Help The Hurleys Have Their Family

(scroll to the bottom for fundraising and bbq event info)

The Hurley Story: 6 Losses, Genetic Disease, IVF, Adoption

Randy and I went to a conference this fall at our church. We had a guest speaker whose opening prayer went like this: “Dear Lord, HELP!!! Amen.” It was funny, everyone laughed, but this is exactly how we all feel sometimes. Randy and I are definitely in our “we need help era.”

If you have not been following along with our story, I will sum it up for you. Just kidding, you get the long version:

A month after my father passed, in October of 2021, we found out I was pregnant. It seemed so right for us and the rest of the family. We all finally smiled for the first time. It made sense—a loss followed by a new life. Then the first miscarriage occurred a week before my husband and I walked down the aisle.

After the loss of 3 babies and multiple diagnoses including antiphospholipid syndrome, I was finally diagnosed with balanced translocation of chromosomes disorder. This is a genetic disease that causes recurrent miscarriages, children born with health problems, stillbirth, etc. We were told that due to my diagnosis, it would be unethical to continue trying naturally. Therefore, our “only option” to having biological children was IVF with genetic testing of the embryos prior to implantation, and we were given very good odds of success.

Months of initial testing, medications, and injections went by and we finally made it to our egg retrieval. My doctor was able to harvest 19 eggs. After fertilization and genetic testing, we ended up with 3 embryos that tested normal, without my chromosome abnormality. We were shaking on the phone waiting for the results: TWO GIRLS AND ONE BOY they said. We instantly started imagining our lives as parents of these children. They all had names, personalities, hobbies. We even talked about where each one would sit at our dinner table.

The plan was to eventually do embryo transfers for all of them; we could not wait to bring them home. Then the first embryo transfer. Didn’t take. Second embryo transfer. Nothing. At this point, we had lost both our girls and thought our chances of having a daughter were gone. So we started looking into adoption agencies. My doctor wanted to do a surgery to clean up the lining of my uterus and do more testing. That led to a second surgery. And finally, our third embryo transfer. And we lost our boy.

After the so far emotionally, mentally, physically, and mostly FINANCIALLY draining journey, this brings us to our present situation. We have no embryos left and have lost 6 babies in the last 3 years. In order to keep trying for a biological child, we have to do another IVF cycle. I can honestly say that I have been poked with a needle the majority of the days of this year. Not to mention we have already spent $29,000 just in the last 9 months. A lot of people asked for our GoFundMe page at the beginning, and we really wanted to do this ourselves. They say raising a child takes a village. In our case, getting our child takes a village and we are ready to lean on our community for support.

We have decided to do another egg retrieval; however, we are not feeling very hopeful and excited about it. We used to think having a family meant making our own children, but we have changed our tune after being put through the wringer just to have them. LOVE makes a family. Randy and I are more than ready to be parents. We named our children on our 3rd date! We are ready to take our kids to church, school, baseball. So adoption, it would take a little longer but would be a more promising solution to obtaining our family.

The problem: MONEY!

IVF: $4650 for the cycle + $5000 for meds

Adoption: $57,000 (you read that right)

We really appreciate all of the HELP!!! we can get. Please share this page with everyone you know! Work, church, your own village, etc. Also, look out for the additional fundraising opportunities we will be having.

Thank you all so much! We need our village to make our dream of having a family come true!

#dontstoppraying

What the infant domestic adoption fees cover: home studies and home study evaluations, caseworker fees for the adoptive parents and expected mother, marketing and communication services to help agency connect parents with women who are experiencing unplanned pregnancies, paid expectant parent expenses (includes medical and dental care, counseling, housing, nutrition, community resources and legal services), matching services, arrangement of post adoption agreements, lifelong post adoption services and records maintenance, parent and child welfare education programs for life. Also included is NO extra cost for multiples or sibling groups. This is something that no other agency we have researched includes. Most agencies charge an additional 10k-60k for additional child if twins or older sibling is included (per child).

FUNDRAISING AND BBQ EVENT INFO:

We will be having the following additional fundraising opportunities as below:

1.) Sneaker Drive: We have partnered with gotsneakers.com. If you have any sneakers (adult AND kids- athletic/hiking shoes only) laying around your house that you no longer are in need of- message me through this app and I will get them from you.

2.) Garage Sale: Will be having a garage sale in Jan/Feb. If you have items that are not sneakers but would like to still donate to our cause, we are willing to take them off your hands! Items such as: furniture, books, tools, appliances, jewelry, clothes, toys, handbags, suitcases, etc. See list below of items desired. Message me to donate.

3.) BBQ and Silent Auction Fundraiser: April 5th. Location TBD. We will be having presales for BBQ tickets soon. There will be many fun activities for the kids and whole family. If you would like tickets ahead of time, let me know. Also, if you would like to donate a basket for our silent auction, we would be overjoyed! List of silent auction items desired, see below.

Garage Sale Items Desired:

- Furniture

- Books

- Tools

- Garden tools

- Fishing/camping supplies

- Appliances

- Glassware

- Dishes

- Jewelry

- Clothes

- Toys

- Handbags

- Shoes

- Suitcases

- Antiques

- Games

Silent Auction Items Desired:

- Jewelry basket

- Spa basket

- Fishing basket

- Beach fun in the sun basket

- River basket

- Alcohol basket

- Restaurant gift card basket

- Movie basket

- Cooking classes

- Wall art

- Sports game tickets

- Sports themed paraphernalia basket

- Coffee or tea basket

- Charcuterie basket

- Date Night basket

- Support your favorite local business: see if you have a business you would like to support by asking them if they would like to donate a basket or item with their business cards/marketing