Our hearts are broken for Michelle and her 4 beautiful sweet girls as they lost Scott after a 9-week battle in the hospital. The original purpose of this Gofundme was to assist them with bills and ongoing expenses coming up, but now we have also added the expense of moving forward for this family without their key provider.  Michelle and the girls have a hard road ahead and will need as much support as we can give them. Please share and help in any way possible.

We've created this GoFundMe to help with expenses that we know will be coming up for Scott & Michelle's family. Recently, Scott contracted Covid-19, and ended up being hospitalized, and now vented, fighting for his life. Michelle & Scott have a beautiful family and farm, and since Scott has been sick, there has been no income for their family, and medical bills will continue to only rise. Regardless of the outcome, their family will be struggling financially for the foreseeable future, and with all of the things going on right now, this is one area that we can all help with to lessen the stress during this horrible situation. We are all not just their friends, but family. Please consider donating anything at all to help them get through this rough patch. We will post updates below that Michelle posts so that you can read their story and keep up with them. Please consider checking back on here to continue to contribute if you can.
 

 

Update from Michelle: 9/10/21 - 11:40pm
For a week, I was adamant about not having one of these set up. We'd figure it out. I'm currently in a spot I don't think I can feasibly figure out now.

Scott lost his job last November due to Covid. He ended up taking a temporary job this year just to have some income. It was significantly lower than he made before but we did second jobs (both) to make it work. BC his job is temp, he currently has zero medical insurance, life insurance, and no FMLA paid leave benefits.

I am currently realizing just how deep into the darkness I am with bills, both medical and regular, and possibly a funeral. I cant do this, I'm ashamed to admit. Scott was the bread winner around here.

I hate asking for help, but I kept looking at my girls pretending it was going to be okay, knowing its not. Even if a miracle happens, it'll be months before he comes home. I am trying hard to do it on my own bc I've never had to ask for help and it embarrasses me, but I've got 4 sets of little eyes looking to me to be there for them in the ways Scott and I both were there, shelter them, and protect them. All whilst trying to be there for him as well. Being thrown to the fires this hard, unexpectedly, has made me realistic about my situation. And its a pickle for sure.

Update from Michelle: 9/10/21 - 12:49pm
My heart is so heavy and mad right now I can't even process what I'm feeling. Today, I've learned that my love now has a very rare condition, so rare that his cardiologist hasn't ever personally seen it. Its not good.
Pneumomediastinum. Write that down and curse every syllable, please? Its effecting his once perfect heart (that he was given a perfect score on just the other day.)
The vent is currently working at max for him.
 
All the care teams are currently discussing a course of action, if any, can be taken.
But when you're given a very very poor prognosis, at this rate we are needing a miracle for Scott.
I'm barely holding composure to write this as I'm so angry. So hurt. So scared. I'm so worried I have to tell my girls their loving Dad is probably going to die. I don't even know how to do that. I don't want to do this life alone, without him. Not at all. He kept telling me he won't survive the vent, and I keep hoping he's wrong as usual.
 
I want to hold his hand and kiss his face, and just snuggle up to him. And I can't do any of that. Maybe not even be able to ever again. I am so broken right now. And hanging onto the hopes that his soul and will to be with us again is stronger than the the things trying to take him away from us.
 
I am going to rest for right now. Terrified of what that future phone call holds for me, and us. Please refrain from actually calling me right now. I cant turn my ringer down bc I need to answer the when the hospital calls. But I am so, so worn out and beaten down, I need to do this so I can be strong for the girls when they get home from school.
 
Continue to message and text,- that's okay- I've got those silenced, but please....let me rest a bit.
And pray harder than you ever have before!!!!!

 

 

 

Update from Michelle: 9/9/21 - 12:42pm

9:33 a.m, as I was gathering up things to take up to his room to make it cozy and be of a constant reminder of home, we stopped treading water and dove fully into the deep end.

 

The hospital called to inform me they would be fully intubating him immediately after I was able to "talk" to him. I said my "I love you" and got a very emotional, Darth Vader styled "I love you" back. Followed by lots of crying and him muttering that he's scared. (Background info for those that don't know. Scott was a respiratory therapist and an Army Medic, served in Desert Storm. He is VERY aware of everything happening right now, the severity of condition he's in, risks with intubation, and mortality rates for his conditions alone, not even including covid). He's terrified. Broke me into so many pieces that I'm still trying to pick them up.

 

His machine started honking ferociously as his vitals were all over the place. And as I was telling him to relax and that I would see him when he wakes up, they had to hang up bc he was getting too upset.

As a roller coaster enthusiast, I don't like this one very much. I've not even been able to process hurdles and emotionally deal with them before being thrown to the fires with the next.

 

I hope this isn't the trend from here on out.

I hope his ability to fully rest will heal him with no more setbacks.

I hope he's awake in a week.

I mostly hope his fears do not come to fruition.

I need this man to come back home to us.

 

But we never have done shit the easy way, have we?

Today we took two steps back, and then just decided to gear up in a wing suit and jump off the cliff. Just out here floating around on the wings of hope.

That's where we are.

Please keep our babies in your hearts.

 

Update from Michelle: 9/9/21 - 3:46am

One step forward; two steps back. It is just the way we roll around here. Had an emergency visit to the hospital this evening.

 

Scott's lung x-rays were showing a <2cm pneumothorax (collapsed lung) on one side, and possibly the start of another on the other side. They were doing emergency surgery and he was being taken to ICU for chest tube surgery.

 

I finally got to see him for the first time and visit with him for a little bit while he was waiting to go into surgery. A VERY emotional visit, as we both knew very well that it could be the last time we saw and spoke to one another. I got the girls on a video call with him so he could see them and they could tell him whatever they wanted. He was VERY emotional during this, so much that I had to hang up so he could calm down and we could get his heart rate and o2 to level back out. I'm pretty sure I experienced every single emotion known to man, all in a very short time span. Im also a Cancer, so I'm EXTRA on the crybaby gene.

 

We were also able to scramble together (very last minute) a last will and testament and a POA, after days of trying hard to get it done. A feat not proving to be easy, given the nature of his illness and the no visitors rule, combined with needing it over a holiday weekend, combined with no money to pay for one. But we did it, thanks for the life saving attorney husband of a dear friend of mine. He helped guide me through the constantly evolving situation up there, concerning the whole thing.

 

This urgent process is not fun. I give it zero out of 5 stars.

During surgery, he had a bit of a tough time, so sedation was increased to make him feel more comfortable.

He expressed his wishes NOT to be intubated unless he absolutely needed it. Having been a respiratory therapist and an Army medic, he fully understands the severity of intubation and how it can negatively effect the lungs with tons of pneumonia. He's already got that badly, he did not want to potentially add more to it. So again, this man has managed to escaped intubation. But still, treading very thin waters.

 

The good news is he is out of surgery, and doing well currently. The bad news is that he is maxed out on bipap still. Any decreases in vitals will require intubation at this point.

 

He is terrified of this situation. I think, in part because he isn't confident he would survive it, and in part because has been on the other side of intubation. He knows the whole process, complications, and recovery processes. I hope it's more of the latter.

 

I'm still hoping for miraculous healing without vent work, and no post complications. Please continue to hope, pray, and love to your hearts content. I fear that we are not even close to being out of the water, and have just merely waded in at this point instead.

 

For those wondering how I am doing (with having covid and dealing with all of this), I am physically fine, mentally exhausted, and emotionally drained. Having said that, it's 3:42 am and I have to get up at 5:30 to start the day. Goodnight and I will keep you all posted......

 

Update from Michelle: 9/7/21 - 9:48am

Most of you reading this are not aware of this, and I apologize. But I wanted to tell everyone why I've not been responding back to messages/texts about random things. Only 2 handfuls of you know that Scott caught Covid, and we were all quarantined. I had to rush him to the hospital when he was at the tail end of his quarantine bc he started to exhibit severe respiratory distress signs. He was immediately admitted. His o2 sats were only at 50% when he was admitted. He ended up tanking while I was out getting his meds/vitamins/ electrolytes for him, and my covid test. I came back home and honestly thought he had passed bc of the way he looked. Major cyanosis and the rest of his skin was white or ashen. He's been in since his birthday, Monday, August 30th

 

At this point, I don't know what the outcome will be. As many of you know, its very touch and go with this illness. He's had good days and some really bad, scary ones. He's been on 100% oxygen for most of his stay. His pneumonia is worsening and x-rays yesterday are showing more infiltrates on his lungs.

 

By whatever grace though, he's NOT been intubated ...yet. And I'm double crossing all my fingers and toes he wont be. But he is straddling a really fine line to being so. He's currently on the last step before intubation. Some days improving, while others taking steps back. I keep being told he's looking at weeks in there unless a miracle happens and his infection miraculously heals and clears. But even IF that happens, his road to recovery will be long due to scar tissue on the lungs he will more than likely have coming out.

 

I'm trying very hard to be optimistic but realistic. But slowly getting discouraged.

This week, I'm working on preparing a living will for us (bc we didn't have one prior) and I'm not going to lie- I'm scared shitless. I'm stressed for other reasons, and I just want everything to go back to normal. Our normal, which is weird as hell, as you all know.

 

I don't know what any day brings, but I do know I could really use your prayers, well wishes, good graces, and love. I just want to hear my friends, and my people right now. ❤ I wasn't going to post publicly bc I hate making people fret and worry (and I'm relatively a private person in this regard), but so many folks keep trying to reach out to me for random stuff, and because I've not felt well enough for small talk, I needed to address it.

 

I ended up catching covid from him and have been at home, alone with the kids, with them to watch out for me. All the while, trying to take care of them AND stay away from them. Not the easiest task by any means.

Please keep him and us in your thoughts. I'm banking on your positivity to carry me through bc I know I'm going to drown in my own thoughts some days.

Love to you all. And sorry if I don't respond back to you. I don't mean any rudeness.