't keep trying to take any job that I can to pay my bills. The jobs barely cover bills, if they do cover the bills. It's also very hard to try to explain why one day I'm fine, and the next I can't do my job, without explaining I have back problems. I don't enter a job saying so, and I've had to recognize that I can not continue in this broken pattern. Anyone who has back problems can understand. I know many people who have never experienced the pinched nerve, dislocated back, spasms and pain associated with a back problem, have a hard time relating. I do have friends who understand, as best as they can.

I do not claim to be innocent in my decisions, but I do have a broken chooser in respect to people I have trusted, and other decisions over the past few years. I recognize that. Laughably, my sister reminded me I am responsible for the decisions I make. I do laugh at that, because yeah, I take ownership. 

So, rather than continuing a huge letter (too late, huh?) that can be a bit hard to digest for some, I'll make a video and tell my story as compact as I can. I'm not asking for much, so someone suggested this gofundme crowd sourcing solution. I think I said that right.  The amount I've listed is enough given what I have laid out. Not if I fly sooner, which I would love to be home for Christmas! I have a little dog that I can take with me on a Spirit flight,  and afford it, but still need to live for the next 3 weeks here in Ada. There's the catch, I'm only just realizing. The expenses of living for 3 or 4 more weeks, or expenses of a sooner trip.  The amount only covers what I've accumulated, nothing more.  I expect I'll be leaving some bills unpaid, but also have hope beyond myself.  I better stop here, because now I'm getting emotional. yeah, i'm broken.  I've been isolated, as I battle depression. I'm not doing well with the battle, which is something that is deeper this season because of Covid. I'm a balloon twister entertainer who was doing very well in California before I left, and thought I'd duplicate it in North Texas, then here in Ada. Many things are different, especially the population and this year Covid has crushed me. Christmas is tough for me historically, but with my balloons I'd do parties and restaurants and outreach, especially at Christmas. I have to admit, without me going out to do balloons because of the lack of gatherings, has wrecked me like nothing else.