Help Save Matty V!

Hi, I'm The REAL FlyDog, or Matty V to friends, family, coworkers and the State.  You might remember me from such memes as "Sask Party Airlines", or "the Mortlach Sex Mysteries".

Perhaps you're a fan of the Nerdcore Cabaret on 91.3 FM CJTR.

And, well, this is really awkward. But, I'm the kinda fat that humans were never meant to be. Without a whole sad song and dance, let's just say parts of me that have joints or support weight now permanently hurt. Plus, when humans get this big, shit gets bad.

I made it most of the way through the provincial bariatric surgery program, then COVID hit. And after being left to my own devices for two years with no support, they kicked me after failing to make a milestone in a very short time frame. Some stuffs on me, some of its on them.

And I can't wait another five years to even get my foot in the door. I'll save ya the details but my quality of life's tanking.

So, I come to you. The beautiful mutants who know me in meatspace, and the randos who like the way I use vintage advertising to hit Scott Moe in the wibblejibbles with a sock full of quarters.

We're talking bariatric surgery here, kids. When you get this big, you need the big guns. Surgery has RISKS, being 2.5X the size of a normal human has GUARANTEES.

So, if ya have a couple bucks. I'd sure appreciate the chance to get old with my wife and cats.