My father passed away from cancer complications on February 16th, 2023. I am creating this GoFundMe to help my mom with his end-of-life and funeral expenses. They would have been married 40 years this October and were both enjoying their golden years together. It’s hard to believe just this time last year he was fine before his 11-month-long decline.
The Journey:
My dad was a very private person, he was not one to share his health burdens with those around him, always trying to look on the bright side. Starting in March 2022, he suffered a major back injury. This started my dad’s health woes as his quality of life was completely impacted. My folks went through a few different doctors before finding a treatment plan that would get him back on his feet while being as non-invasive as possible. But this involved multiple hospital visits. During this time, they made adjustments to their home to help accommodate his new physical limits as well as increase ease of access. All of this was on their fixed income, but it was worth it.
My dad started his back treatments and by August he was able to walk unassisted and started feeling like his old self. The simple pleasure of being able to ride in the car, go grocery shopping, and being able to sit was very much appreciated for the freedom it brought and no longer being in pain.
However, during this time of multiple doctor visits and testing, it revealed a new, horrible problem.
The doctors found two lumps, which turned out to be cancerous. We received this devastating news in October 2022. His hometown general practitioner referred him down to UW Medical Center in Seattle. Over the next month, my folks traveled to Seattle to begin his new treatment plan. The first stage of the plan took place in early December 2022 in Seattle, and in the time it took to receive the results, reschedule due to ice storms, and confirm the next step, his prognosis had changed.
The cancer had grown too rapidly and had become too aggressive. My dad lived a life full of love and laughter, and after weighing their options of what was now available, it was decided that he was unable to continue with their original plan to fight the cancer.
In January his doctors warned both of my folks that he would not make it to see 2024 but were unable to provide a better estimate of what time we had left. By the end of January, more medical issues started to come forward as the cancer continued to grow. The second week of February was their last emergency visit to the hospital, and they were told that nothing could be done. They were told to go home and wait for Hospice to call.
Hospice arrived Tuesday, February 14th, and helped both my mom and dad with the end-of-life necessities. I cannot say enough thankful things about those amazing nurses and support personnel. They were there emotionally and physically for my parents during this heart-wrenching time. The compassion and kindness they showed have meant the world to me.
My dad’s final wish was to be surrounded by love and comfort. He spent his remaining days in the home they built together while my mom was pregnant with me. He passed away Thursday, February 16th at 8:30 AM with my mom by his side.
Moving forward
My mom has been taking care of my dad for the last year, and previously to that, he took care of her during her knee replacement surgery in 2021. They’ve dipped into their emergency savings with the hope of many more years together after his back injury was healed. Unfortunately, the cost of caring for a loved one once they have passed and respecting their wishes carries unexpected expenses. This is staggering while trying to process our emotions and grief. My father did not have life insurance and it is my hope to help my mom through this difficult transition.
Remembering my dad
My dad was born and raised in Bellingham, WA. He made friends wherever he went, be it at the collectible car shows or playing shuffleboard. He knew how to tell a story that would have everyone laughing by the end. His work ethic was admirable for his 35-year career out at Cherry Point refinery. He won many chili cookoff competitions and enjoyed BBQing for his friends and family. If you wish to honor his memory, please consider donating, or treat yourself to a cup of black coffee and a doughnut - one of his personal favorites.
We are currently planning for an early March service in Bellingham, WA. Details to come.
