I lost my job in March. I'd been there for 6 years, 5 from home, kicking ass, taking names, with never a problem, reprimand, or writeup. The call came out of the blue. According to the owners, the company was struggling, so they were cutting back. This was a sign of things to come in the job world, as I've so painfully found out.

My unemployment ran out in September. I currently have no income.

I've applied to probably 200 jobs by now. Had some interviews. Spoke with a few agencies. Actually thought I had a job, but suffice it to say that it didn't work out, and boy, do I see that it was for the best. At least it was a few days of work. Last month, I was able to find a couple of days' work, but by design, that's all it was.

I am not unemployable. By any means. The job market is as bad as some of the reports are saying it is. I've never had a problem finding a job. I do believe age has become a factor, which is unfortunate. The work I have done for decades has not required me to be a Microsoft expert or to learn QuickBooks. These are requirements of many of the jobs I see that I know I can do. I attempted to get into a free certificate program at the local college to enhance my skillset and at least make me look better on paper, but the timing seems to be off, and the coordinator of the program is not coordinating, which hurts. Sadly, I probably won't remain eligible to take advantage of that opportunity.

The dogs are used to me being home for the last 5+ years. Leaving them all day is going to be hard on them. I see that every time I go out for even a little while. I can't work any farther from home than necessary for them and for me. With my health, I need a longer time to pull myself and my breathing together each day, get ready, take care of the dogs, and get out of the house. I'm no longer physically capable of, as in times past, trying to tread water by taking a job running around a warehouse picking orders on the overnight shift (for the extra dollar an hour) or working in a retail environment where I am standing and/or running around for hours on end. Pretty much, it's desk job or bust. At a pay rate that helps and not hurts. I've looked at remote jobs, trust me. Not easy to get a foot in the door. And the money isn't there for the most part. All I can say is that I am trying every single day, and it's just not coming up enough.

Every little thing has been such a struggle. I could have applied for SNAP back in March, but I've really held on to the hope that my plight would be short-term, and I feel I am my own problem to take care of. Once my unemployment ran out, I had no choice. I was awarded benefits in October, and you all know how things went down in November. Beginning in December, I will have to (impossibly) qualify each month because senior citizens of my age are no longer protected. Look up ABWD.

On my list of things to take care of over the summer, had my world not come crashing down around me, was to fix the heat in my vehicle. It does not work. An expensive repair. I had some money saved, and I was going to devote every penny I could over the summer to reach that goal before the cold weather set in. Even if I'd found gainful employment within the last couple of months, I probably could have pulled it off. Now there is no hope for it. The cold weather is here, and it leaves me in a terrible position. How do I go to and from a job with no heat in the car? On days when there might be any frost or frozen precipitation, it would be dangerous not to be able to melt buildup off the windshield. Never mind how sick I'll get. It's the very definition of the word "conundrum".

Paying November bills depleted the last of my funds. My mortgage is not even factored in because I haven't had enough for that in months. Losing my house is on the table.

I don't know what's going to happen. Despair and anxiety are my constant companions. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. I know there's nothing anyone can do, but maybe putting this out into the Universe is what needs to be done.

My friends have encouraged me to start this fundraiser. I'm setting the amount for the cost to repair the heat.

Thank you. From the bottom of my tired and broken heart.