hi, it's brian. wanna tell you something.

It's been two years since my mom Maddie died, 18 DEC 2023 .. me and my dad Sherwood were planning to go visit her at the cemetery .. our new holiday tradition, lately, these past 730 days.

Just to keep it real, her absence has been a hole in the family — on her golden retriever hammy, on her husband, on her second-born son, on her firstborn son.

Gonna say more, gonna say a lotta things .. but the main thing is, we were not prepared, still. Over this Thanksgiving weekend, unexpectedly, suddenly, after a 9-1-1 stay at the hospital,

SHERWOOD YEE died in the Intensive Care Unit, on Wednesday, 3 DEC 2025, at 1:10PM ..

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<< HUMBLY .. >>

I kno that we already came to you, two years ago, asking for help. and here we are again ..

I kno that the economy has changed much, too. Job reports are not good, etc. Money is stretched, and it’s the holiday season. But here we are again; so sorry ..

Both parents have passed away, and this changes everything. Don’t kno what to do .. Lotta question marks to straighten out .. maybe you could help.

‘Help’ in our context, might mean: you’d be lending a hand, as we keep the ship afloat, at least for a few months into 2026, as we try to figure things out.

so many things .. like, the holiday season, taxes, rules and laws, bundle of rights, burden of title, mortgage and property tax, county regulations, cemetery packages, transportation of dad’s remains, waiting periods, logistics communications, cremation permit, urn engraving, death certificates, fees, ca taxes, social security, banking, dmv forms, more hopeless job seeking — just, you know: the sorrow. general life direction ? with no parental opinion .. cleaning up, boxing up, giving up their worldly possessions ..

Grief is tiring. like: the body gets tired. It just wants to sleep. (I kno, you know this). Spent this last week sleeping, and gathering some thoughts. Worked my way up, passed the guilt, in the gut, that comes with gathering guts to ask again, with palms up.

(last morning, outside, I saw a baby snail, slithering a wavy trail, halfway up the garage back door. after examining its translucent shell, i found a gentle stick, carefully peeled the baby snail away from nowhere and placed it along the fence-highway ? to somewhere ..)

If you can donate some change, any amount would be appreciated. No pressure, tho. Thoughts & shares are equally welcome .. I recognize that we’re all livin’ in the same mad, mad, mad, mad world.

joy, too. important to say that, seek it ☀️

To mourn a father, while still mourning a mother ? To not get to sit with either of them during the sunset of a life, eclipsed ? like,

woe. honestly, it all feels wild to me. but: since my mom Maddie, and then my friend Ryan Connolly (16 JUL 2025), and now my dad Sherwood, i’m ..

trying to keep the mind present, on reality, on forward leaning, letting go. been on it: since 2020 ? when earth changed all 'round, everybody. just: another new chapter, of cleaning up previous chapters; another new beginning, just: Reality. keep it real, make it thru. right ? plenty of wet eyes, still, for my mother. All the grief books i’ve been reading since she died, tells me to keep it real, make it thru .. face the music.

To know someone; To know the memory of someone, in the mind's eye, in the heart. RIP maddie, RIP ryan, RIP sherwood.

RIP to any loved one, in your life, now in death. Thank you for your time, and mind space. There’s more, if it interests you:

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<< TL;DR >>

You don’t have to read it tho. I just wanted to say it. For Dad.

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<< 9-1-1 EMERGENCY >>

On Thanksgiving night, after 9:30PM, I had to call 9-1-1 for Dad .. He had been resting in bed, trying to nap. His breathing was sped up. We asked if he felt short of breath. He was running a fever.

Sherwood said, “I’m okay” like always .. There was a short, wheezing cough. Called the advice nurse. The first responders arrived and helped take him to the emergency room ..

.. outside, front porch steps — the golden retriever hammy, me, and randy — stark cold november night, the moon out. we watched Dad get driven away in a medical truck .. and that was how that evening unfolded, wtf ..

.. sat in the same ER room that Mom was in on the day that I called 9-1-1 for her.

* * *

<< SHERWOOD YEE, WIKI >>

Dad (né Sherwood Yee) was born in San Francisco, CA. He was always reading the newspaper. Probably the sports section first.

He went to Francisco Middle School where he met Russell Ng, Edwards Lew, Paul Lee, Terry Louie, Phil Tom. After that, Galileo High School (Class of 1971) where he met Mike Woo, Wally Lee, Harry Lew. After that, he did some classes at City College of SF.

In 1972, he studied Automotive Technology at College of Alameda; Wally Lee went there too, dad would say. Sherwood failed the final test in 1975, the smog testing section.

For two summers, he worked for the Coast Guard, at Yerba Buena Island; met his friend Patricia Chan there.

From 1979 to 2010, Sherwood worked as a circulation district manager for 31 years at the San Francisco Chronicle Newspaper. Names I’d hear him say, from this era of his life: Georgia, Harry Gong, Tyrone Wong, Norman Lee, Melvin Louie, Joe Richardson Rigsbee. He also worked with Albert Jang, Maddie’s cousin. Whenever I asked dad, Hey do you remember any dreams, lately ? He’d say he had one about work at the SF Chronicle.

Sherwood was an athletic guy, drove a motorcycle in his day (that’s why him and my mom always had helmets in the garage, yellow, orange). Played softball; his codename was Woody.

He was a sports guy, with Anna (maddie's mom), yelling at the tv during niners games giants games warriors games; hat, starter jacket parka, had it all. He even did choy lay fut style kung fu; and he played tennis.

He was a good dad, funny. My brother pointed out to me that Dad and him would make jokes and annoy Mom with their ridiculous laughter, ha. After school, in his grey Toyota Corolla (E90), Sherwood would always take us to 7-Eleven for coke slurpee drinks and funyuns “onion rings”.

Sherwood was always in the garage checking the oil, changing the oil, checking tire pressure, putting something away in the tool box, under a jack repairing a car, mowing the lawn (1980s, 90s), sweeping leaf litter.

After the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake, he walked in from the garage, asked: Did someone run up the stairs ? ha. meanwhile we were literally covered beneath the red, felted pool table. the swimming pool was king tide and sneaker wave.

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<< SHERWOOD FAMILY TREE >>

Growing up, I knew all of Maddie’s family, both sides — funny, tho: didn't kno much about Sherwood's. Dad’s mom, Fong Toy Har, died when I was lil’. His dad, Fay Woo Yee, died in Canton China.

Dad was the youngest of four; we never knew any of the three.

“Dad, how come you don’t talk about your brother and sisters ?”

His always-reply: “I don’t know, I just don’t.”

Growing up, I always wondered how Dad got his name. He’d always answer, I’m not sure; It’s just the name they gave me. (as kid: the only other sherwood i'd heard of was the forest in robin hood stories and the opening credit, on brady bunch tv episodes, after school, "created by sherwood schwartz").

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<< SHERWOOD WITH MADDIE >>

Everything changed for Sherwood Yee, when he met Madeline Jean Tong.

Mom always told the story like this: “I was trying to talk to your dad’s friend. But then I met your dad.”

“The first time he came to meet me, he ran away because he heard Mickey barking.” ha. Mickey was Maddie’s german shepherd from when she lived at home with Anna and Henry, in San Francisco, near grace cathedral, at 4 Golden Court, down the narrow alley of cement houses, behind dense foliage and dark shadow; spooky ? was always a mystery-adventure, descending the path.

They rode a motorcycle, then they got married on 14 FEB 1981. Had children in ‘83 and ‘85.

Some knew him as Poke, or Pokey. It was a term of endearment ♥️ that mom gave dad. (as kid: the only other pokey i'd heard of was friends with gumby). According to Maddie, it was short for ‘slowpoke’ because he was often lagging behind us when we walked around Disneyland, or Knott’s. (but also: he was probably, most liiikely, carrying her stuff; or randy’s stuff; or my stuff; all our stuff, ha. dads. mom ran the show, let’s just say).

They were a team, always going out — to things, to people, to places, different cities, “different states;” or tae kwon do tournaments, kung fu tournaments; out to hike, to walk the dog, to eat somewhere; to the craft fair, to the county fair, to the street fair.

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<< SHERWOOD WITHOUT MADDIE >>

When Mom died, I saw that without her, Dad appeared lost .. I came to summarize it as: Maddie was the musical conductor, and Sherwood followed her rhythm and dynamics. She took care of him in the later years, the 2020 years. I took over as his family caregiver.

Sherwood Yee was the dad of Hammy, Maddie’s golden retriever. Hammy used to sleep on their cozy bed between them.

After Maddie died, I made sure Hammy still slept in the bed with Sherwood, to keep their sense of “normal routine.”

When Sherwood was in the hospital before his passing, big ol’ hammy looked like a tiny donut cat in the middle of a large bed, dark, cold .. a symbol of an uncertain future ..

<< MEDICAL TIMELINE >>

Dad’s medical history was complicated; see if i can get it. been taking notes, for years. It’s the only way to understand what the heck happened that lead up to thanksgiving night, 2025.

** 1997 — Age 44 — colonoscopy — benign polyps removed.

** 2012 — Age 59 — Sherwood didn’t wake up in the morning, from bed; Maddie called 9-1-1

Found out there was some kind of encephalopathy happening on the left side of his brain, in his case, perhaps encephalitis, a rare but serious condition that causes the brain to swell due to inflammation.

The neurology team worked out a dosage regiment of prednisone, a cortico-steroid medication used to decrease inflammation. It helped get him back to doing all his normal daily activities.

They never officially named the condition, or disease. Even tho it was like encephalitis, they usually used that broader word, encephalopathy. We usually called it the “brain swelling” or “brain scarring” and that Dad needed daily steroid medicine to manage it.

Sherwood and Maddie continued their adventures like normal.

** 2013 — Age 60 — Sherwood had a hard time getting up in the morning again; slurred speech; random words to Mom. Maddie called 9-1-1.

The neurology team worked out a different dosage regiment of prednisone.

Also, had a hospital-stay, internal bleeding. Colonoscopy — Benign ulcers removed.

** 2014 to 2019 — Many MRI scans to observe the brain swelling; bone density tests.

Sherwood and Maddie continued their outings.

** 2020 — Age 67 — Potentially wean down the dosage from prednisone ? The encephalopathy happening on the left side of his brain affects his right side, walking. His walk has evolved into a shorter stride.

** 2021 — Age 68 — Fell from Hammy pulling forward on the leash, to escape an aggressive dog.

** 2022 — Age 68 — FEB — Fell from heat exhaustion during his daily walk; dehydrated. Legs gave out — good samaritan returned him home. He had walked many miles out ?

The neurologist said that when Sherwood gets tired, maybe due to the brain scarring, the logic and thinking to rest, to drink water, to return home — kind of gets forgotten, or jumbled. His legs get weak. They want to potentially increase the dosage of the prednisone.

Began outpatient physical therapy and speech therapy.

** 2022 — Age 69 — AUG — Fell from heat exhaustion during his daily walk again; dehydrated. Legs gave out — good samaritan returned him home. He had walked many miles out ?

Continued the physical therapy and speech therapy.

I encouraged Sherwood to do his walk exercises in the backyard, along the path. No more walking out and about by himself. I designed routes for him to follow.

** 2023 — Age 70 — The encephalopathy happening on the left side of his brain still affects his right side, walking. His walk had evolved into a shuffle.

** 2023 — DEC — Maddie died.

**2024 — JAN — Tried my best to keep Dad motivated with a sense routine, with daily chores, duty. “Keep Hammy company while I’m at work, Dad.”

I realized right away that I had to become Sherwood’s caregiver. As Maddie was that person for him, the duty had transferred to me. So I mentally switched over from Mom’s medical manager to Dad’s medical manager.

Continued to cook for Sherwood. Re-taught him the process of how to make a fried egg for himself in the mornings. Took over doing his laundry because without a walker, he was always off-balance, not safe.

(i moved back to my parents’ house during late-covid 2020 after i lost my full-time job, to work and re-stack chips, then move back out. became their casual cook. wanted to make sure they ate more whole foods, vegetables, proteins, less “canned and frozen and hyper processed” goods (bads) .. i mean: we were living with metastatic lung cancer. we had to eat right, right ? “Mom: I’m not saying you can’t eat fruity pebbles for dinner anymore; but will you please also eat a plate of food-food too ?..”)

Overall, Sherwood lost interest in reading & watching their TV shows. Mostly tended to his sports tv, including lotta tennis tv. And eating. Still loved to eat. Got him to keep a food journal, to practice writing and documenting the day and date. Got him started on word search puzzles too, for “brain games.” Maddie had tried him on app brain games; but those flashy adverts always lead Dad astray from the mission.

**2024 — JAN / FEB — Urinary incontinence started happening. This changed things. We had to teach each other how to manage the accidents. I used liners on the sofa, the chairs. I designated alarms on his phone as “bathroom reminders”. I introduced the notion of using a loose, disposable pad. That was tough for him to do correctly, regularly.

Instead, I introduced the notion of disposable underwear, to be worn beneath the Hanes. We never spoke about it in a shameful manner; I never used that other word that people use for disposable under garments. He and I always called it, “the guard”. Hey, check the guard, all good ? Check the guard, is it wet ? I told him: Hey man, we all get old and it’ll happen to all of us. I taught him how to put on his clothes in this new form. I bought him a few grabber tools to keep around vital areas of the house.

**2024 — WINTER TO SPRING — There were a couple times that I returned from work, to no Sherwood in sight. Found him lying down in the shower ! on his back, warm water running .. Not good. (at the time, I was working for a company that sold medical alert services; a device for Dad was def something I considered .. but: money)

This changed things. Fall scares in the shower were new. My friend gave me a shower chair that she had used for her grandma. I found a second shower chair on FB Marketplace for outside the shower. These helped our situation. “Sorry Dad: no more showers, if I’m at work. You have to wait for me to be around.”

Had 3 grab bars installed in the shower for added safety. Acquired 3 walkers for each house level; a rollator walker; a folding wheelchair; a small wheel transport chair. Dad even started using a cane.

**2024 — Age 71 — AUG — Began another wave of outpatient physical therapy. Felt there was a disconnect between what Sherwood was learning elsewhere, and what we tried to practice at the house.

**2024 — OCT — Fell off the treadmill, wounds on his knees, right leg, lower shin, his elbow. I was away. My cousin Christina helped dress the wounds, initially. As the weeks went by, I tried to keep his wounds clean, bandaged.

**2024 — NOV — Noticed right leg is swollen. Darker red around wound on right leg, lower shin. The doctor prescribed antibiotics for cellulitis, bacterial skin infection.

**2025 — Age 72 — APR — Began in-home physical therapy; in-home speech therapy; in-home occupational therapy. This was better. In-home exercises made more sense to Dad. We even learned how to get up, from a fall.

The neurologist scheduled a routine radiology appointment. "Good news the MRI was stable. Let's continue the current treatment plan."

**2025 — MAY — Right leg still dealing with the cellulitis, swollen. Still taking antibiotics.

**2025 — JUN — Weather was a heatwave. Had a bout of heat exhaustion; dehydrated.

**2025 — JUL — Fell down the carpeted stairs. Minor scrapes.

Began another wave of in-home physical therapy; in-home speech therapy; in-home occupational therapy.

**2025 — AUG — Takes smaller sips than usual ? Hard to get hydrated with little sips. Choked on water if he drank too fast, ate too fast.

**2025 — OCT — Been falling asleep, unusually, while holding a cup of water; of orange juice; while eating a meal; while finishing an exercise standing at the walker. I asked the doctor about these "narcoleptic, micro sleeps" ?

**2025 — 17 NOV — Whoa ? Noticed both of dad's legs were swollen now, red. Was the cellulitis evolving ? ..

Doctor told me to put compression socks on Sherwood (very difficult, when it's not your own legs).

Had me make sure he lie down with feet above the heart, to re-circulate that blood. (Mom's sleep number mattress bed was very useful, for this).

**2025 — 22 NOV — Took dad to Nation's Burger. He had asked if we could go get a cheeseburger, fries and pumpkin pie. Sure dad, let's go.

Been slipping to the floor, in the middle of the night, while getting up out of bed, to go bathroom.

* * *

<< THANKSGIVING DAY >>

**2025 — 27 NOV — He slept most of the day. Very sleepy that week. Got him up and ready for the late afternoon supper.

Sherwood and I went to a delicious homemade thanksgiving meal, the works, our first one since mom died .. He was looking forward to it.

By the second slice of pumpkin cake, dad started to cough it back up. He said it felt like a tickle in his throat. He coughed as if trying to get something up.

His breathing was normal. We got him home & up the stairs. He said maybe he had to go to the bathroom. So he did. After, I asked how he felt; he said, Better. But that cough was still there. Suggested he rest, while I went outside to tend to yard work.

When I got back inside to check on him a couple hours later, things took a turn for the worse, his breath, short.

In the ER, found out that dad had had pneumonia in both lungs .. and that he was running a fever ?

That maybe he had aspirated accidentally, recently ? that maybe water, food, a germ, entered the windpipe instead of the stomach, maybe from the swallowing issues, which probably caused the coughing, the pneumonia, that recent extreme fatigue ..

**2025 — 28 NOV — Black Friday — Text messages to people:

ICU now, room 203.

pneumonia in each lung, fever — bacterial infection. a few antibiotics are combating it.

oxygen mask for breathing assist. gonna try to wean him off oxygen to check if he can do without the pure air.

if okay: will move to regular hospital bed, to heal. stayed here last night. I left around 5AM to feed hammy, walk him. I'm back at hospital now.

cellulitis, swelling in the left leg, just like the right leg, this past summer — aforementioned antibiotics also combating the swell.

everything combined, was stressing out his heart around 1AM. looking better now, next day.

to stay in hospital for a couple days to monitor oxygen levels

dad is awake, talks. hard to understand with the respiratory mask on. asked about what's happening to him, about hammy, about after dinner what happened before the hospital

**2025 — 29 NOV — Saturday — Text messages to people:

things are not good ..

**2025 — 30 NOV — Sunday — Text messages to people:

x-ray of chest showed white in both lungs: fluid and inflammation. had to be intubated, breathing tube to give air directly to his lungs.

**2025 — 1 DEC — Monday — Text messages to people:

still on breathing machine, tube still intubated. he was open-eyed earlier. could squeeze my finger. showed him a picture-framed hammy that i placed in the icu room. sedated.

they tried the spontaneous respiratory test around 6AM, like yesterday. he breathed on his own; they monitored. lungs still too weak, filled with fluid. still taking lasix diuretic to absorb.

will test again tomorrow. no predictions. just one day at a time.

diner reading, bacon and eggs, and pumpkin pie slice at nearby hickory pit, for self care.

now back to house for sleep

**2025 — 2 DEC — Tuesday — Text messages to people:

ICU called me in the morning:

code blue, come now.

I looked at the Maddie altar of photos on the glass shelf, turned on the candle lights, and said, "Mom, need your help. Dad needs your help. Keep dad alive .."

sped-drove safely. ICU called again: all good, heart stable ..

he had had a heart attack ..

by night, eyes open and communicative.

me, randy, mario (knew sherwood back then). it was kind of like a lil' party with Dad. we engaged in hopeful talk.

i had drawn an alphabet chart for Sherwood to point and spell out what he was trying to tell us: F - O - O - D

E - A - T

He gestured 'hunger' by rubbing his belly.

i told him that i still need to make him that sandwich with leftover turkey since we didn't get our friday after thanksgiving.

* * *

<< WEDNESDAY, 3 DEC 2025 >>

ICU called me again, just as I as about to drive there.

code blue, come now.

"We're doing all we can .. but we don't know if .."

"I'm in the car, on my way .."

I sped-drove safely ? ..

ICU called again, Sherwood passed ..

* * *

He died in the ICU room right next to the one that Maddie was in when she took her final breath .. IF I squinted my eyes, I could imagine both of them there, at the same time, lying down, connected by a room wall .. head to head ..

Strangely, on a cosmic level ? it feels poetic that dad would die, only days before mom’s death anniversary ..

Maddie was the musical conductor, and Sherwood followed her rhythm and dynamics. After she died, I often played a 1970s soul music radio station for Dad, to open up a door to a random memory. It was the soundtrack of their day, a link to their past.

"Hey dad ? who's this song playing ? the stylistics ? the delfonics ? oh yea ? did you and maddie ever go see them live ? oh, where ? circle star theater ? yea mom would always say that too."

See ya, Dad .. we all love you. thanks for teaching me how to drive stick. sorry we never got to eat that turkey sandwich ..

Some tell me that they're together now. It's a warm notion .. ♥️

IF you made it this far, thank you for reading it, for your time, and mind space. — brian (spelled with letter eye)