Help reconnect me with my family

Hello, I'm Tammi (Also known as Devvlin amongst my gamer friends) Many of you know my story but for those that don't I will share it now. This is the most transparent and vulnerable I have ever made myself, Doing this, writing this is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Please be kind with any communications.

Some back story about me:


I come from a very broken homelife, My father left when I was 6 months old, My mother was a mentally ill drug addict. I was in and out of foster/group homes and her house and the streets until I was 18.


At 18 I became pregnant with my greatest accomplishment. My kaylabear. Unfortunately her father is an alcoholic deadbeat. His parents however, took me in, cared for me and loved me as their own. But ultimately, im not their kid. We split up when she was a year and half old. Being a Single mom, We had our ups and downs throughout life as most people do, I worked in accounting for many years until the economy took a dive and I was laid off in 2007. Thankful to her grandparents, who allowed us to live with them. I was struggling to find work and used the opportunity to return to college and get my degree. I graduated with honors 4.0 GPA


Life was good, I got a good job, moved to Northern San Diego,  and then was laid off again, During that time I'd taken up Jewlery making as a hobby, I began to turn it into a business, on the side to help make ends meet. Since then ive done graphics and jewelry to survive.  

On the 4th of July, 2015 I discovered I had 3 brothers I never knew existed. Michael, William and Adam. My world completely flipped upside down. 



I have 1 older brother, 2 older sisters, and 1 younger brother who I partially grew up with. Oldest brother molested me,  and was given up for adoption (long story), Sisters, we only partially grew up together, I still talk to Val, while Angel and I are still estranged.  My youngest brother Jason, I still speak to, tho we arent super close. None of this is meant to hurt them. They are my family, and I love them, and I hope they each read this and understand. While I choose not to have a relationship with my oldest brother, the rest of my siblings we do have relationships, life and time have stressed them unfortunately, none of us live close to each other.  

So when I found my brothers and we fit, it was a feeling id never experienced before, I very much grew up an only child, until my brother jason was born. He was born when I was 8, and with that age difference meant we also were not close.  By my teens things were pretty ugly at home and id turned to drugs and the streets. my teen years werent pretty and im not proud of them. Im telling you this so you understand how profound it was for me to find them. 

I liquidated as much as I could to get funds together to go meet them. It was the most amazing experience of my life.  

I went from being 1 of 5 siblings (none of which i was close with) to 1 of 8, in a matter of seconds. And they all looked like me. and sounded like me and talked like me. I look like my dad. They say looks dont matter, but there is something incredibly comforting in seeing yourself in your siblings. For the first time in 40 years I felt like I belonged somewhere. It was an instant connection. Like trying to shove a square peg in a round hole over and over, and then suddenly you see the square hole, and it fits perfectly.  They dont come without their own struggles and flaws, but they are mine. I love them so much. I miss them terribly. I just want to be with them. 


My brother BJ <3

My brother Adam <3


My brother Mikey! <3

My Nephew, David! <3


Shortly after my visit, My daughter moved to Iowa (4 hrs north of my brothers in Minnesota) to start a better life, go to school, and be able to afford to live. I am so incredibly proud of her, it hasnt been an easy road but shes done it! And she is soaring! I miss her so much, we are very very close and it breaks my heart to be so far from her.  




My goal was to save the money needed to relocate to the midwest. Unfortunately the cost of living in Socal is astronomically high, making it impossible for me to do so. 

I've done everything in my power to never have to ask for help. I don't have parents to turn to, and I'm in crisis. I'm coming to you now. I'm swallowing my pride and asking for help. If I've ever brought joy to your life in any way, I'm hoping I can call on you now to help me survive. 

I don't know what to do. My job has dried up, I've managed to stay above water barely, with side graphics jobs and jewelry sales, Work here is impossible to get, that will provide enough income to live on. I have a lot of prospects business wise but nothing that is going to save me right now and mostly things i cant put into motion until I've moved to the midwest. 

My rent is due is 5 days which he just raised to $1200, My phone/internet was due on the 12th $280, My electricity was due on the 15th $300. My food stores are dwindling and I have $30 to my name. Ive tried for the last year to save enough to move to the midwest to be with my family, but California is literally killing me. My car broke down, and thankfully I have the most amazing best friend on the planet, Steph with the help of her parents, gave me hers! (long story and not mine to tell lol) Mine isnt worth but a couple hundred to a junkyard at this point, which i have to take care of, but the company that originally sourced the loan that i paid off in 2008 went out of business and i need them to release the title to sell it to ecology. *sigh* Still working on this.

I cant get a loan because I worked a project based job as an independant contractor, I need to get out of here. I need to get somewhere I can afford to live, where I can get health insurance, where I can be closer to Kayla. To my family. I'm so alone up here, inside my head, sad, missing my kid, broken. My health isnt the best - I should be on BP meds and well as meds for my thyroid. I havent been to a doctor in I dont remember how long. Ive lost 66lbs sheerly from stress. Best diet ever, NOT!  i dont recommend it.

I don't know if there is anything you can or are willing to do, but if you can find it in your heart to help me, I'd be eternally grateful.  I'm sorry for coming to you, I'm sorry I've failed, I honestly tried. This is the single most humiliating thing ive ever done. 

I am not sure how much longer utilities will be on, but the library is next door and if it gets shut off ill go there to check email.

I dont want handouts - I will gladly make graphics or jewelry in exchange for anything given. Christmas is coming! I make presents! :D  Please help me relocate to the midwest to be with my family, I have a chance at a fresh start, I'm hoping and praying with every fiber of my being. 

Thank you in advance to anyone who sends even a single penny. It all adds up and you mean the world to me. Thank you seems so insignificant for something so magnamous, so life changing. Thank you thank you thank you!

A breakdown of what I need and why: 

Rent: - $1200 (for November - December will be needed if i cant raise enough to move by then)
Electricity -$600 (past due and current)
Phone/internet - $500 (past and current)

Truck rental: $2000 (truck and hitch for car)
Gas: $500 (california to iowa)
Expenses (food, lodging, etc) $500
Weekly motel when i get there while looking for housing and Job (im estimating this, a motel 6 is $50 a night or $235 a week.

First and last month rent guestimating based on current averages $800 x2 plus deposit avg $500 - $2000

Any donation made will receive Jewelry or graphics in exchange. Please let me know what you prefer in an email. 

Love you all,
Tammi