Help Save my farm

I'm a farmer on the northcoast of nsw we have suffered many years of wet weather and lost or down graded crops , but as all farmers we push on because thats what we do i have 3 kids and Graham goes away to work for 3 months of the year to help make up what the weather takes away. During this time i do all the farm work the pigs cattle and the kids and try to get the paddocks ready to plant my kids... are 9 months 7 and 9 . This is not a problem than in janurary this year we were hit hard 2 minor floods to down grade our crops again and than a massive storm which wiped out our pig shed we lost 50 weaner pigs which were our next 2 months income this caused me great stress still with no money we push on and rebuild with what we have on the farm as we had no money to buy materials many days and nights in the wind and rain but we keep going this was only a stumbling block . On march 7th i was feeding the pigs when i got a sharp pain in the head i felt dizzy and realised something was wrong i left the kids with there dad and got my aunty to take me to hospitial when i got there i collapsed when i came around i couldnt talk and i was being rushed around for a ct scan i was on stroke path as i could think was they must be wrong im 34 yrs old i was beyond stressed at this stage my baby girl had only been breast feed and was used to being with me exclusively they brought me a breast pump and bottles which i needed help with as i had right sided weakness the next few days are a blur mri's blood tests the mri showed 3 previous bleeds My children come to visit but are destressed as i cant talk or walk properly the only thing i can do i express and this proves to be a huge challange .I spend the nights lying awake scared about getting through this as the doctors tell me they are doing there best to find out the problem, I start physiothearpy and speech thearpy the dietition talks to me about diet and the social worker wants to talk about me i ball my eyes out everytime i try to talk the next friday they decide to do a lumbar puncture now i'm petrefied but hopeful for answers they tell me all about it and when it comes to the test i chicken out scared to death the specialist comes back to tell me again why i need this test and tells me they can do it under a CT scan so they can put the needle in the right place i finally agree and get it done on friday after its done i have to lye flat for four hours with out moving i did this and finally fall asleep the next morning i wake up with a nasty head ache but im not to worried as this was a side effect i spend the day sleeping and feeling unwell the kids dont come in tonight .Sunday morning i wake up and go to the bath room i get the worst pain you can imagine in my head and push for the nurse thats the last i remember . The nurses call a rapid responce where doctors rush in im taken straight to icu they ring Graham and ask him to come straight in i'm having seziures and they cant stablise me the only thing i can remember about this day is the horrendous pain , I don't remember graham sitting there all day they give pain relief after pain relief to try and help ,later that afternoon i wake up extremly sore not feeling well but i go back to the ward another MRI is ordered Graham is beside himself he tells me later it was the second time in 14 days he though i wasnt going to make it .Now im on medication for sezuires and can no longer breast feed it seems so small but it was the only thing i could do for my kids i am devestated .
A week of horror is what awaits me , i cant sit up without massive pain like my head is going to burst im scared beyond belief im given massive pain relief constantly but it does do alot i cant get out of bed with out help i cant even sit up to eat over the next week i cant do my physio due to masssive migraines i spend most of my time asleep i hardly see my kids .I left wondering if this pain will ever stop a week goes by and they decide to do a blood patch as they think i'm leaking spinal fluid . Off tho theatre i go really worried as they tell me the risks 1 it wont work 2 it might work 3i could end up paralised 4 i might need a second go i feel physically ill at this stage but what choice do i have ? after the procdure is done i lay there wondering if it will work once again i have to lay still for 4 hours ,worried that it wont take i dont move all night and wake up in pain from not moving but i want to try sitting up thats the big test after all and it seems not to bad a headache but no shooting pain i stay another night to make sure than im allowed home with still no real answers ,off i go with all my home aids a major limp and a walking stick but feeling good im finally going home . My mum has taken time off work to help out she stays another week its a big struggle for me to do any thing at all but im determined not to let this stop me .
The hospitial organised home physio ot and a social worker to see me weekly . As the first weeks go by i'm not doing to bad but the headaches continue to plague me i can get around for about an hour or two at the time than i need to lay down . Now comes the biggest kick in the guts i was copeing with the above until now the bank wants us to sell the farm or come up with alot of money as we dont have enough equity left in our farm i am depressed and decide to start a facebook page called "Help Save My Farm " i use what little money i have to print postcards to sell of my animals i need to sell about one hundred thousand of them ive got 2500 printed i cant do anything else i have no licence and still suffer with headaches i dont have much of a memory any more and they are looking into this as well i am extremly desperate to save my farm . I'm having more tests as migraines persist and most days I'm unable to do much I'm very unsure what lies ahead but I know that I won't give up thanks for coming on my journey Susan you can email me at [email redacted] or pm me or just write on the page .See More
The bank is now putting even more pressure on than ever before I need your support
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Susan Martin 
Booyong NSW
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