Help Sydney through Blake's Passing

Hi friends,

Thanks for clicking on our page and showing up for Sydney in the wake of Blake's passing.

I'm Savanna, and my sister Ashley is here writing this alongside me. We're raising money to support our wonderful sister-in-law (Blake's wife), Sydney Stetzel.

I want to share a little bit about how we got here, and then how you can help make a big difference, even if it's just a little at a time. You can skip to the bottom of this if the details are too much and you just want to know how to help.

Losing Blake

As you may know, on February 13, 2024, we lost our beloved younger sibling Blake to suicide. This hurts more than any words can express. Thank you for grieving with us and supporting us through this time.

Blake was one of the most special people. They were silly as hell, convicted in their values of justice and equality, more brilliant and creative than we can even begin to put into words, and they loved so deeply it hurt.

On top of those amazing qualities, Blake was also a fighter. From a young age, despite our upbringing and society writ large, they were always bold, brilliant, beautiful, and just so very special. When they came out as transgender in 2022 and were shortly thereafter diagnosed with autism, they somehow managed to kick things up another notch. As they stepped into their truest self (usually in chunky black Doc Martens), their transition, unmasking, and shining authenticity brought us siblings even closer. Blake and Sydney's love for each other only grew. Many friendships evolved and flourished. For those who drifted apart, it was okay - Blake never had much sense of time and felt that many of those relationships would eventually return to them.

Each year with Blake was a gift, but these last couple of years where they got to really be themself were wildly special. The dresses, make-up, haircuts, plushies (shout-out to transfemme IKEA icon Blahaj), 3-D printing, continued interest in auto-mechanics, bonding over queerness and neurodivergence... getting to be a part of all this felt like a privilege no one could possibly deserve. It was such an honor to be a part of their blossoming.

Obviously, things weren't always sunshine and daisies. Blake struggled. The world, and those who should have loved and accepted them most unconditionally were cruel instead. How that was possible when Blake was clearly so much happier and such a caring soul only speaks to the level of dehumanization going on in our world today - to the forces that have shaped the way our birthparents and passerby chose to treat Blake and transgender people in general. I wish I could say that this cruelty surprised us, but we all knew that living out, proud, and unmasked would not be easy.

Blake fought so incredibly hard. I could write pages describing just how hard. We - Sydney, Sydney's family, us siblings, and countless amazing friends - loved on them as hard as we could and tried to help carry that burden. Every ounce of energy Blake had, they put towards trying to believe that they were good and deserving of a full, authentic life . Which of course they undeniably were. Still, this world eventually became too much for our beloved Blake.

We have said that Blake died by suicide. I wish our language had an alternative word for the truth, which is that our society - something you and I shape everyday - is what took Blake from us. Systems that are perpetuated by real life individuals, some of whom knew Blake and some who hold the highest office in the land. People who scapegoat vulnerable people for the purpose of power and appearances. Depression was simply a symptom of these forces that Blake did nothing to deserve.

As we hold Blake's spirit in our hearts, and as we go about our days crying and laughing at old text messages and remembering the dozens of projects we had hoped they'd help us with, the clock ticks on. Bills come due. Funeral costs, mental health care, lost wages, and of course the everyday expenses that Blake and Sydney had shared the weight of - housing, food, internet, and little joys like toys for Sesame and Anubis (the most loved cat duo you've ever met).

It's Sydney's wish to stay in the home they modified together about as much as any of Blake's "Frankenstein" vehicles, (although much easier on the eyes thanks to Sydney's touch). Blake's figurative and literal greasy fingerprints are everywhere, an endearing reminder of the sanctuary they created together, safe from the outside world, inclusive to all who were warmly welcomed.

Of course, all of this takes money.

How You Can Help

Here, we are asking you to help carry the load by making a donation. Donations will be used to support Sydney and family with funeral home and service costs, as well as Sydney's ongoing living expenses to help her stay in their home and get by. Blake had not been able to regularly work for awhile, so things have been tight. We are all rallying around Sydney and each other right now, and hope you'll join us at a service, share memories, be outspoken, and move money.

If you are able, please give what you can. Whether it's $5, $50, $500, or $5,000, every gift is exactly that - a gift that provides Syd a little breathing room to grieve, create a new vision for her future, and eventually take steps towards a new way of life. If you know Sydney, you know that she will treat each dollar with reverence.

If you would like to make additional donations in memory of Blake, they were very proud to receive high quality, accessible, ongoing gender-affirming care through Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains. A couple wonderful local organizations that support autistic people are Revel, Autism Society Colorado, and TACT.

Extra Special Help!

If making a monthly gift to Sydney would allow you to support above and beyond a one-time donation, please get in touch with her, me, or Ashley, and we can get that set up. (We couldn't find a platform that would facilitate recurring donations, but we have work-arounds.)

Lastly and importantly, if you are having suicidal thoughts or other difficulties you could use some help with, don't hesitate to reach out to us, day or night. Other resources are dialing 988 in crisis, The Center on Colfax, which has lots of great services for queer folks and families, and Heartlight Center, which has many free grief support groups.

Much love and appreciation. We are in this together.

BIG, BIG hugs.

Savanna Hanson (they/them; sibling of Blake)

Ashley Hanson (she/they; sibling of Blake)

Sydney Stetzel (she/her; wife of Blake)