Help this chosen family make ends meet!

The short story:

Three humans (and our two cats) have had a string of bad luck these past couple of years. Disability, unemployment, illness, surgeries, cancer, hospitalizations, car problems, vet bills, loss of loved ones, political stressors, and the ridiculously high rate of rent in recent years combined have landed us in need of a little extra support. We’ve relied on family and friends but they can only do so much, so often.

So we’ve decided to crowdfund to try and fill in some of the gaps of what we need.

The cast of characters:

Rosemary – that’s me, also known online as sophygurl. I’m too disabled to work, which leaves me with little to contribute to the household both financially and with physical labor. Running this campaign is the main way I have to help.

To be very clear and transparent here, funds donated to us will not go directly to me because of the benefits programs I’m on (which are barely enough to live on but are at least stable – for now). But anything given to my two roommates goes to help all of us, so I benefit indirectly by continuing to have 2/3 of our household bills taken care of, cat needs cared for, and their cars maintained (as I do not drive myself and rely on them for rides and errand runs).

Angie – my dear friend and roommate of 17 years who is able to work but due to numerous health issues, both chronic and acute, has had to take time off and has also accrued much medical debt that she diligently pays off, leaving her with less to contribute to the household pot than she’d like. Her car has needed some expensive repairs this past year, as well.

Your donations will also reach us via CashApp $taelilaeta or Venmo @taelilaeta c/o Angie.

Dave – my platonic life partner and roommate of 25 years who has struggled to find work for over a year, now. He was downsized in his previous work from home job and between the job market being what it is and his experience of severe ADHD burnout, he’s been unable to find something reliable since. His car has also needed expensive repairs, and is currently not working with no funds available to even take in to see what’s wrong this time.

He makes cool music, though, so check out his Bandcamp if you’d like to help us out that way or if you’re just curious: https://allwelikeworms.bandcamp.com/

Sheldon – our white and black piebald spotted kitty who needs medication for anxiety (to keep him from licking all of his fur off) and probiotics for his digestion.

Shisky – our black and white tuxedo kitty who needs expensive prescription food to keep bladder crystals away, as well as supplements to help keep him regular in the litter box.

These two brothers are a bonded pair who we adopted together from the shelter 8 years ago when they were around age 3. They both have a lot of anxiety and trauma responses, so we also keep a Feliway diffuser plugged in all the time to help keep them calmer. They are the goodest boys in the world and they help keep all of our moods lifted with humor, snuggles, and that special feline energy. We want to do everything we can to make their lives as safe and stable and comfortable and happy as we possibly can.

The longer story:

The five of us are a family. We may not look like what a family normally looks like, but we love each other and care for each other and have chosen to spend our lives together. We’ve always taken a communal approach to how we manage our household by letting those who have more money, energy, skills, or abilities give more of whatever they have. This is a wonderful approach that works well for us when things are more normal, but there’s been a lot of abnormality lately.

My chronic illness has left with me even less ability to help out with household chores. Dave’s unemployment has left him unable to help out financially, when he was previously our main breadwinner. The cats are aging at the same time and needing more vet care, meds, and special foods. Both of the cars we rely on have had numerous problems, leaving us often with only one vehicle (and occasionally with none). Angie was recently in the hospital and is unable to work for a few weeks now as she recovers from surgery.

To top it all off, we’re getting priced out of the apartment we’ve lived in these past 17 years. Rent has gone up significantly the past few years and we’re expecting another increase soon. Housing in Madison has been, and continues to be, notoriously bad so we’re not even sure if we can find a cheaper place to move to.

And of course, moving itself is a big expense (both of money and energy). So even if we can find a more affordable place, we’ll need money to help with things like movers, cleaners, first/last month’s rent, etc. We are none of us as young or able bodied as we were the last time we moved, so we’ll need the professional help and that takes serious money.

And now we’ve got several loans from loved ones to pay back once we finally get back to a stable place financially, again.

It’s all piling up and the stress of what’s happening in our country is another heaping to the pile. We worry that things that I rely on, like social security and food stamps, will disappear and I’ll be abandoned entirely by our government. We worry about things like FMLA disappearing, which Angie relies on due to various health issues she has when she needs to take time off of work. We worry about the job market getting even tougher with so many workers left out in the cold by this administration’s cuts and shut-down’s, making Dave’s job prospects even slimmer.

So here we are, hats in hand, so to speak, to see if anyone can help us out.

The ask:

First of all, we’re well aware that a lot of people are struggling right now. If you can’t make your own ends meet right now, please don’t feel pressure to donate! We get it, and we also know how hard it can be to have to say no when someone we care about needs help, as we’ve been unable to do as much as we’d normally like in these times, as well.

But if you have a little extra to share, either now or later on down the road (as we expect this will take some time), we’d appreciate it! Small amounts are fine, and they all add up!

Secondly, if you can help get more eyes on this – that also helps! If you can share this on whatever social media sites you happen to use, share when you see one of us posting about it, send it to your community contacts and networks where applicable – this is what makes mutual aid like this work! Most of us can’t donate large amounts to people, but the more folks who see this, the more someone who has a little to give can make a big difference.

Other things that can help – when you share this link, or repost our shares – add a little bit about who we are to you if you know us! A lot of folks feel uncomfortable giving to complete strangers, so even a sentence that says "this is my friend" makes it more personal and helps folks feel more confident that they’re giving to a real person/people in need who they feel a connection to.

If the social media site that you’re sharing on has an algorithm that promotes engagement (like Facebook or Twitter), even liking a post or replying with a comment will boost the post in the algo so that more ppl see it.

What the fundraiser will go towards:

Right now, this will help us pay household bills like rent and utilities while Dave continues to look for work and Angie continues to heal from her surgery.

It will also help us save up to get Dave’s car functional again, pay for the cat’s upcoming annual vet visits, and start a savings for us to either be able to afford to move or to continue to pay rent in our current home when the rent increases again.

Ultimately, we hope this will also help us pay back friends and family who have already been supporting us this past year, allow us to build a little bit of a safety net for future emergencies, and get us back to feeling less scared of how we’re going to get through another day, week, month, or year.

We will update here, and on the socials, when we reach important goals and when life inevitably happens and makes us need another helping hand.

We appreciate all of you for caring, sharing, and being yourselves in this big scary world. Together, we’ll make it through.