Hi, I'm Peggy, and I never...ever...thought I would be in this predicament. I am humbly requesting contributions to cover my disabled brother Bob’s and my caregiver needs, and my needs for the coming months while I undergo radiation treatment for a spinal cord tumor. Despite my best efforts, Bob and I are out of resources. He continues to require 24/7 care, which is very costly. And, while I normally require only limited care myself, I am facing 5-6 weeks of treatment for my tumor, which will add to my need for caregiver services and incur transportation costs, and possibly housing costs, that I cannot afford.

My brother, Bob, has lived with me for 18 years, and as his physical health and mental health have declined, I have taken care of him. However, since my second (failed) surgery to remove a benign tumor from my spinal cord in 2021, I have been in a wheelchair and have not been able to care for him physically. So, we need caregivers around the clock, which costs more than our combined (and fixed) monthly incomes.

I recently learned that my residual tumor is growing again. It is wrapped around and compressing my spinal cord, and my leg function is deteriorating. The recommended solution is radiation therapy 5 days a week for 5-6 weeks to stop the tumor’s growth. Doctors have indicated that if I do not have treatment, I will lose all function below the waist. They have encouraged me to start treatment soon. Treatment at either UC San Francisco (with highly ranked spine and cancer centers), or in San Diego (where perhaps the best type of treatment for avoiding long-term radiation effects is available), would incur thousands of dollars in additional costs for housing, food, transportation and services of an additional caregiver that I would need. (My costs would be higher than usual due to my wheelchair status…I require an ADA-accessible room and can only get in and out of certain vehicles, etc.) Treatment in Sacramento, where I live, is possible and would be less expensive and most convenient, but would still incur additional (primarily caregiver) costs. And, the type of treatment available may not be the best option in terms of avoiding undesirable side effects during and after radiation. I am continuing to look into the treatments, costs and logistics for each location, but need to decide soon where to be treated. The lack of resources is an important factor.

More about Bob: Bob has had health issues for much of his life. He has been bedridden and on continuous supplemental oxygen for the past three years. He suffered a mild stroke in 2019, and a mild heart attack in 2020 followed by congestive heart disease. He must use inhalers and a nebulizer to keep his airways open. He also deals with other medical issues and requires strong pain meds most days when his leg pain fires up. Despite all of this Bob is amazingly resilient, and I am committed to taking care of him.

More about me: As many of you know, I have been in a wheelchair since my 2021 tumor surgery at UCSF. Despite substantial physical therapy, I still cannot stand on my own or take more than a few difficult steps with a walker. But at least I can scooch around in my wheelchair using my legs (mainly my right leg…the left leg mostly goes along for the ride). So, I need to retain the function that I currently have. Also, last year I lost my right eye to ocular melanoma…a relatively rare cancer. Fortunately, no metastases have shown up so far. But, they can appear up to 10 or 15 years later, so I am in a surveillance program to monitor for metastases. To be clear, my eye situation is not adding to my costs; it just poses some additional challenges.

More about our situation: As you may or may not be aware, in the U.S. the middle class is in a difficult situation when it comes to long-term care. Those with accumulated wealth can pay the costs, and low-income individuals can obtain Medi-Cal (Medicaid) and related care. Bob does not quite qualify for Medi-Cal, and neither of us meets the requirements for other potentially helpful programs. I have long-term care insurance that covers a portion of my care, but it is not enough and cannot be used for Bob. So, we fall into the “in-between” group that struggles to pay caregiver costs and some medical costs. This has resulted in us needing to use all our resources in recent years. I cannot complain – I have a pension and social security – but the outflow has been much higher than our incomes, so we are in debt and I am struggling to pay the bills.

I would like to keep my home as long as I can, and Bob and I both want to live here as long as we can. And, I just cannot deal with selling my home and moving right now. (I have already re-financed it several times in recent years, and consequently, a reverse mortgage or home equity loan are not viable options.) Additionally, placing Bob into a facility is not currently an option due to necessary lead times and admission rules, and costs for someone with his extensive needs. I would greatly appreciate financial help so I can get through my treatments and pay our caregivers for the next few months, and then be able to better deal with any necessary changes in the future.

So, I would sincerely appreciate any donations that you may be able to contribute. But, I want you to know, I deeply value my friendships and relationships with all of my friends, relatives, and colleagues, and will continue to do so regardless of whether you contribute or not. The moral support and friendship that you have all shared with me over the years are more valuable than any monetary gift could be. I feel truly blessed to have so many wonderful friends. And, for those of you who donate but whom I have not yet met, I deeply appreciate your empathy and generosity and hope that someday we might meet.

If you can contribute, I offer my deepest gratitude. You can donate through GoFundMe (anonymously if you prefer). Or feel free to contact me directly. And, please share my link and story with others you know who may be willing and able to contribute. Thank you, so very much, and may God bless you.