Help Rebuild Life & Recover Losses After Escaping Abuse

Hello, dear friends. I am desperately in need of help from my community. I am seeking $15,000.00 to recoup the costs and losses of a cross-country move to escape an abusive relationship with my ex-fiancé. This money will be used to pay down the cash advances that I had to make on my credit cards in order to flee to safety.

If you have followed me on social media, you have likely seen my posts explaining the abuse that I experienced. I have police reports on file against my ex-fiancé in multiple states. I have experienced emotional, financial, sexual, and physical abuse at his hands. Not only was I threatened with a gun and restricted from the types of work I could perform, but I was sexually assaulted multiple times by him and in multiple states. When the police came to my Colorado apartment to take my first report, they said it was not safe for me to stay in proximity to my ex-partner, and he would likely try to kill me if I did, given I had already been threatened by him with a racked gun. Leaving Colorado and coming home to Ohio was necessary for me and my safety. In the process of leaving, I had to use all of the space on my available credit cards and completely drain my cash savings from all accounts I have.

I was scammed by the moving broker and company I used, and they have charged me about $7,000.00 for the cross-country move, which was originally estimated to be only $2,800.00. After making the first payment, I was not allowed to back out of the agreement without losing everything I had already paid into it. As well, I proceeded with the agreement because I was told I could use credit cards to pay for everything. Once I was assigned my moving company, that company told me that they only accepted cash or Venmo. At that point, I had already invested $4,500.00 into the move, and would have lost all of that money and would not have been able to do the move myself via UHaul. On top of that, a significant value and volume of my items was stolen during interstate transit. This includes my entire music collection from my whole life (CDs, tapes, vinyls, sheet music, and more); a vast collection of plays, hard-and-softback books, theatre textbooks collected throughout college and after, and various other reference publications and compliations; my Instant Pot, and ALL of my backpacking and camping equipment (Osprey pack, duck cover, sleeping bags, festival blanket, tools, sleeping pad, and beyond). The rough estimate estimated cost of what was stolen from me is $5,000.00 — well over half the cost of the move itself. I am working with attorneys to see if I have both a theft and fraud case, and I am pursuing a rental insurance claim to try and reduce some of that cost and replace as many of those items as I can. This is a slow process to figure out every stolen item when most of my belongings are still in a storage unit. As well, for my own physical safety, I had to pay out of pocket for the hotel stay (10 days) and rental car (only a few days) during my last days in Denver, which ran me about $1,500.00 total. The police did not tell me at the time that they could move me to a domestic violence shelter; rather they told me I should go to a hotel and watched me book it from my phone in their back of the SUV. There is no domestic violence victim assistance if you pay out-of-pocket for a hotel. Along with all of this, I lost a significant part of the security deposit that I paid for entirely on my old apartment in Colorado, because according to my landlord, my ex-fiancé trashed the place and never cleaned it before leaving and did not make the repairs he and I agreed upon, including him not fixing the door and frame he broke down that hit me in the face, before he threatened our lives by racking a firearm in the home. He also owes me 50% of a mischarged difference of rent that he and I experienced for almost a year, which is an incredibly steep value in Colorado. I would like to pursue him in small claims court for this and for the money that I invested in the dog we shared (Sadie, who recognizes me by the name “Mama”), but with the debt I have, it’s not reasonable or safe for me to consider going to small claims. The amount I have calculated that I can sue him for in small claims is about $5,000.00.

I am currently in a situation where my debt is equal to my income. I am making about $36,000.00 and my credit has fallen to the high 500s due to my maxed-out cards and debt-to-income ratio. When I left Denver, I had to turn down a $60,000 a year job that would have changed my life AND a part-time gig that would have made paying down my debts a breeze. I was not close to this financial situation when I was living there; my credit was in the 700s and I was carrying a small amount of credit card debt that I was easily conquering. After the cash advances maxed out my cards, I am drowning. There are no savings, and I’m living less than paycheck-to-paycheck. Anything that comes into my bank account is immediately pushed out to pay down my car payment (a used vehicle, one of the cheapest I could find in good working condition), car and renter's insurance, storage unit, phone bill, and credit cards. I am lucky enough to be staying with my best friends for zero rent (I pay for most of my toiletries, and pay for own supply of food, but still eat with the family too) but it is not possible for me to stay here in perpetuity. As well, I have looked into debt consolidation and debt resolution programs. I do not qualify for a debt consolidation loan because of my debt-to-income ratio. Debt resolution and management programs would shut down the entirety of credit that I have built to have available for emergencies. Neither would immediately free up the money I need to get me out of this. As well, both debt management and resolution programs would tank my credit (to the 300s) to a point that I would not be able to move out of my friends’ house for at least another two years. This is not feasible or reasonable for them, and it is not feasible or reasonable for me. Asking for your financial assistance is my last-ditch effort before I take on a debt resolution/management program or bankruptcy and have to plan to make myself homeless. My friends are not planning to kick me out, but again: it is not possible for me to stay here permanently. Debt management and resolution programs are the step before bankruptcy, and I am trying as hard as I can to avoid that situation. Unlike my abusive ex-fiancé, I do not have a wealthy family that I can live with or who are able to financially support me and cover the costs of my move. I have my best friends and I have myself, and my friends cannot host me forever.

I am not spending frivolously. I rarely drink. I do not partake in cannabis. The events that I have been to since coming back to Ohio are tickets that I have won, tickets my friends have bought me, or tickets that I have been comped, with a handful of minor, planned, and budgeted exceptions. I used to have a miniscule portion of my budget set aside so I could socialize with my friends, but I’m no longer able to use any of that. Occasionally, my friends will pay for me when I meet up with them so they know I am eating. I am seeking better paying full-time jobs, actively, but I am also in a position where I may need to take on a third, fourth, and fifth job to make ends meet. I am often sleeping five hours a night trying to manage my personal life and finances. I have received free clothes from my friends, or resold my clothes to exchange stores like Avalon for store credit and only purchased minimal, necessary clothing. I work a very physical job now that I’m back in Cleveland, and I’ve lost even more weight than I did when I moved out West, due to the physical intensity. Right now, a lot of my pants and undergarments are so big and ill-fitting, that it is physically uncomfortable to wear them. The cost of life is staggering.

This is the most humiliating situation I’ve been in in my entire life. To find out that my abusive ex-fiancé was cheating on me the entire time we were together, to finally accept that the physical and emotional abuses he performed on me ARE abuse, to be a domestic violence survivor and get scammed by a moving broker and company, and to keep getting rejected for jobs in my wheelhouse that pay far more money than what I currently make doing something not aligned with my NPO/HR day career, is humiliating. There is no other words but humiliating. I am close to a point where dying is a better, cheaper option than being alive. As a victim and survivor of domestic violence, this is patently unfair, brutal, and feels hopeless.

As a performing artist, professional actor, and model, if I do not have the availability financially to travel when I *do* book an out-of-state gig, then I’m missing out on thousands of dollars of pay on a regular basis. I’ve been turning down availability checks at my agencies because I don’t have the room on credit cards to even fund those trips, trips that I would be able to write off on my taxes and previously have. As well, if I’m taking on a fourth or fifth job, I will have to restrict myself from ALL stage work and commercial work, as I won’t have the availability to take any of it on anymore. If I’m going to maintain my day and arts career, recover myself professionally, and hold my strong standing in the theatre scene, I desperately need your help. If every one of my Instagram followers was able to send me $100, I would end up with close to $220,000.00 in this GoFundMe. I know that is not possible, but any bit that you are able to donate helps. Anything earned above $15,000.00 will go toward further paying down debts, and if those debts are somehow paid off, I will openly communicate how I use any leftover funds to replace lost items and secure housing for myself.

Thank you.