A message from Samantha:

“If you know me then you know that I am not a fan of asking for help, but my life has taken me down a crazy new path and I can’t do this one alone. For a little over a year, I have had severe fatigue and irritability. This was affecting my energy at work, my relationships with friends, and my relationship with myself. Everyday felt like such a chore for some reason and I slowly found myself skipping ski practice, canceling plans with friends, and basically shutting myself down. At first I thought it must just be a sleep issue, or that I needed to do less activities because I was making myself too exhausted. About 6 months ago I noticed I would get weird rashes on my face, my hands/feet would turn purple, and I was starting to have severe joint pain. This was concerning to me as I am a 23 year old healthy person and my gut was telling me that something wasn’t right. When brought up to my doctors, I was told that my blood draws looked fine and I must just be dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety. Yes, I was (still am) struggling with my mental health because I was in pain every day and not able to prioritize the things that make me happy. In February of 2025 I started feeling helpless. The pain was getting more severe and I was just so exhausted. This is when I first attempted to take my life. Now here’s the thing, I’m a happy person. I love my life and I love the people in my life. But I felt like I was crying for help and nobody was listening. I was in denial about how bad my mental health had really gotten and tried to push my first attempt off as something that will never happen again. So I continued to try and push through the pain. In April 2025, I woke up one morning in more pain than I had ever been in. It wasn’t getting better throughout the day so I took myself to the ER. There wasn’t much they could do and I wasn’t taken seriously because it wasn’t a visible pain. Again, I felt helpless. I had started to gaslight myself that it was all in my head and I was just crazy. This is when I attempted to take my life for the second time. Doctors were concerned about why I was feeling so low, and ran some more blood tests. I had multiple abnormal/concerning results come back. They determined that I have an autoimmune disease, but I would have to see a rheumatologist to do further testing. I made the appointment with the specialist, but decided that its time I take responsibility of my health, mentally and physically. I started to game plan with my support systems, and we came to the conclusion that it would be best for me to take some time off of work to attend a day group treatment program. I recently had more testing done and have been diagnosed with Lupus. If you don’t know what Lupus is, it’s a chronic disease that occurs when your body’s immune system attacks your own tissues and organs. There is a part of me that is relieved I have the answer to why I have been in so much pain, and had so many other symptoms, but there is another part of me that is angry and hurt that I had to feel so alone for so long. I am in the process of starting treatment for both lupus and my mental health. Because I have to take time off of work to be able to get the help I need, the medical debt and financial burdens associated with pursuing treatment have been a huge stressor on me. I know that times are hard for everybody, but if you’re able to help in anyway it would mean the world to me. All the love always.”