Hello folks, I’m Rebecca Banky—a game store manager, community organizer, podcaster, and industry advocate. I’m also a transgender woman. I’ve created this GoFundMe to help with the resource challenges associated with that fact about my life.

I want to do good in the world. I want to be a force for kindness and understanding. I want to help people find passions, connect with community, and experience joy. I want to be a good advocate. Some of the things I’m asking for help with may come across as needs grounded in vanity, surface aspects of gender performance (and maybe to a point they are), but these changes would have an incredible impact both on my quality of life and on my ability to serve my community, especially in the public-facing roles where I think I can do the most good. 

Some of the costs of being trans in Canada are more commonly known, like gender-affirming medical care and therapy, while others are less obvious, like needing to replace an entire business-appropriate wardrobe all at once in your 30s.

What are some other costs that might surprise you? One is laser hair removal: most women don’t need to shave their faces every day but achieving this experience for trans women may cost thousands of dollars. Even legally changing my name and ID is an expensive and time-consuming process that has taken years so far and is not yet complete.

Everyone’s gender journey is personal, and all ways of being trans are valid. For me, affirming help with my voice is a big part of the journey. I do a lot of work over the phone, and I used to really enjoy podcasting in the gaming community. For both things, vocal dysphoria can be a big part of the experience. I’ve been working with an amazing speech therapist, and the work is going well, but it is expensive. Some trans folks do this work without professional support, but it can take a lot longer, and I want to spend my energy on podcasting, advocacy, and other ways of using my voice for the benefit of my community.

I’ve been an advocate and a support for a lot of folks answering gender questions over the last few years, especially in the gaming community. Some of this is informed by my own lived experience, some of it is through doing a lot of personal research, and some through my work in therapy. I’m seeing an amazing therapist right now who’s helping me untangle some complex and powerful questions, allowing me to better support my community while processing my own journey—something that’s never truly over. I don’t want to take on less of this labour and offsetting the cost of therapy leaves me better able to help others.

I love my life and who I am. I care a great deal about my community, my job, and the people around me. I’m proud of my experience as a trans woman. My story is one of joy and of self-discovery. What I’m asking for here isn’t pity for a life seen as lesser, but support for someone facing more costs than she might deserve, and who’d like to get out from under them so she can focus on doing good in the world.