Hi, I'm Pyr. I’m a disabled trans woman in Ohio, and I'm desperately trying to escape an unsustainable and toxic living situation. My current housing has become a mental health emergency that's affecting every aspect of my life.
My Current Situation
As of now, my ex-partner, their rabbit and I are crammed into a tiny room in a deteriorating house, with barely enough space to sleep on a futon. Our room is cluttered with boxes we can't unpack, and a rabbit cage taking up precious space. The rest of the house is in equally poor condition, with years of neglect resulting in serious maintenance issues.
My typical day includes:
- 8 hours at work
- 2 hours of transit
- 3-5 hours cooking for myself and my ex
- At best, 3 hours of "free time" on weekdays
These limited free hours are frequently disrupted by arguments with my ex-partner. If they become upset (which happens regularly), our entire schedule collapses. I then must provide emotional support, even as my own time disappears. This cycle of work, tense interactions, and chronic stress has become unsustainable.
The house belongs unofficially to our roommate, whose mother is our landlady. When I moved in, the property was in severe disrepair:
- Basement flooded and filled with unsanitary trash and animal feces
- Utilities broken (heater, gas, shower)
- Floors and walls deteriorating
- Health hazards throughout
Despite paying rent, I spend most of my free time cleaning and repairing the house. I single-handedly restored basic utilities and made the space livable, even with my own disabilities. Yet I'm regularly threatened with eviction if I don't continue extensive unpaid maintenance work.
The household dynamic is deeply dysfunctional:
- My roommate is verbally and emotionally abusive towards both my ex-partner and myself – threatening self-harm and suicide if I don’t work enough, if I don’t give them enough money, if the house isn’t cleaned on a tight schedule.
- They have spent the last ten years trashing our now shared home, verbally and physically assaulting their past partner.
- I was never told this context until we moved in, and now my ex and I are trapped with an unstable and volatile person, with their mother controlling our housing.
My ex-partner refuses to seek any alternative housing or employment, or any way out of our current living situation.
I'm constantly mediating conflicts while trying to maintain my own job, and manage my own disabilities and mental health.
My ex insists this precarious arrangement is "the best we can do," and discourages any attempt to find better housing or independence for myself. They restrict my social interactions, including any small amount of downtime I do get, and won’t let me pursue school instead of hard labor as a career path – claiming "being an adult means realizing you won't have time for most things,” and “life sucks and then you die.”
I'm physically and emotionally exhausted. I haven't had meaningful personal time in months. I can't pursue education, maintain friendships, or even plan for my future. My entire life has been forced to revolve around working myself to the bone at a 40 hour job, to accommodate and soothe any of my roommate’s discomforts, to beg and convince my landlady to not evict me on their arbitrary whim, and to be the omnipresent, omnipotent force of nature my ex needs me to be to feel safe.
My Path For Safety
I have a concrete opportunity for change. A friend with a trusted group of roommates in NYC has heard how bad things are here, and offered me a room in their apartment – I am aiming to leave early to mid-April, as soon as possible due to the urgency of my situation. They understand my situation and are willing to help, but I need to:
- Secure funds for the first month's rent
- Cover moving expenses to relocate quickly
- Have a small buffer until my first paycheck at a new job, for necessities and cost of living expenses
Finding work isn't a concern — I have a strong work ethic, relevant experience and skills, and have already started arranging job interviews for the next month once I get up to New York. The challenge is gathering enough funds to make the transition before my current situation deteriorates further.
Your contribution will directly fund:
- $1500 for first month's rent
- $250 for moving expenses
- $750 for basic necessities until first paycheck
Any amount helps me escape this toxic environment and rebuild my life. I don't take asking for help lightly, but I've exhausted all other options. I’m here, asking for any possible help with getting up there, any help with escaping this arrangement. Thank you for reading my story, and anything you could contribute will go a long way towards my safety and stability.
