My name is Sarah. I'm not typically one to do this sort of thing but I am realizing that me and my family need help. My wife and I and our sweet pup, Niko moved back home to Maine in September 2020. We had decided to move to the South and spread our wings. When Covid hit, I needed to leave my job because of my asthma and my chances of getting sick were too great. My wife continued to work until it just became too difficult to pay our rent and utilities. We made the difficult choice to return home to Maine. My sister and her fiancé were gracious to let us move in with them until we could find our own place. We ended up living with them until February 2021 when their home caught fire and it was a total loss.  We lost everything that wasn't in our storage unit. We were blessed with friends who stepped up and helped us purchase all new clothing and toiletries and helped us secure a hotel room for a few weeks. We moved in with my sister and her fiancé to a temporary rental but after a few weeks there it was clear that we needed to leave. I do not want to publicly share our reasons for doing so but it did have to do with my mental health. Our leaving was not received well and we are now estranged from most of my remaining family (my mother and father are both deceased). The family that we do have contact with are unable to help financially. We have been staying in an extended stay hotel since March 25th. Now that the summer is upon us, the hotel rates have increased and we cannot afford to pay the weekly rate with our current income.

A little bit about my wife and I. I (Sarah) am serving as an AmeriCorps VISTA member at a local police department. I am working alongside the Behavioral Health Liaison to build a program to help officers create non-arrest pathways to treatment. I love my job and the folks that I work with. Since I am technically employed by AmeriCorps, I receive only a modest $587 stipend bi-weekly. The reasoning for this amount is that many AmeriCorps VISTA members work with folks in poverty. So, we are paid what would folks in severe poverty would receive. Sam works as a psych tech at a local Psychiatric Hospital. She took an overnight position as it pays more with shift differentials for overnight technicians. Even with her added income, we are struggling badly with making sure that we are able to pay for all the bills and such as well as keeping a roof over our heads. We currently have the added cost of paying for a storage unit that is currently holding our bed, dining room table, dresser, and other household items that we did not need while living with family. I also am responsible for paying for my own health insurance and phone bill. During the pandemic and then with the fire, we got behind on our car payment. We are one missed payment away from losing our car and only means of transportation. We had a small amount of savings but with the expense of paying for a hotel room weekly, the $1,150.00 car payment (we missed so many payments that we are now having to make two payments of $1,150.00 in June and then again in July), health insurance, phone bill, pet food and human food. We are just not going to have enough to cover everything and unfortunately it's come down to either letting go of the car or not having a place to live.

To make matters worse, we both have asthma and neither of us can afford inhalers and other medications for it. I have major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety. I have not been able to get medication for either and my mental health and physical health has been greatly affected. Not a day goes by that I don't have suicidal ideation. I know that medication won't take away any of these issues but they will greatly reduce them. I have also discovered some concerning lumps on my back that have been growing steadily for the last couple months. Unfortunately my health has been ignored because we just can't afford the copays even though I have insurance.

On top of all this, our car is very illegal right now. We have not had the funds to get the necessary repairs done. Currently our car's motor that provides A/C and heat does not work. We also have bad brakes and they squeal every time we stop. Our back bumper needs to be replaced as Sam backed into a fence and part of the bumper got torn off. Our driver's side window will go down but will not go back up. It was discovered that the motor that controls the window needs to be replaced. Since we have been unable to afford to have the repairs done, the car will not pass inspection. If we were to bring it to a mechanic they would scrape the inspection sticker and the repairs would need to be completed before a new one put on. We would be without a vehicle for a while if we went that route. So, Sam is currently taking a chance every time she drives. As of right now the car has an expired inspection sticker and expired registration tags. It would be considered an arrest able offense if she was pulled over. I have not driven the car since before Christmas because if I were to get pulled over, I could potentially lose my job. I experience anxiety and panic every time I have to get in the car, which is daily as I have to work. I worry every day that Sam will get pulled over and she texts or calls me every time she arrives at a destination to let me know that she arrived without incident. If she didn't, I would pace and worry until she returned. On our days off, we don't go anywhere or do anything. We stay at the hotel because my anxiety is so bad.

Sam and I both have worked for social service agencies and have helped folks get the help that they needed. Neither of us have wanted to admit that we are in need of help and we just don't want to be a burden. I certainly don't want people to feel bad for me and neither of us like asking for help. At this point though, we just don't know what else to do. We have applied for help and have called many agencies in the area. Many of the services that provide assistance to folks in need are unable to help us because we make just a bit more income than is considered living in poverty. We have even reached out to faith-based agencies and churches. Please understand that we have exhausted all avenues before creating this GoFundMe.

I want to be transparent with you all. The money raised from this account will go first to getting the car repaired, inspected and registered so that we will be driving a legal car. The remaining funds will be used to secure permanent housing by being able to pay the required first month rent and security deposit. If there are any funds remaining we will use it to pay off our vehicle and get the needed medication that we both need and have my back examined. Finally, anything left that doesn't meet our immediate needs, we will use to pay it forward. We have been blessed with kind folks who have helped us out when we have needed it most. We are more than willing to provide receipts for these things if asked. To be able to take care of what we need to and finally feel some security would do wonders for our mind, body and spirit.

Please don't feel as though you need to help us financially. If you are struggling with making ends meet, we don't want you to feel obligated or guilty for not being able to help. All we ask is that you share this and pray for us!

Thank you!

From Sarah, Sam and Niko