Hi, I’m Amanda, Phil and Char's daughter. I created this page for my dad—and for our family—as we face a very difficult new reality.

In March, we discovered my dad has cancer. Over the last three months, we have learned that the cancer is stage 4, aggressive, somewhat rare, and has metastasized into his liver, lungs, gallbladder, lymph nodes, and other places. We still don’t know for sure where it originated. There’s no cure, only treatment. As many of us know, being sick in America is expensive, and my parents could really use some financial support as they navigate this journey. That’s why I started this GoFundMe—to give people who want to help a way to do just that.

A little background: Dad started experiencing random illnesses last November, which was unusual for him. In March, his former doctor pushed on his stomach, and it hurt. They did a scan that showed multiple lesions on his liver, a blood test, and an emergency room stay. We worried. I flew home, we pushed for answers, and we waited. I flew back to Rhode Island to prepare to return home when needed. He had a biopsy, which confirmed cancer. I flew back to Illinois a month later, thanks to the option to work virtually and wonderful colleagues. Once we had the diagnosis, we immediately transferred his care to Barnes-Jewish Hospital in St. Louis to connect with an oncologist. Dad has gotten amazing care. For those who know us, you’ll remember I spent a lot of time in St. Louis hospitals as a kid and young adult, and Mom's oncology care is here, so it is familiar, but no less overwhelming.

The last three months have been a rollercoaster of good days and really hard days—physically, mentally, and emotionally. Dad's health has declined rapidly. Mom and I have seen glimpses of Dad’s wit and humor peek through even on the toughest days, and his courage and strength shine every single day. In January, he was building houses as a volunteer at Habitat for Humanity, hiking, hosting themed dinners with Mom and friends, and traveling home from Rhode Island after visiting me and providing help with “dad jobs.” Now, he’s lost over 20 pounds and struggles with daily living tasks and, at times, communication. This is going to be a tough road for all of us.

With Dad and Mom’s permission, I started this campaign because in just 10 weeks, they’ve already faced over $2,500 in medical and related expenses. The cancer center in Southern Illinois, affiliated with Barnes-Jewish Hospital, can’t schedule Dad for at least another month, so traveling two hours to St. Louis for treatment is necessary.

As of mid-May, Dad has spent 17 days in the hospital in St. Louis. Mom and I have been staying at Barnes Lodge, the family housing near the hospital, which costs $70 a night. That adds up fast, along with gas, food, and special equipment to help Dad with daily living and comfort. For example, Medicare doesn’t cover bathroom aids like shower chairs, safety rails, or modified toilet seats—things that are essential but costly.

My folks have always been the ones to offer help, not ask for it. I often follow in their footsteps. But right now, we need community—friends, family, and even kind strangers—to help us shoulder this burden. Your donation will go directly toward:

• Travel and lodging costs for treatment in St. Louis

• Medical equipment and daily living aids not covered by insurance

• Meals and emergency expenses for our family as we care for Dad

My parents have touched so many lives—with care, compassion, encouragement, shelter, food, unconditional love, quirkiness, patience, and for Dad, his quiet smile, lending a tool, an act of service, a dad joke, and a kind hand on your shoulder that make you feel seen and loved. Asking for help isn’t his style, but here we are. If you can help, please do. Every little bit means the world.

Thank you for reading and for being part of our journey.

—Amanda (Phil & Char)