Help Support Our Dena's Recovery
Donation protected
On February 26, our lives changed. As a mother, my heart sank as I sat beside my oldest daughter while we received the result findings of an MRI confirming a large tumor on her ovary. As parents, our first thought was, “I wish it was us instead of her.” We sat there in tears but hopeful knowing a major surgery was inevitable, future fertility was questionable and chemotherapy was highly likely. Amidst every emotion we felt, we tried our best to stay open minded, straight faced and strong for her. She’s always been a force to be reckoned with: strong, outgoing and resilient in everything she did. We didn’t want her to lose that light. She was very matter of fact about these findings, it needed to be removed “so lets do it,” she said. She was on a mission and we have been right beside her every step of the way. Approaching Dena’s surgery date, we learned the fallopian tube and ovary connected to the mass would be removed too. Leaving her with one, hopefully healthy one for future fertility as long as medical menopause wasn’t induced.
Dena went on to have surgery on March 8th, ironically, International Woman’s Day 2018 by a female oncology OBGYN surgeon she adores. She went in in the wee hours, for a laporascopic surgery with what she refers to as “a world renowned Di Vinci surgical robot” but ended up with 6 laporscopic incisions and to our surpise, a nearly 7-inch incision vertically down and around her belly button, too. The latter was neccessary to remove the mass. The preliminary plan was to drain the mass and remove it deflated from one of the laparoscopic incisions. During surgery, the Doctor learned the mass was not filled with liquid and at a size of a solid 18-cm, she wasn’t able to pull it through a small incision site. Corresponding fertility organs were removed as planned but while in recovery we learned the mass was in fact on the Left side instead of the Right as the MRI appeared to depict. In fact, the mass was so large the MRI did not even show where it was connecting to, the connective parts were under the mass completely. With a much longer and more invasive surgery, she was admitted overnight for pain management and released the following evening from CPMC SF. Post-op Dena showed us her determination and independence, weening herself from pain meds and educating herself on alternatives. She found comfort at home under our care, with her beloved dogs Bentley and Kona always by her side. As her wounds, muscles and spirit healed, she regained her strength a little more each day and eagerly looked forward to the pathology results from the biopsies taken during surgery.
Three weeks later, we were back in the Doctor’s office yet again. This time to determine what the next steps were and check her incisions. She was healing beautifully and we finally received the news we were all anticipating: she would indeed need an aggressive 9-week cycle of chemotherapy as there were cancer cells present in the mass. Though no one wants to hear the ‘c-word’ Dena’s tumor, formally known as dysgermanoma, despite its size was Stage 1 as it was not invasive and had not grown into her local lymphoids. Relieved by this, she reminded us to find gratitude in finding the large mass when we did. Dena reminds us daily, “it could be so much worse.” While some days are much better than others, her strength is amazing and inspiring for us to witness first hand. Shortly after that day, Dena surprised us all with her vulnerability as she shared her newest challenge with family and friends on social media. And immediately in response, she had such a powerful outpouring of support that lifted her spirits immensely. What a privilege it is to be surrounded by such a tribe of like minded, supportive individuals! She is so blessed.
We sat in the office the day of her official diagnosis post-op for another 4-hours in what they call Chemo-Teach; to learn about chemotherapy, the risks and potential, corresponding side effects. Boy are there a lot! We learned Dena was at risk for adverse effects such as: Leukemia, neuropathy in her extremities, anemia and the cancer stigmatizing hair loss. Her beautiful hair she had proudly been growing out for five years, she was strategically planning to style and dye finally for the Summer. She broke out into tears, I was devastated as was her dad but deep down I knew in comparison to her life, hair was nothing. In time I know she will prevail and it will grow back even more beautiful, maybe even curly or thicker, too! Still wrapping our heads around it all, we had so many questions, like: Why is her treatment plan so aggressive? If the tumor was gone now, is Chemo even really needed? I personally consulted my own physician and GYN who confirmed, “You just don’t take risks that like” which gave me hope for her to proceed with the chemotherapy. Dena consulted her other physicians too and the best explanation she received was: “Its similar to cleaning up a mess. When you spill something you wipe it up with a towel, that's the surgery. But to bleach to area as a disinfectant so nothing else grows, that’s the chemotherapy.”
Shortly after her diagnosis she started a blog to advocate and educate others as she found out quickly, she is not alone in this battle. The statistics she found touched her deeply and her journey became much bigger than just hers. This path is all too familiar for so many woman, many who aren’t so lucky with the emotional support she has or in finding their cancer in earlier stages with the odds in their favor. Dena graciously declined the Dignicap option, a freeze cap that could save 50% or more of her hair from falling out; and later a custom wig as offered by a local woman’s charity in SF. She felt strongly that both should be reserved for girls or woman alike who have much more severe forms of cancer or treatment for much longer than hers, that really want hair covering alternatives. She opted to shave her head this weekend as her hair has started to thin out, she couldn’t tolerate waking up to patches of hair on her pillow. To my surprise, she even opted to donate her braid. This journey for her has been more than physical, it’s been emotionally and mentally transformative. Though some days are better than others, after two scares and 18-hours total in ER visits in the last two weeks, her spirit still amazes me. She’s “biting the bullet” as my dad would say, “just do it, babe.” And she is. On her good days after treatments, we even take the time out together to venture around the city for a bite to eat or a nice drive. We both adore the city of San Francisco (minus the hills!) and share a love for the arts and architecture, its such a special time shared together regardless of the circumstances we still find so much joy together.
March 27th she had a second surgery to place a jugular port in her chest in preparation for chemotherapy infusions. With adverse effects of the dressing adhesives used, Dena's recovery for what should have been an outpatient procedure was a extended. On April 9th we officially began the chemotherapy journey at the Bryan Hemming Cancer Center of San Francisco to continue care directly under her surgeon and oncologist. Emotionally exhausted and anxious to ‘get it over with’ Dena’s sessions consist of 9 aggressive weeks of infusions and 3 different chemo drugs. Three cycles of three weeks each: Week One of each cycle being Monday through Friday (typically 9AM-4PM). Weeks 2 and 3, Mondays only. As we near the halfway point, our determined girl's medical bills are pilling in. To raise funds to offset the cost, Dena did what she does best and expanded her blog by creating a website with a Shop to sell her photo prints, tee shirts and handmade crafts. This week we learned as of May 4th her medical disability pay will stop and while we wait for an extension to be approved, there is no estimated timeline or definitive % she will receive for the duration of her disability from either the state or her employer. After much debate, I wanted to start this page to support her cause in the form of direct donations for those who wish to in this fashion instead. If you or your family have the means, no matter big or small, we so appreciate your continued support to assist in the offset of Dena’s medical responsibility so she can concentrate on her wellness and recovery. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all of your love during this character defining journey. As our girl says, “it takes a village” and because of you we are so blessed and much stronger together.
As I look at her bald, beautiful head typing this, I find hope in her beautiful smile as she shines from within. To my oldest daughter, love and pain, my artist Dena: I know this is just another chapter in your book of life. You we’re strong before this but you will be even stronger after this. You can overcome anything you set your mind to, you are so much stronger than you think. We love you!
Dena went on to have surgery on March 8th, ironically, International Woman’s Day 2018 by a female oncology OBGYN surgeon she adores. She went in in the wee hours, for a laporascopic surgery with what she refers to as “a world renowned Di Vinci surgical robot” but ended up with 6 laporscopic incisions and to our surpise, a nearly 7-inch incision vertically down and around her belly button, too. The latter was neccessary to remove the mass. The preliminary plan was to drain the mass and remove it deflated from one of the laparoscopic incisions. During surgery, the Doctor learned the mass was not filled with liquid and at a size of a solid 18-cm, she wasn’t able to pull it through a small incision site. Corresponding fertility organs were removed as planned but while in recovery we learned the mass was in fact on the Left side instead of the Right as the MRI appeared to depict. In fact, the mass was so large the MRI did not even show where it was connecting to, the connective parts were under the mass completely. With a much longer and more invasive surgery, she was admitted overnight for pain management and released the following evening from CPMC SF. Post-op Dena showed us her determination and independence, weening herself from pain meds and educating herself on alternatives. She found comfort at home under our care, with her beloved dogs Bentley and Kona always by her side. As her wounds, muscles and spirit healed, she regained her strength a little more each day and eagerly looked forward to the pathology results from the biopsies taken during surgery.
Three weeks later, we were back in the Doctor’s office yet again. This time to determine what the next steps were and check her incisions. She was healing beautifully and we finally received the news we were all anticipating: she would indeed need an aggressive 9-week cycle of chemotherapy as there were cancer cells present in the mass. Though no one wants to hear the ‘c-word’ Dena’s tumor, formally known as dysgermanoma, despite its size was Stage 1 as it was not invasive and had not grown into her local lymphoids. Relieved by this, she reminded us to find gratitude in finding the large mass when we did. Dena reminds us daily, “it could be so much worse.” While some days are much better than others, her strength is amazing and inspiring for us to witness first hand. Shortly after that day, Dena surprised us all with her vulnerability as she shared her newest challenge with family and friends on social media. And immediately in response, she had such a powerful outpouring of support that lifted her spirits immensely. What a privilege it is to be surrounded by such a tribe of like minded, supportive individuals! She is so blessed.
We sat in the office the day of her official diagnosis post-op for another 4-hours in what they call Chemo-Teach; to learn about chemotherapy, the risks and potential, corresponding side effects. Boy are there a lot! We learned Dena was at risk for adverse effects such as: Leukemia, neuropathy in her extremities, anemia and the cancer stigmatizing hair loss. Her beautiful hair she had proudly been growing out for five years, she was strategically planning to style and dye finally for the Summer. She broke out into tears, I was devastated as was her dad but deep down I knew in comparison to her life, hair was nothing. In time I know she will prevail and it will grow back even more beautiful, maybe even curly or thicker, too! Still wrapping our heads around it all, we had so many questions, like: Why is her treatment plan so aggressive? If the tumor was gone now, is Chemo even really needed? I personally consulted my own physician and GYN who confirmed, “You just don’t take risks that like” which gave me hope for her to proceed with the chemotherapy. Dena consulted her other physicians too and the best explanation she received was: “Its similar to cleaning up a mess. When you spill something you wipe it up with a towel, that's the surgery. But to bleach to area as a disinfectant so nothing else grows, that’s the chemotherapy.”
Shortly after her diagnosis she started a blog to advocate and educate others as she found out quickly, she is not alone in this battle. The statistics she found touched her deeply and her journey became much bigger than just hers. This path is all too familiar for so many woman, many who aren’t so lucky with the emotional support she has or in finding their cancer in earlier stages with the odds in their favor. Dena graciously declined the Dignicap option, a freeze cap that could save 50% or more of her hair from falling out; and later a custom wig as offered by a local woman’s charity in SF. She felt strongly that both should be reserved for girls or woman alike who have much more severe forms of cancer or treatment for much longer than hers, that really want hair covering alternatives. She opted to shave her head this weekend as her hair has started to thin out, she couldn’t tolerate waking up to patches of hair on her pillow. To my surprise, she even opted to donate her braid. This journey for her has been more than physical, it’s been emotionally and mentally transformative. Though some days are better than others, after two scares and 18-hours total in ER visits in the last two weeks, her spirit still amazes me. She’s “biting the bullet” as my dad would say, “just do it, babe.” And she is. On her good days after treatments, we even take the time out together to venture around the city for a bite to eat or a nice drive. We both adore the city of San Francisco (minus the hills!) and share a love for the arts and architecture, its such a special time shared together regardless of the circumstances we still find so much joy together.
March 27th she had a second surgery to place a jugular port in her chest in preparation for chemotherapy infusions. With adverse effects of the dressing adhesives used, Dena's recovery for what should have been an outpatient procedure was a extended. On April 9th we officially began the chemotherapy journey at the Bryan Hemming Cancer Center of San Francisco to continue care directly under her surgeon and oncologist. Emotionally exhausted and anxious to ‘get it over with’ Dena’s sessions consist of 9 aggressive weeks of infusions and 3 different chemo drugs. Three cycles of three weeks each: Week One of each cycle being Monday through Friday (typically 9AM-4PM). Weeks 2 and 3, Mondays only. As we near the halfway point, our determined girl's medical bills are pilling in. To raise funds to offset the cost, Dena did what she does best and expanded her blog by creating a website with a Shop to sell her photo prints, tee shirts and handmade crafts. This week we learned as of May 4th her medical disability pay will stop and while we wait for an extension to be approved, there is no estimated timeline or definitive % she will receive for the duration of her disability from either the state or her employer. After much debate, I wanted to start this page to support her cause in the form of direct donations for those who wish to in this fashion instead. If you or your family have the means, no matter big or small, we so appreciate your continued support to assist in the offset of Dena’s medical responsibility so she can concentrate on her wellness and recovery. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all of your love during this character defining journey. As our girl says, “it takes a village” and because of you we are so blessed and much stronger together.
As I look at her bald, beautiful head typing this, I find hope in her beautiful smile as she shines from within. To my oldest daughter, love and pain, my artist Dena: I know this is just another chapter in your book of life. You we’re strong before this but you will be even stronger after this. You can overcome anything you set your mind to, you are so much stronger than you think. We love you!
Organizer
Donna Helling
Organizer
Alameda, CA