Help Peter Kane's fight against stage 4 cancer!!!

January 18, 2022, ~

"P-16 Positive Metastatic Squamous Cell Carcinoma."

 

My husband, Peter, the love of my life, had just read me the biopsy results he had of the lump on his neck. I heard nothing but static, white noise. I listened to my voice saying "No!" over and over. I immediately called My Mother, my rock.

 

"Mom, I can't breathe." I managed to say. She replied, "Before you do anything else, call Dana Farber and make an appointment to be seen.". It was not a suggestion. I called right away, desperate to start the fight! Dana Farber would set up some tests, and the team would see us on February 11th, which happened to be our 16th wedding anniversary.

 

As the afternoon passed, our emotions bounced all over the place. After a while, it was clear that one feeling kept surfacing~ gratitude. "We'll go to Dana Farber."~ Grateful for having the best cancer hospital relatively close by. "I am going to beat this!"~ Grateful for Peter's hope. "That's right, Peter. Remember P.A.C.E. Positive Attitude Changes Everything." ~ Grateful for that knowledge. "I will work now as much as I can, so we might be financially okay during the treatment when I can't work."~ Grateful for Peter's perseverance. "I will be right here beside you, every step of the way."~ Grateful for the incredible, indescribable love that we share. Pretty soon, gratitude and hope replaced fear and despair. As I said, that was January 18th. Since that day, we have known that keeping our positive attitude and focusing on gratitude would be essential to Peter's success. Peter often quotes the movie Shawshank Redemption. "You either get busy living, or you get busy dying."~ we choose to get busy living!

 

 

"Beidh gra agam duit ar feadh mo shaol ar fad tu, agus gan aon duine eile." ~ Gaelic

...... "I will love you my whole life, you and no other."

 

 

On November 7th, 2005, I met Peter at The Old Stone Church in Barre, MA. It was a Monday night Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting. When he spoke, I was immediately drawn to what he was saying. Over the next few months, Peter and I became good friends. We went on our first date, an AA comedy show, on January 14th, 2006. He asked me to marry him on January 28th, 2006. We were married two weeks later, on February 11th, 2006. I have genuinely never regretted being together for four weeks before getting married. After sixteen years, we are closer than ever. Our love for one another has grown deeper and sweeter each and every day that we are blessed to be together!

 

 

More than a badge~

 

Peter became a Police Officer after working for Himmer Ambulance and Worcester Emergency Medical Service. While working as a Police Officer in Barre, MA, Peter was also on the Northern Worcester County Drug Task Force and a D.A.R.E. Officer. Unfortunately, Peter was injured on duty. Not long after, pain medication began to run his life. Peter traded everything, friendships, possessions and the career he loved to chase anything that would change how he felt. In 2004 after finally hitting his bottom, Peter got sober. He was ashamed of who he had become. A while ago, Peter said, "I became a Police Officer to help people. However, I was terminated because I couldn't even help myself."

 

 

 

 

The bond of Law Enforcement Officers is a unique one. I learned this very young from my Dad, Al Daly. He was a Sergeant in Somerville, MA and then became a Massachusetts State Police Detective Lieutenant Inspector. He was an incredible man who had empathy for his "brothers and sisters," who struggled with their own demons. He and I were talking once about a fellow Somerville Police Officer who had passed away from the use and abuse of alcohol, and he said something that I have never forgotten. "Sweetheart, do you know what the phrase "There but for the grace of God go I" means? It means that it could have easily been me or any other Police Officer who fell from grace. It's easier to point out someone else's faults than to look at yourself. Always treat people how you want to be treated, not how you think they should be treated." Unfortunately, my Dad passed away many years before I met Peter. It comforts me that my Dad would have been proud of the man Peter has become~ the person he was meant to be before alcohol and drugs disrupted his life. Recently Peter said to me, "It's part of my story, but it isn't who I am. Rather than wasting time trying to undo the past, I aspire to be the best person that I can be today. It's nice to be comfortable in my skin and not get my self-worth from a badge I wore. I am more than that."

 

Clean and sober~

 

Peter has always gone to any lengths to help people. In Alcoholics Anonymous, Peter has the privilege of sponsoring several people. I am very proud of his compassion and patience toward the sick and suffering. It may sound corny....however, I often think how proud God must be of the man that Peter is.

 

In January 2021, we moved to Keene, NH. Our daughter, Sadie and her fiance, Jordan, welcomed a little boy, Elijah, on June 1st, 2021! We decided that it would be beneficial if we lived closer so that Peter and I could babysit while Sadie finishes pursuing her doctorate. Our son Drew and his fiancee, Dannielle, have blessed us with two beautiful grandsons! Silas is seven years old, and Zagan is two. We call them our "Three Musketeers"!! Peter is the best Grampy~ the boys are crazy about him!!

 

 

Silas is trying out a mustache! He wants one just like Grampy!

 

 

Grampy and Zagan are cuddling!

 

 

 

..... The youngest Three Musketeer, Elijah!

 

We are so blessed. Our cup runneth over. We have beautiful children, and the people they chose to navigate life with, Dannielle and Jordan, are lovely too!

 

Life with stage 4 cancer~

 

Since Peter's diagnosis, life has been surreal. We have been taking life one moment at a time. Peter had surgery on February 28th, 2022. He had his right tonsil and 24 lymph nodes in his neck and shoulder removed, along with pieces of the roof of his mouth and tongue. Unfortunately, one of the lymph nodes had cancerous cells that escaped into Peter's body. The spread of those cancerous cells made Peter need chemotherapy with radiation for seven weeks. Those seven weeks are just ending. On August 24th,2022, Peter will have another full-body scan to see if more treatment is necessary. Currently, Peter is nauseous and extremely tired. The chemotherapy and radiation have caused his immune system to be almost non-existent. Every week his blood tests seem to be improving slowly but surely. Dr. Hanna, Peter's Oncologist, wants Peter to concentrate on healing until his scan in August. We pray that the treatment he has already endured will be enough. Staying positive is so very important right now~

 

Peter right after surgery.

 

Peter now...

 

As you can see, the radiation burned Peter's neck badly. The inside of his mouth is also entirely burned. It will just take time to heal. Thankfully, we have many beautiful people offering prayers for us. Peter has said he feels their prayers! We just need to have patience and prayers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why we need a Go Fund Me~

 

When Peter was diagnosed in January, he worked as much as possible. However, his boss at Fed-Ex thought Peter should be home resting! Despite Peter's objections, Peter went from working 40 hours per week down to 18 hours per week. Between the numerous prescriptions, rent, car payments, car insurance, utilities, cell phones etc., we are broke! Most expensive of all is gas to drive back and forth from Keene, NH, to Boston, MA, a 174-mile round trip five days per week! Thinking about the amount that we owe for medical bills makes me nauseous! Our monthly expenses are around $3300. The Go Fund Me amount includes about three months of expenses and our $7,500 out-of-pocket insurance expense. God willing, Peter's PET scan on August 24th will be cancer-free. We will find out the results on August 26th. In the meantime, Dr. Hanna, Peter's Oncologist, has told us that Peter needs to focus on healing.

 

Peter's immune system is so compromised that returning to work is not an option. Our financial situation is causing significant stress for us. It is challenging to focus on healing while we are so worried about money. We have been praying and offering our difficulties up to God.

 

I admire Peter's courage, his optimism and his faith. We have been so blessed- even with all of our recent challenges. Over the last few months, Peter has often told me, "Honey, there are people at Dana Farber who were told today, "We are sorry. There is nothing more that we can do." As long as that wasn't me, I am doing great!"