Survivor With PTSD Facing Homelessness—Please Help
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Asking for help has always been difficult for me so I really don't want to be doing this; however, the situation we're in right now is desperate. We need a break. Desperately. My partner and I and our two rescue dogs (Birdie & Brodie, pictured above during happier times) are in a deep hole we can't get out of without help.
The short(er) version is that about a year-and-a-half ago, I got seriously ill and was unable to work for a month. My partner's taxi driver income was already diminished due to Uber/Lyft and then we faced a four-figure car repair. This was after a veterinary emergency and two smaller car repairs had already put us in a hole. So, in desperation and sick with worry about my illness, my partner took out a title loan on our car—our one and only "asset." The monthly payment on this loan is $700! Most of that is interest, and when the payment is late (unavoidable a few times), the already sky high interest is jacked up into the stratosphere. At this point we have paid back more than double the amount originally borrowed, yet we still owe about 70% of the original loan! That's over $440O (and increasing every day).
Having to pay an extra $700 per month on top of rent, utilities, phone, internet, gas, car insurance/maintenance and food for us and the dogs has put an enormous strain on our finances. Even with both of us working and living beyond frugally, we were just barely scraping by. And that was only as long as there were no additional expenses. Our precarious existence started to come crashing down in April when we faced a big additional expense. That set in motion a chain of events (details below) that now has us owing two months rent in addition to a few bills being late and the car needing work we can't afford. Our landlord has been patient so far but really wanted at least a partial payment by July 15; unfortunately we have no money to spare as we had to pay two bills this week that couldn't be postponed any longer. We told him end of the month but we're going to need help to make that happen. He wasn't happy and I feel bad because he's been really decent throughout this ordeal and none of this is his fault. And of course there's the car title loan debt that is growing as I type this because the payment is late. Without help, I don't see us ever getting out from under this loan. Unless of course the title loan company takes our car (despite having gotten their money back 2.4 times over). That would be devastating, not just because of all the money that has gone into that car but also because we need a car to have any chance of improving our situation.
That was the short(er) version. Here are the details:
Those of you who've known me for years know my life has never been easy: I left home at barely 16 to escape abuse, ended up on the street, homeless, and turned to prostitution to survive. At 19 I was under the control of a violent sadist who considered me his property and directed every aspect of my life. It took many years to get away from all that and turn my life around, but I did it. And I met and fell in love with a truly good person. But the struggles have unfortunately continued. I have experienced more violence in my life than most people can imagine (I'll spare you details) and, as a result, have a diagnosis of PTSD. I was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a teenager. Neither my partner nor I have family that can help out in an emergency. Both of my partner's parents walked out before he was a year old so he was placed with his grandparents. His grandfather was a coal miner who had black lung and passed away when my partner was very young; his grandmother passed a few years ago. My father and sister died when I was a kid and my mom lives in a small apartment. Her health is poor so I don't want to worry her; also, she's on a fixed income with nothing to spare.
Not being able to turn to family for help means that a crisis can easily turn into a disaster. And we've had no shortage of crises. If I listed all the things that have been going wrong for us, even just in the last couple of months, you would think I had to be exaggerating, that no one can have this much bad luck. Sadly, we do. From on-going health problems since 2012 and veterinary emergencies to endless car repairs, job loss due to state regulatory decisions, my hours cut, my partner's earnings reduced despite working longer hours, being 30 minutes late to an important job interview where my partner was one of the final candidates despite leaving 45 minutes early because there was an accident in the canyon just before he got there and the tow truck was delayed so it took over an hour to clear the road, losing out on another job opportunity due to a bizarre phone glitch during the phone interview, and on and on; the bad breaks have been relentless.
My partner started driving a cab 7 years ago and it used to be that if you were a people person who was willing to hustle and put in 70-80 hours a week, you could make a living at it. But as "ridesharing" companies expanded into more and more markets, cab driver earnings declined (and suicides increased). Predatory pricing (unlike Uber and Lyft, independent taxi services can't afford to lose a fortune year after year) and an unequal regulatory playing field (cab companies must pay permit and other fees and abide by countless regulations that "rideshare" companies get to ignore) made it impossible for cab companies to compete. Last year the state of California killed most of what remained of the local taxi industry when the CA labor department decided without any warning that taxi drivers, who had been classified as independent contractors nationwide since the 1970s, had to be treated as employees. They also imposed penalties that resulted in some of the small independent cab companies going out of business. The few that continued were forced to raise their rates (making it even harder to compete with Uber and Lyft) and paid their drivers minimum wage plus tips.
My partner tried the new arrangement but couldn't make enough money. Most weeks he was lucky to get 20-30 hours and his work schedule was constantly changing, making it impossible to work a second job. So while applying to better-paying jobs he started driving for Uber and Lyft but that meant having to commute to a better market; when possible, he stayed there all weekend and slept in the car. Meanwhile I started helping out a friend who runs a small cleaning service, since my dispatch job had been eliminated as cab companies who were on life support cut back on all possible expenditures. Due to my mental health conditions and the need for someone to be home part of the day to take care of our two rescue dogs (one of whom has health and behavioral issues) I am unfortunately limited as to the type of jobs I can do. I need to either work from home, which my dispatch job allowed me to do, or work part-time (either on my own or in a supportive environment).
So it's April and my partner is driving for Uber and Lyft when our car breaks down, needing a very expensive repair. Of course this happened right before one of the two busiest weekends of the year. We were hoping to have the car back for the second weekend but one of the needed parts was temporarily unavailable, so he ended up missing both of the busiest weekends of the year! The repairs left us so broke we had no money left for the May rent or most of the bills. And then the car's heating and air conditioning went out!
At that point my partner had a mental breakdown. All those years of working 80 hours a week with no break, no holiday, always struggling, nothing working out. He became convinced that we're cursed and nothing ever will work out, that everything is hopeless. Only reason he didn't end his life is that he felt he couldn't abandon me and our dogs.
Usually my partner is the stable one and I'm the one whose mental health is fragile, but now he needed help. He was physically and mentally exhausted and clinically depressed and we were initially told it would be 2-3 months before he would be able to get an appointment to see a therapist, but because he is from a military family, he thankfully only had to wait 10 days. Seeing the therapist has helped and his mental state has improved.
The same unfortunately can't be said about our dire financial situation. I've tried every government agency, charity and church I could find that may offer emergency rent or utility assistance (or help with our nightmare loan) but either they don't serve people in our area or they don't have any funds available. The only possible hope for help from that direction is the county agency that said they might have funds available to cover our power bill but due to a big backlog, there would be a minimum 6-8 week wait. Of course we still applied.
Following his mental breakdown my partner was in no shape to work. I looked into emergency temporary disability but it's only available for a limited number of conditions and none that involve mental health. Since we couldn't live on my meager cleaning service income, he forced himself to drive for Uber/Lyft on weekend nights. Because the car's a/c is not working and it's summer, he had to wait until it cooled down enough before he started work (usually after 10 PM), which of course reduced his earnings. There was no point in working for Uber/Lyft on any other days since weekdays are pretty dead in the summer after 10 PM so the commute wouldn't have been worth it. Even Friday night was extremely disappointing; after paying for gas and car wash, he would make $35-40 if he worked until 3 or 4 AM.
Then Birdie got sick (diarrhea, vomiting, sometimes not eating). She's a sensitive girl and could likely tell how stressed we are, which may have been causing her problems. She's mostly better now (knock wood) but at the time this was another thing to worry about and keeping me up at night since she had to go outside every 1-2 hours. Between cleaning homes, calling around for help, applying for jobs, and taking care of the dogs, I'm lucky if I get 4-5 hours of sleep per night. I'm so exhausted and my partner is too. Just totally burned out. We need a break so, so badly.
In the US, government assistance for poor adults is mostly limited to parents of children under 18 or 19. If you don't have dependent children, all you get is food stamps (SNAP) and, if you are in a state that opted to expand Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act, health care (via Medicaid). At this point, the May rent was almost 4 weeks late and our past due bills were piling up. Our friends are other working class folks who don't have much to spare but they helped if they could.
Next I turned to my Twitter followers for help. Thanks to the donations I received from a few very kind and generous people, we were able to keep our water, power and internet service from getting shut off. But the donations weren't enough to cover the May and June rent or the needed car repair, title loan payment and a couple of other bills, so one of my Twitter followers suggested I set up a GoFundMe in hopes of reaching more people.
We have since managed to pay the May rent but at this time the June and July rent are late. Our car insurance expired at the end of June and our annual inspection for Uber/Lyft expired in early July. To pass the inspection, we need to fix the car's air conditioning and replace a badly worn tire, which we can't afford to do. So that means no more Uber/Lyft.
We have been applying for jobs and my partner had a few interviews but so far nothing has worked out; thanks, in part, due to bizarrely bad luck. Last week he got another request for an interview but it would mean a 7-hour round-trip and we can't afford that. Also, it's one thing to drive the car with the bad tire around town; it's another to take it on the freeway. If he tried to make the trip, it's highly likely to end with him stranded by the side of the road. Or worse.
My partner is currently doing day labor. The first agency he tried wouldn't take him on; they were afraid he would drop dead since it had been 7 years since he last did hard physical outdoor labor while temperatures topped 100 degrees. They told him they'd happily place him in the fall but not now. But he found another agency who had no such qualms. Placements can be for as little as a few hours or they could last for days or possibly even weeks. His last placement, loading trucks in the scorching desert heat, was for over a week and the work was so hard he was the only guy who hadn't quit by Friday. He often felt close to collapse. For this job he was paid 50 cents above minimum wage. Unfortunately the job ended yesterday and the agency had nothing new for him today.
There's a chance my partner could qualify for a government program that provides free job training to displaced workers, but to find out more he needs to make an in-person appointment with the county's workforce development agency and that's in a city almost two hours away. Since with the day labor he often doesn't know whether he'll have work that day until 6 AM, it's difficult to make advance appointments. Moreover, the issues that prevented him from making an appointment for that job interview that would entail a 7-hour round trip apply here as well.
And the truth is, right now our main concern must be our imminent survival. We really can't afford to think long-term when we could get evicted at any time. If we get evicted, it's pretty much over. We already have one eviction on our record (long time ago but these things don't go away) and another is going to make it extremely difficult to get another rental. Not to mention the near impossibility of getting our hands on enough cash for first (and likely last) month's rent plus security deposit while being homeless. There is also the issue with our dogs, one of whom is absolutely not suitable for homelessness, nor is he adoptable (he had been placed in 4 different homes before we adopted him). Temperatures in the desert already top 100-105 degrees and will soon top 110 on occasion. This is not the time you want to be homeless (not that you ever want to be homeless but this is the time of year when people die out here due to the heat; happens every summer).
So we need help. Fact is, even if my partner got a $15-an-hour full-time job next week, it would not be enough to get us out of the deep hole we're in. We can't do it without help and I'm praying we will get it because I don't know what else to do. I've exhausted all other options. The $6,900 would cover the June and July rent, let us pay off the title loan in full (at least before more penalties are added), pay the car insurance and hopefully fix the car (we haven't gotten an estimate yet for the a/c since we don't have any money anyway). Any additional funds donated would go toward the August rent and bills (some of which are very late). I know I'm dreaming; I don't expect anything like that. I'll be very grateful for any help at all.
I wish I had a better idea of what the absolute minimum is that we'll need to pay at the end of the month to avoid an eviction notice but my best guess would be the August rent in full (I expect to be paid at the end of the month for work I've already done and had hopes we would be able to get the August rent together if we get enough work hours between now and then but that's looking unlikely at this point since we just went two days in a row without a job placement; we'd also have to either postpone the power bill or hope our power bill assistance comes through) to show that we're not falling further behind, plus half of June to demonstrate that we're making an effort to catch up.
THANK YOU in advance for any and all donations. I can't even tell you how much I appreciate it.
If you are unable to donate but would like to help, please SHARE this fundraiser and encourage people who are able to help to do so. Thank you!
The short(er) version is that about a year-and-a-half ago, I got seriously ill and was unable to work for a month. My partner's taxi driver income was already diminished due to Uber/Lyft and then we faced a four-figure car repair. This was after a veterinary emergency and two smaller car repairs had already put us in a hole. So, in desperation and sick with worry about my illness, my partner took out a title loan on our car—our one and only "asset." The monthly payment on this loan is $700! Most of that is interest, and when the payment is late (unavoidable a few times), the already sky high interest is jacked up into the stratosphere. At this point we have paid back more than double the amount originally borrowed, yet we still owe about 70% of the original loan! That's over $440O (and increasing every day).
Having to pay an extra $700 per month on top of rent, utilities, phone, internet, gas, car insurance/maintenance and food for us and the dogs has put an enormous strain on our finances. Even with both of us working and living beyond frugally, we were just barely scraping by. And that was only as long as there were no additional expenses. Our precarious existence started to come crashing down in April when we faced a big additional expense. That set in motion a chain of events (details below) that now has us owing two months rent in addition to a few bills being late and the car needing work we can't afford. Our landlord has been patient so far but really wanted at least a partial payment by July 15; unfortunately we have no money to spare as we had to pay two bills this week that couldn't be postponed any longer. We told him end of the month but we're going to need help to make that happen. He wasn't happy and I feel bad because he's been really decent throughout this ordeal and none of this is his fault. And of course there's the car title loan debt that is growing as I type this because the payment is late. Without help, I don't see us ever getting out from under this loan. Unless of course the title loan company takes our car (despite having gotten their money back 2.4 times over). That would be devastating, not just because of all the money that has gone into that car but also because we need a car to have any chance of improving our situation.
That was the short(er) version. Here are the details:
Those of you who've known me for years know my life has never been easy: I left home at barely 16 to escape abuse, ended up on the street, homeless, and turned to prostitution to survive. At 19 I was under the control of a violent sadist who considered me his property and directed every aspect of my life. It took many years to get away from all that and turn my life around, but I did it. And I met and fell in love with a truly good person. But the struggles have unfortunately continued. I have experienced more violence in my life than most people can imagine (I'll spare you details) and, as a result, have a diagnosis of PTSD. I was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a teenager. Neither my partner nor I have family that can help out in an emergency. Both of my partner's parents walked out before he was a year old so he was placed with his grandparents. His grandfather was a coal miner who had black lung and passed away when my partner was very young; his grandmother passed a few years ago. My father and sister died when I was a kid and my mom lives in a small apartment. Her health is poor so I don't want to worry her; also, she's on a fixed income with nothing to spare.
Not being able to turn to family for help means that a crisis can easily turn into a disaster. And we've had no shortage of crises. If I listed all the things that have been going wrong for us, even just in the last couple of months, you would think I had to be exaggerating, that no one can have this much bad luck. Sadly, we do. From on-going health problems since 2012 and veterinary emergencies to endless car repairs, job loss due to state regulatory decisions, my hours cut, my partner's earnings reduced despite working longer hours, being 30 minutes late to an important job interview where my partner was one of the final candidates despite leaving 45 minutes early because there was an accident in the canyon just before he got there and the tow truck was delayed so it took over an hour to clear the road, losing out on another job opportunity due to a bizarre phone glitch during the phone interview, and on and on; the bad breaks have been relentless.
My partner started driving a cab 7 years ago and it used to be that if you were a people person who was willing to hustle and put in 70-80 hours a week, you could make a living at it. But as "ridesharing" companies expanded into more and more markets, cab driver earnings declined (and suicides increased). Predatory pricing (unlike Uber and Lyft, independent taxi services can't afford to lose a fortune year after year) and an unequal regulatory playing field (cab companies must pay permit and other fees and abide by countless regulations that "rideshare" companies get to ignore) made it impossible for cab companies to compete. Last year the state of California killed most of what remained of the local taxi industry when the CA labor department decided without any warning that taxi drivers, who had been classified as independent contractors nationwide since the 1970s, had to be treated as employees. They also imposed penalties that resulted in some of the small independent cab companies going out of business. The few that continued were forced to raise their rates (making it even harder to compete with Uber and Lyft) and paid their drivers minimum wage plus tips.
My partner tried the new arrangement but couldn't make enough money. Most weeks he was lucky to get 20-30 hours and his work schedule was constantly changing, making it impossible to work a second job. So while applying to better-paying jobs he started driving for Uber and Lyft but that meant having to commute to a better market; when possible, he stayed there all weekend and slept in the car. Meanwhile I started helping out a friend who runs a small cleaning service, since my dispatch job had been eliminated as cab companies who were on life support cut back on all possible expenditures. Due to my mental health conditions and the need for someone to be home part of the day to take care of our two rescue dogs (one of whom has health and behavioral issues) I am unfortunately limited as to the type of jobs I can do. I need to either work from home, which my dispatch job allowed me to do, or work part-time (either on my own or in a supportive environment).
So it's April and my partner is driving for Uber and Lyft when our car breaks down, needing a very expensive repair. Of course this happened right before one of the two busiest weekends of the year. We were hoping to have the car back for the second weekend but one of the needed parts was temporarily unavailable, so he ended up missing both of the busiest weekends of the year! The repairs left us so broke we had no money left for the May rent or most of the bills. And then the car's heating and air conditioning went out!
At that point my partner had a mental breakdown. All those years of working 80 hours a week with no break, no holiday, always struggling, nothing working out. He became convinced that we're cursed and nothing ever will work out, that everything is hopeless. Only reason he didn't end his life is that he felt he couldn't abandon me and our dogs.
Usually my partner is the stable one and I'm the one whose mental health is fragile, but now he needed help. He was physically and mentally exhausted and clinically depressed and we were initially told it would be 2-3 months before he would be able to get an appointment to see a therapist, but because he is from a military family, he thankfully only had to wait 10 days. Seeing the therapist has helped and his mental state has improved.
The same unfortunately can't be said about our dire financial situation. I've tried every government agency, charity and church I could find that may offer emergency rent or utility assistance (or help with our nightmare loan) but either they don't serve people in our area or they don't have any funds available. The only possible hope for help from that direction is the county agency that said they might have funds available to cover our power bill but due to a big backlog, there would be a minimum 6-8 week wait. Of course we still applied.
Following his mental breakdown my partner was in no shape to work. I looked into emergency temporary disability but it's only available for a limited number of conditions and none that involve mental health. Since we couldn't live on my meager cleaning service income, he forced himself to drive for Uber/Lyft on weekend nights. Because the car's a/c is not working and it's summer, he had to wait until it cooled down enough before he started work (usually after 10 PM), which of course reduced his earnings. There was no point in working for Uber/Lyft on any other days since weekdays are pretty dead in the summer after 10 PM so the commute wouldn't have been worth it. Even Friday night was extremely disappointing; after paying for gas and car wash, he would make $35-40 if he worked until 3 or 4 AM.
Then Birdie got sick (diarrhea, vomiting, sometimes not eating). She's a sensitive girl and could likely tell how stressed we are, which may have been causing her problems. She's mostly better now (knock wood) but at the time this was another thing to worry about and keeping me up at night since she had to go outside every 1-2 hours. Between cleaning homes, calling around for help, applying for jobs, and taking care of the dogs, I'm lucky if I get 4-5 hours of sleep per night. I'm so exhausted and my partner is too. Just totally burned out. We need a break so, so badly.
In the US, government assistance for poor adults is mostly limited to parents of children under 18 or 19. If you don't have dependent children, all you get is food stamps (SNAP) and, if you are in a state that opted to expand Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act, health care (via Medicaid). At this point, the May rent was almost 4 weeks late and our past due bills were piling up. Our friends are other working class folks who don't have much to spare but they helped if they could.
Next I turned to my Twitter followers for help. Thanks to the donations I received from a few very kind and generous people, we were able to keep our water, power and internet service from getting shut off. But the donations weren't enough to cover the May and June rent or the needed car repair, title loan payment and a couple of other bills, so one of my Twitter followers suggested I set up a GoFundMe in hopes of reaching more people.
We have since managed to pay the May rent but at this time the June and July rent are late. Our car insurance expired at the end of June and our annual inspection for Uber/Lyft expired in early July. To pass the inspection, we need to fix the car's air conditioning and replace a badly worn tire, which we can't afford to do. So that means no more Uber/Lyft.
We have been applying for jobs and my partner had a few interviews but so far nothing has worked out; thanks, in part, due to bizarrely bad luck. Last week he got another request for an interview but it would mean a 7-hour round-trip and we can't afford that. Also, it's one thing to drive the car with the bad tire around town; it's another to take it on the freeway. If he tried to make the trip, it's highly likely to end with him stranded by the side of the road. Or worse.
My partner is currently doing day labor. The first agency he tried wouldn't take him on; they were afraid he would drop dead since it had been 7 years since he last did hard physical outdoor labor while temperatures topped 100 degrees. They told him they'd happily place him in the fall but not now. But he found another agency who had no such qualms. Placements can be for as little as a few hours or they could last for days or possibly even weeks. His last placement, loading trucks in the scorching desert heat, was for over a week and the work was so hard he was the only guy who hadn't quit by Friday. He often felt close to collapse. For this job he was paid 50 cents above minimum wage. Unfortunately the job ended yesterday and the agency had nothing new for him today.
There's a chance my partner could qualify for a government program that provides free job training to displaced workers, but to find out more he needs to make an in-person appointment with the county's workforce development agency and that's in a city almost two hours away. Since with the day labor he often doesn't know whether he'll have work that day until 6 AM, it's difficult to make advance appointments. Moreover, the issues that prevented him from making an appointment for that job interview that would entail a 7-hour round trip apply here as well.
And the truth is, right now our main concern must be our imminent survival. We really can't afford to think long-term when we could get evicted at any time. If we get evicted, it's pretty much over. We already have one eviction on our record (long time ago but these things don't go away) and another is going to make it extremely difficult to get another rental. Not to mention the near impossibility of getting our hands on enough cash for first (and likely last) month's rent plus security deposit while being homeless. There is also the issue with our dogs, one of whom is absolutely not suitable for homelessness, nor is he adoptable (he had been placed in 4 different homes before we adopted him). Temperatures in the desert already top 100-105 degrees and will soon top 110 on occasion. This is not the time you want to be homeless (not that you ever want to be homeless but this is the time of year when people die out here due to the heat; happens every summer).
So we need help. Fact is, even if my partner got a $15-an-hour full-time job next week, it would not be enough to get us out of the deep hole we're in. We can't do it without help and I'm praying we will get it because I don't know what else to do. I've exhausted all other options. The $6,900 would cover the June and July rent, let us pay off the title loan in full (at least before more penalties are added), pay the car insurance and hopefully fix the car (we haven't gotten an estimate yet for the a/c since we don't have any money anyway). Any additional funds donated would go toward the August rent and bills (some of which are very late). I know I'm dreaming; I don't expect anything like that. I'll be very grateful for any help at all.
I wish I had a better idea of what the absolute minimum is that we'll need to pay at the end of the month to avoid an eviction notice but my best guess would be the August rent in full (I expect to be paid at the end of the month for work I've already done and had hopes we would be able to get the August rent together if we get enough work hours between now and then but that's looking unlikely at this point since we just went two days in a row without a job placement; we'd also have to either postpone the power bill or hope our power bill assistance comes through) to show that we're not falling further behind, plus half of June to demonstrate that we're making an effort to catch up.
THANK YOU in advance for any and all donations. I can't even tell you how much I appreciate it.
If you are unable to donate but would like to help, please SHARE this fundraiser and encourage people who are able to help to do so. Thank you!
Organizer
John Harrington
Organizer
San Bernardino, CA