Help The Allen Family Through A Devastating Time

Bare with me everyone, as this is going to be tough to explain in words, with the emotions and feelings that I must describe to you. 

On Friday April 16th, Ray Allen Jr passed away from this terrible disease we have all been facing and worried about for the past year leaving his wife, children, grandchildren,  animals, and other family and friends behind. This was the most unexpected and devastating thing that could have possibly happened to this family. Ray was sick for 12 days prior to his passing, and I think none of us can even imagine the feeling of only having 12 days left to see our spouse, father, or best friend even if given the notice.



I would like to start with my relationship with this family.

For the past 8 years (most of them anyways) I had the privilege of dating Ray's daughter Clarissa, and adopting a child (Maddie) that figuratively and literally saved my life and taught me to put others before myself, and to work towards the greater good not for myself, but for the ones I love, and the ones that just need a little help. I could write pages and pages on what those two have done for me alone, but that is not why we are here today. But I thank Ray Jr for raising a daughter that I am proud to have had in my life and in my heart, and leading me to a child of my own that I will love and put first before all for the rest of my life. 



  To simply describe my relationship with this family, is to say they are MY family. Just to the degree of the family I was born with. These people did not deserve this pain, and it is simply unfair. As I would do for my own family, I want to take at least some portion of their suffering away. 

Through my years of going from a child to now what I would consider a man, Ray and family have always been there for me just like my own parents. Their sons Cody and Caleb have been the little brothers I never had, Ray's older sons Josh, Chris, and Bubby have always been nothing but good to me and treated me like family, and Clarissa through great and not so great has always been my best friend on my journey of learning right from wrong, good from bad, learning how to love and what love means, and through thick and thin has always been by my side when I needed someone to walk through Hell with.  And no matter what situation I found myself in with my personal relationships, Ray Jr was always there to sneak away and give me some advice. 

So I am here today because of the lessons I have learned from the Allen family. Watching the people I love have their world ripped to pieces in the matter of a few days is an unfathomable pain that I could never accurately describe through a forum of words. And I feel it is my duty to do whatever I can do to return the love and lessons they have given me, in comfort for them at their their most challenging moment. 




Ray Jr was the strong shoulder everyone could lean on when needed, he was the most motivated hard working man I have ever met (and his only motivation was to provide for his family that he loved more than himself), he was the honest truth that you needed to hear even when you didn't want to hear it, as well as the guy you could go play darts with and have the time of your life. Ray Jr was head over heels in love with Wendy, which he made obvious at all times, and even though he was tough as nails on the outside, his heart belonged to his family and anyone else that he thought he could offer help to. He was one of the most honorable men I have had the pleasure of having as a part of my life. The world is a little less bright today than yesterday without him. 

He was the glue that held the Allen family together, and somehow, some way, life must go on for them. Ray was like a 2nd father figure to me personally over the years, and his advice and opinions will stick with me for the rest of my life, as the lessons he taught his own children will stick with them.  His words, lessons, and spirit will live on through us all. 



I believe I have one very big similarity with Ray Jr. That is, that we would both have a hard time with asking for help even if we needed it, and would much rather give than receive.  Right now, this  family that I love and adore needs more help than I can give alone, so I am calling on all of my loved ones, business associates, friends, or acquaintances with a big heart, and anyone else who will listen. I cannot take their pain away, but I can at least do my best to offer comfort in particular areas that this kind of devastation can cause. 

I am telling you all this story from my angle, just a guy that dated Ray's daughter, to show just how special these people are. Someone not even related by blood could feel this much pain for them. They deserve the best, they deserve love, and they deserve help when help is needed. 

I am looking to raise money beyond what I can personally help with. This money will be given to Wendy and family to make sure during their time of grieving they do not have to let the weight of their home, bills, and debts add extra weight to their shoulders that are already burdened with the heaviest of heartbreak. I would like to create some time of financial comfort for Wendy, and all of Rays children, to take their time in sorting out his unexpected departure, and allow them to breathe and find some peace in knowing they still have their home to come home to, and that there is enough kindness in the world as well as peoples lives that they have personally touched, to make this incredible thing happen for them. 

This is the least that I can do for a family that has helped shape my entire adult life. If I could take all the pain away, I would in a heartbeat. But I at least want to lift this one tiny piece of weight from their shoulders, and allow them to grieve in peace for the great loss of a great man. 

So any of you out there that I know personally, through business, know the Allen family, or can imagine a similar situation in your own life - if you have anything that you could spare, it means more to me than I could express. And for those that are not able to help financially, please send love and strength to these amazing people, and share this around so we can take this one little piece of the puzzle that waits ahead of them away. 


Thank you everyone who at least took the time to read this and let me share my thoughts with, as writing this out has helped me to sort out some of my own feelings as well.  If nothing else, do one thing for me today - hug your loved ones a little tighter, be a little better tomorrow than you were today, and never waste any time in negativity over the small things because you never know what tomorrow will bring.

So much love to each and every one of you.