Help Sandra Meyer with medical expenses for Dan.

As we reach our first plateau of funding, Dan and Sandra find themselves in an uncomfortable position. The Doctors have told them that they will not do an MRI Scan, Pet Scan or Cat Scan until 30 to 60 days after the last Immunotherapy Infusion will be performed. To Dan and Sandra this is a little scary, because they won't know if it was working.

What if it didn't work?  We would be in the dark about where the Cancer is. They feel very uncomfortable with this scenario.

So with that in mind, we are trying to hit the ground running by seeking out Small Cell Clinical Study with experimental medicines so if in the event the Immunotherapy didn't take, we can  jump right on to a Clinical Study some where else in America.

The problem is, insurance doesn't cover the Clinical Experimental Studies. So we are looking for additional donations, so Dan and Sandra and a real fighting chance. These are very expensive and we will be needing more money.

•••

Many of us know Sandra and Dan Meyer, along with their daughter Caroline, and about Dan's cancer diagnoses and how quickly it has progressed. A great article has been written, telling their story, that I have included below. In the meantime, they need our help. Dan has been treated with chemotherapy and radiation, and he has not responded well. Without a miracle it could be weeks or even days. Sandra can not do this on her own, therefore, we are asking for financial help. 

While we do not know what they will be experiencing emotionally and spiritually over the coming months, the financial strain will be mounting. This will not only consist of medical bills, but meals, time away from work, child care assistance, and likely many other things yet to be identified. 

No matter how small, your contribution is greatly appreciated by Dan, Sandra, and Caroline. 

With much gratitude, 
Amy

•••

Sandra Marino Meyer walked through the doors of the funeral home, and that’s when it finally hit her. 

She loved to go to parties and gatherings and events. She loved people, needed them, really, and those gatherings gave her the kind of energy a neon sign receives after it’s plugged in. The only thing she loved more than going to them was planning them herself. And when she walked through the door, she realized she was going to plan one of the biggest of her life. 

But this one felt…well, weird. It felt like a lot of things. It would be the funeral for her husband, Dan. She would need all the energy people could give her, and it would probably not be enough, that day and for many days after. She was there because Dan was going to die. 
“You want to do the best you can do,” Sandra said. “But this is your husband. This is the father of your daughter. All those memories.”
Dan, 61, looks to the left, away from Sandra, 45, as she tells the story. He feels bad for her. He feels terrible for Carol, who is 11. Dan knows her pain. He lost his father when he was only 17. The last thing he wants to do is do the same thing to Carol. He cries at the thought. 
And yet, he’s also a little frustrated and exasperated and even a touch angry. After all, he is not dead yet. 

Dan understands Sandra’s thinking, at least enough to hold her hand when she talks about losing him. He has small cell lung cancer. There are always unique cases and miracles, but it’s essentially incurable. He has tumors in his chest and his brain. The treatments haven’t offered much hope. He feels tired. But he still has hope. He doesn’t like to talk about his death. He prefers to talk about the admittedly small chance he could live. He’s beaten everything in his life, even a couple recent heart attacks. Why can’t he beat this? 

This is an issue for Valentine’s Day, and so the publishers of Best of Greeley wanted to give you a love story. Sandra wanted to honor Dan, and Dan reluctantly agreed, after the writer agreed to do it. It’s a bit unusual for the publishers of a magazine to feature themselves, they realize. They aren’t Oprah. 

But they do have a love story, and it’s a story that many may be able to relate to, both fortunately and unfortunately. Sandra knows other stories are out there from the time she spent volunteering for the American Cancer Society. 

Though it’s been a good marriage for both of them, 15 years strong, not all love stories have happy endings. And the thing is, Sandra and Dan really don’t know how this one will go. 

Sandra was not in the mood for small talk. She was trapped in Boston, her plans for a ski trip in Vermont to see her sister swept away by what Easterners call the Blizzard of 2003. 

Sandra was from Brazil, and snowstorms were a sign of the apocalypse over there. And that’s what it felt like in Boston, too, as snow clogged roads, airport runways and sidewalks. She was in the lobby of a hotel, trying to find a way out of Boston. She knew Vermont was out, but perhaps she could salvage her trip to Europe, and she was on the phone when…

“Can you believe this storm?”

Wait, who was this? This was not the time. And yet, this man was polite and kind and a bit funny, and so she found herself giving him her e-mail and a small percentage of her time. Yes, this storm is awful, she agreed. I can’t believe it.

She lived 4,000 miles away. She figured that was the end of it. 
Dan, however, had other ideas, and today he admits he had a plan. He had dated other Brazilian women before, and though they were an adjustment — they were just so passionate about everything — he tried American women, and the one he married ended in divorce after a couple years. He wanted to try a Brazilian again. 

She found the email in her box a couple weeks later. “Hey, remember me?” was the subject line. Sure. It took more than a week for her to reply. 

But those emails entranced both of them, and so did the phone calls that followed. He went down to see her that same year, during the week of the 4th of July, to see her and ultimately propose. They got married in Denver in a civil ceremony in September and had a big celebration a month in October. 

If it seems fast, this was Dan’s second marriage, and Sandra was ready. They both knew what they wanted. “We knew we wanted a family,” Sandra said. “We knew we were ready for each other.”

Well, they were, with a few adjustments. Sandra’s social calendar was the biggest hurdle. It exhausted Dan, an introvert, and Sandra, an extrovert, didn’t understand why, when they got home, Dan told her to leave him alone. She was full of energy!

They learned to compromise. They drove separate cars to the events, so Dan could leave when he got tired, which was, of course, way before Sandra was ready to go. And Dan adjusted, too, learning how to be more social and even learning to enjoy it, especially after he wedged his way into her circle of friends. 

They knew things would change when they had Carol. Things always change when children come. But just like many couples, they didn’t realize how much would change. 

Carol was born in 2007, and their number-one goal was achieved. And then, two weeks later, the Brazilians came calling.  JBS wanted to buy Swift, and they knew Sandra from the work she did volunteering as a consul for the Brazilian government. She was also an attorney. She seemed like a good fit to help the Brazilian owners of JBS to get acquainted with American culture. Swift, as it turns out, wanted her even more than Brazil. When she said she’d be happy to find someone for them, they said no, they wanted her. She said no, she had a brand new baby, and they countered with a terrific offer, one she simply couldn’t turn down. And so she worked with them, and three years after Carol was born, they moved to Greeley so she could continue to work for JBS. 

It was hard to work while taking care of Carol, but she felt good about it once they were established in Greeley. They both fell in love with the city. Greeley was giving, as many cities are, but Sandra especially liked the way all classes blended together. When she was in Sao Paulo, Brazil, the city was much bigger, but her experiences were limited to a small social circle of the well-off. 

“The city is divided socio-economically,” Sandra said. “I always saw the same people because I would go to the same clubs and the same places and the same school. But I think Greeley is like a big family. When you go to a grocery or drug store, there’s not a single time I don’t see someone and start talking.”

In addition to the cancer society, she got involved with the Women’s Fund of Greeley, the Weld Food Bank, the Greeley Stampede and the Weld Republican Party, among others. She felt wanted and loved all the connections she made, and in time, Dan did too. 

She also felt good about working because Dan helped with Carol. He is a still man, she said with a sly smile, but he was a co-parent, not someone who expected his wife to do all the work. 

“You might find people who say maybe he wasn’t the perfect boss or communicator,” Sandra said, “but you won’t find someone who will say he wasn’t the perfect father.” At this, Sandra’s eyes fill with tears. 

“And that’s what kills me,” she said. 

At the beginning of the summer, Dan developed a cough. Doctors blew it off, even after visits to his primary physician, urgent care and the emergency room. When they were about to release him again, even after three months with the cough, Dan insisted on tests. When they complied, they found the cancer. 

Even as Dan insisted on the tests, the diagnosis shocked them. There was no history of cancer in his family. Cancer is bad enough, but this diagnosis was devastating. Less than two percent survive small cell lung cancer for even two years. Dan isn’t responding well to the treatments either, and the cancer is also in his brain. 

The cancer is tiny enough to make it difficult to treat, and it goes everywhere in the body. 

“Imagine a firework,” Sandra said while spreading her fingers out to imitate the tendrils flaring out from the center. 

Carol and Dan are as good of friends as an older man can be with an 11-year-old in addition to his fatherhood. Dan painted and drew with her and taught her how to sew. They played with Barbie dolls together.
“They are always together,” Sandra said. 

She is fidgety when they try to talk to Carol about Dan’s illness, and Carol isn’t comfortable talking to a therapist about it either. When the therapist asks her what she thinks about his illness, she answers that she thinks about Harry Potter. 

Dan, the quiet introvert, prefers not to talk about it either. 

“The hardest part is not knowing what’s going on in their minds,” Sandra said. “I’m eager to help, but they don’t want to talk about it.”
Dan doesn’t want to talk about it because he doesn’t want to be “doom and gloom” around his daughter. But Sandra doesn’t like the approach. 
“We can’t pretend nothing is happening,” she said. 

Dan is not afraid to die, he said, although he also admitted that he was scared of what could happen. 

“The hard thing is leaving Carol,” he said through tears. “My Dad did that to me. And I’m leaving Sandra too. That’s not fair to them.”

They both know that life is indeed sometimes not fair. They also hope to take advantage of the life they have left. Sandra couldn’t finish her duties at the funeral home. Not yet. Dan is working on milestones. He wants to live to see special days in his life. 

One of the recent ones, and perhaps the most important to this date, was Christmas morning. Dan wasn’t supposed to see it — many die in four months — but he was alive and feeling as good as can be expected. They opened presents that morning, went to a movie and went out to dinner. It was a nice day, the way many normal families without such burdens would spend it. 

“It was very peaceful,” Sandra said.

The next is March 1. That will be Carol’s birthday. Dan, so far, feels good about his chances. 

(Article written by Dan England for The Best of Greeley Magazine)