Please help *STACY & HATTIE* keep the HOME my parents built—35 years of LOVE, sweat, and one last promise I made to my MOM to fulfill her WISH to die at home.

Help me buy my parents' HOME-the one I preserved through unpaid care for Mom.

***HOW YOUR SUPPORT HELPS ME***

My siblings want $340,000*update to sell. I want to buy it—not for profit, for PEACE, STABILITY, TO BUILD AND HEAL. So, I have some sense of security-to regain my footing-start to secure my life financially again.

I’M ASKING FOR $340,000*update. To buy out siblings' shares at fair market value, cover closing costs, and give me stability. Funds go directly to purchasing the home (or related costs).

If we don't reach the full amount, *every dollar helps* with legal fees, temporary housing-rebuilding credit/security. No donation is too small.

~~Hi friends,

For the last 5 years, I gave up my life to devote myself to keep MOM in the HOME she and DAD built with their own hands in 1991.

I promised her she'd die at home, surrounded by LOVE—not in a facility. I held her hand as she passed *PEACEFULLY* in February 2025. Now, to honor that promise-rebuild my own life, I need help keeping this HOME.

It's extremely hard for me to ask for this much help & I am embarrassed to share my life but I only *pray* that it helps others to not land in my same situation.

***STACY***

I'm Stacy. I'm unmarried, 50 years old with no children. I have a sweet fur baby named *HATTIE KAY*. She's a 3-year-old toy cockalier-3/4 cocker spaniel and 1/4 King Charles cavalier.

She is my life. MOM loved her pretty girl. A friend gifted Hattie to mom and I after a serious hospital stay and I will say she's the best thing that happened to us. She made MOM smile so much.

After DAD passed away in 2021, I dedicated my life to MOM and my FAMILY to keep her in our family home so she didn't have to be moved into a facility. That was her wish.

***MOM AND DAD | FAMILY LEGACY***

Mom and Dad were married in 1975 and built a BEAUTIFUL LIFE together-four kids, twelve grandkids, and a house full of animals over the years. In 1991, they built this home with their own hands, on hard work and love. Dad was the hardest working man I've ever known, so much overtime to provide for us, Mom stretching every dollar, running us all around town and making sure us kids were *HAPPY*. They did whatever it took to provide for us to give us this WONDERFUL LIFE.

***MOM***

Mom had been disabled for years-end stage COPD, wore oxygen continuously for almost 8 years, severe chronic pain, chair bound, agoraphobia, her depression and anxiety hit bad after dad was gone. DAD WAS MOMS WHOLE WORLD. She declined rapidly after we lost him. From that point on, she would have been in a high care facility monitoring her needs 24/7 with skilled nurses.

We lost DAD in August 2021 from Covid, I had moved back into the family HOME in May 2021 for a few months-just to figure out where I was going to go next. I’d just come back from St. Cloud, ended a relationship & started renting a space for my boutique. I was in the process of moving into a townhome but decided it was best I stay with MOM until we figured out where she was going to go, sell the house & take care of all the things that go with that. I told myself it was temporary—until we figured out the details. HERE I AM 5 YEARS LATER. With nothing.

***CAREGIVING JOURNEY***

I could barely leave the house-I would arrange my sister to sit with her or my 21-year-old nephew who lived with us. My parents had been raising him since he was about 14. It was hard to get my sister over much-she has a husband who is dying from stage 4 cancer, a disabled daughter she cares for & she has a disability herself so she struggles with chronic pain & trouble walking. She has a lot on her plate.

When I was gone, MOM would text & ask questions or ask when I would be home. She never wanted me to leave. I had her on emergency bypass, so I was on call all the time. The text & calls at night were the worst. Even though I was downstairs in my room, it was too far from her. Most nights I just slept on the couch by her with Hattie because it was easier & she slept better.

Since I didn’t leave much, I poured myself into the HOME & yard: caring for it as it were my own. Gardening, planting flowers, watering everything. MOM always told me how DAD would do it so I did it the way she wanted it. The YARD is my FAVORITE thing about this HOME-I spend a lot of time making it beautiful. I had a pool in the summer so it would be my relaxing time.

We gradually purged over 34 years of FAMILY things. I spend so much time going through the house-organizing, cleaning tossing, donating-making it nicer for mom. I have also continued to do this for a year since mom has been gone to help my family.

Mom’s main caregiving part wasn’t just meds, breathing treatments, meals-it was the social side as well: not leaving her alone, us spending time together.

We watched A LOT of TV. Hallmark, The Waltons, all the firefighter & cop shows. For some reason she also loved Fear Factor. I did not! She loved cutting coupons, buying gifts for all her grandchildren, loved snuggling with HATTIE.

I was her 24/7 everything—her DAUGHTER her nurse, her cook, her cleaner, her home aide, her gardener, her home maintenance, her project manager, her errand runner, cleaning gal, her appointment maker, her medication manager, her oxygen manager, laundry lady, her companion and more.

She would’ve needed two skilled RNs-one day, one night-plus a nurse’s aide, landscapers, maintenance people. I did it mostly alone, with very little outside help. Mom didn’t want to pay anyone, and family? They had busy lives—jobs, kids, homes, their own stuff. They couldn’t do much-we understood. So, it was mostly me.

Dad’s yard was his pride—he was retired, so every nice day he’d be out there planting, trimming, playing in the garage, going on his long walks, growing flowers-like they were his kids.

Winters he shoveled snow, cleared ice, hung Christmas lights, he’s the one who maintained the home & took care of mom. Dad wanted to downsize but mom always got her way so they stayed here. It was a lot of work for dad. A lot.

I carried out her wish: she wanted to die here, at home, surrounded by family. And she did-February 2025, while I held her hand, hospice guiding me. I gave her hospice meds, she was surrounded by family, until she slipped away. *PEACEFULLY*. Beautiful. No pain.

I went *unpaid* to care for mom. At first, I was still trying to work my business, but because of mom's level of care I couldn't focus on myself. I had a space I rented to work out of, but I could barely leave mom so I closed that space down. Over 25 years I built something I was proud of-I've lost it all. I attempted to get paid by the county but her income/assets were too large for us to qualify. We would have had to put a lien on the home so medical could collect after she passed. Family didn't approve of me getting paid to care for mom.

I am the only reason this house still stands—I will stand behind that forever. We would’ve had to sell it, put her in a nursing home & her level of care would’ve burned through every dollar she had in her name. All of her monthly income would go to the facility & she would be left with $138 for her personal spending. My parents didn't have much. Can you believe that care costs anywhere from 15-$25,000 a month!

Also, after 2 years of providing nursing home level care, through Medicaid a home can transfer into the caregiver’s name. Mom wanted everything split equally among us four kids, even though I was the one who kept the home standing-prevented massive care costs.

We were never wealthy—just this home. Not a big fancy house. It needs a lot of work, but it's about my financial stability and security that I need. A roof over my head for Hattie and I.

***SACRIFICES AND STRUGGLES***

I gave up my life, lost years of building credit, friendships, social life, vacations, even the chance to buy anything—like a new car. I don’t qualify to purchase anything because of the years of unpaid work and have had no financial help for my transition. I gave up myself. I lost myself. Shut down my boutique, lost every promotion, Social Security, years of growth. Effected my health-Osteoarthritis wrecked my hands—had to delay both thumb surgeries for years because no one could care for mom full time. My body’s paying for it now.

Currently, I’m relying on food stamps, medical assistance, on waiting lists for Section 8-considered homeless by the state. A month ago, I hired an attorney with whatever scraps I had left, but I can’t keep going. It’ll cost too much, delay probate forever, risk losing the house or any money tied up in the estate. I just want this all over. I have had to *fight for my security, safety, stability* for the past year- it’s destroyed me.

After years of *contributing my life for my family* I need support-understanding.

I’ve suffered severe mental health issues from stress.

I ended up being hospitalized for suicide ideation & was in full time outpatient therapy for 3 months. Diagnosed with PTSD, trauma induced panic attacks, social anxiety disorder that prevents me from leaving the home at times, depression, anxiety and nightmare disorder. Still receiving therapy twice, a week. I’m still shaking, still trying to work, still working on getting my life back.

The plan was to purchase the home with my boyfriend, but with hurt, devastation from the stress, it's caused a lot of pain between us. We are actively working on us, but I have no idea what’s going to happen. It is crazy the amount of trauma I have had to deal with over the last 5 years. ***I'M PROUD OF MYSELF*** for still standing. It is the hardest job in the world taking care of a chronically ill parent & the home. I have no idea how I did it all, but I'm *GRATEFUL* for all the people that *SUPPORT* me-*LIFT ME UP*. I don't know what I would do without you. Russ, Cheri, Gandy, Debbie, Momma Auntie, Ellie & Hattie.

I would step in & take care of MOMMA all over again, but I would make sure I was taken care of in return & set better boundaries for me.

Caregiving doesn’t end when they die—it stretches on. I have to rebuild my life from scratch: no credit, no ability to purchase anything, no way to reestablish myself. I have been stuck in this unknown world while waiting for the probate process, living out of boxes for 5 years.

I just want to be me again. Have the *STRENGTH* to work, breathe, move forward. This HOUSE is what I need to help me heal-make my life whole again.

I feel *INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL* that I was able to hold both my parents’ hands as they left us. That’s the biggest *BLESSING* I’ve ever been given.

That was my purpose in life—to be here. Now I’m trying to find my purpose again. ******LOVE YOU MOM & DAD.

Every bit helps me.

Please. From someone who gave everything-***THANK YOU!

I appreciate everyone who read this-I hope I can help those that have been in similar situations someday.

*Share this if you know a caregiver who's struggled. Your support means the world *Hattie Kay* and I as we try to find purpose again. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

**God is good & he will make a way**

Stacy & Hattie *woof*

Tiedemann

Rosemount, Minnesota

****I also have v e n m o, p a y p a l and c a s h a p p with no fees.

V e n m o @stacys-pink-martini-boutique

P a y p a l @stacytiedemann

C a s h a p p $stacytiedemann

Support Stacy: Save the Home I Preserved Honoring Mom's Dying Wish

Mom stayed home with us when we were little & started working when we were all in school. She was a pharmacy technician before she retired on disability.

Dad was an Army Veteran & served in Vietnam. He supported the POW Prisoners of War. He also served during the time of Agent Orange. He retired from Silgan a company he worked for all our lives. 

Family, emergency crisis, oldest daughter, home, help, donate, give, prayers, care giver, parents, death, dogs, mom, copd, hospice, life, career, journey, God, hummingbirds, eagles, flowers, yard, veteran, pow, fort Snelling

, army, Hattie, hat trick, hockey, gardening.