Help The Koch family get through this

Hi my name is Kassandra or better known to everyone as Kacie. And this is what happened to me in 2015 and continue to suffer in chronic pain. In a wheel chair, and with no help other then my partner a few friends and some family when they can

On Sept 25 2015 my life changed forever and because my life changed so did my two sons and my wife's life. We had a whole 10 yr plan I was gonna take the world and build the life I never had with my family..I was finally getting past the trauma I went through since I was kid, and a year homeless while I was working at new horizons. I was gonna do it all.. and hell I was making amazing strides I was planning on going to school during the nights because I had just been promoted to group home manager at a company who turned their backs on me the second they could. I was salaried I thought I made it and I would work my ass off to keep going up. To keep advocating for my clients even though I hated the politics. But on Sept 25th I was left short staffed with one client who should have never been in our home bc we couldn't give him what he needed and he was also a risk to us but no one would listen to me haha so much for being the manager. That day he threw me against door frame with my spine hitting it and my head whipping back. I followed their stupid protocols and went to urgent care to get misdiagnosed and refused help for a MONTH.

Then in 2017 I went for my first surgery during said surgery they fractured my facet joint so for a YEAR they told me it was all in my head and I just wanted pills (which I didn't) my only saving grace so I thought was that my workers comp company went bankrupt which meant I could I go to any dr I wanted for the second opinion I had been fighting 8 months for. I go and he says I need I fusion on my L4-L5 bc everytime I moved I was just re fracturing my facet joint. So dumb me trusts the chief of neurosurgery to fuse my spine. Before the surgery was the last time I felt my legs or anything below my waist. Has workmans comp done anything since 2015 besides blame mental illness and trauma from my childhood on my pain nope. Everything is a court battle I have to go to court to go to a dr how does that make sense? For 2 years I locked myself away asking why me I was only 25. My son was only 22 months old when I got injured. He doesn't even remember his mommy before the accident. I can never have another child hell I can only take steps with assistance. And workmans comp has yet to come through to help me in anyway and it's been 6 yrs. I lost most my friends before the injury and the rest have faded away over time bc what fun is it being around someone who is chronic pain. Oh and getting therapy seems more like joke even before the pandemic. Because I will only see a female that's my only requirement bc I know my trauma will be brought up. I remember trying to get to help and being told because I had state insurance I could go on a wait list and they will eventually call me or I can pay out of pocket with no job, no way to get there. I finally get someone to take a chance on me but because of my physical limitations I missed or rescheduled too many appts so they dropped me (before pandemic) now I can't get in at all but its all good I can call hot lines lmao

I know its not the therapists I know they are over worked under paid and have more clients then they know what to do with especially now. But how the hell is anyone who is not suicidal suppose to get help if there's roadblock after roadblock. Some don't even know how hard it is to take the step to call and ask for help from a total stranger but then to be rejected over and over is even harder and eventually you just give up and keep going hoping you never hit crisis. Bc when I did hit crisis I was actually told they probably wouldn't give me my prescribed pain meds and that they weren't really equipped for patients like me (this is what a social worker told me so I begged her to discharge me she did) thats the last time I asked for professional help. This system is fucked up and failing the people who need the most bc of insurance, wait lists, not being equipped to deal with chronic pain patients its all a joke and it's why so many people don't even try to get help. Let's not even mention stigma of mental illness and chronic pain as a whole. Because I have been facing them turned away from pain drs because of what I was on even though I passed every drug test and pill count it didn't matter.

So now I can't get help for my physical ailments without court approval. I can't even get someone to talk to deal with my whole life turning upside down for so many reasons so where do I go from here? I honestly have no idea I just stay in my four walls and hope those collapse anytime soon I guess. Sorry just getting fed up with the bullshit when all I'm asking for is care.

I haven't been able to hold my son since he was 22 months old he had to learn to climb to me for me to hold him and hug him. My oldest step son rarely sees me except for Skype because I can not do the drive to him. He is in group home where he now thrives and I wish I could see more of that then just what I hear or see on screen. I lost my ability to have any other children. I lost feeling for everything below my waist and my hands don't work as they should. I suffer from spasms in my legs and hands that leave me not sleeping or dropping things, unable to open easy things like a bag of chips. Everyday sometimes just feels like another day of torture I have to get through hoping tomorrow will be better. But it never is because I can not get help.

As of right now we are barely making ends meet. My partner Melanie was furloughed for 18 months because of covid. She just got a new job and we are hoping for the best with that but right now my wheel chair is broken so I'm stuck with a manual one, I can not afford therapy that I need to deal with all the life changes I have had to deal with going from a fit runner and kick boxer with a very active job to barely being able to get out of bed. We can't afford nurses or any care for me while I'm home alone so if I fall I hopefully fall where I can reach my phone. Not to mention the costs of my meds they are too much and are draining us. So I'm reaching out for help for anyone who is willing to listen to help my family and I get through this. I did not know I would be on my own for over 6 yrs with no settlement and still be fighting workmans comp at this point.

So If I have touched anyone with my story and you would like to donate please do every little bit counts. Thank you for reading my story I truly appreciate it because I'm not letting workmans comp take my voice away anymore.