If you already know us, you don't need the full recap. What you need to know is this: after years of struggling toward stability, everything is hitting at once. We're reluctantly asking for help because we have no other way through.

Last month was intense, to say the least.

We started the month still heavy from the unexpected loss of Paul's little sister at the end of March. Grief is expensive in ways people don't always talk about: meals out, grocery delivery, extra gas, the energy tax of just surviving. It all adds up fast when you are already running on fumes.

We did some car repairs. Then the toilet broke, and sewage ran into the yard. Shit! (literally.) Thanks to the generosity of loved ones, we have a working toilet! The yard still needs remediation, though.

Near the end of the month, the car broke down entirely. After a diagnostic, it was clear that a replacement would cost less than a repair. This is not a small thing for a one-income household that's been treading water for a long time.

And then there’s Paul. My sweet music teacher man with the world on his shoulders. When I say he never gets a day to fully rest, I mean it. About two years ago, we had to let go of my home care aide (mostly for financial reasons) and everything she used to do fell to Paul. He works. He cares for me. He holds this entire household together, and he has done it without complaint and without enough support for a long, long time. I watch him go without and push himself when he has nothing left to give. I worry about him constantly. The only thing I know to do at this point is to ask for help.

With Paul in his busiest season of the year, the house is in a state of mess that is actively worsening my physical and mental health. We need to bring in someone to help. I’d like to bring someone in for the month of May, which would likely cost us around $600.

We’re also going to need to bring someone out for sewage remediation in the yard, as well as yard cleanup in general (our lawnmower is broken). Estimates on this are around $500.

My story (for those who don't know us)

I have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, POTS, and Mast Cell Activation Disorder; conditions I'd unknowingly lived with my whole life, but weren't fully diagnosed until 2022. I became severely debilitated in 2010 with no answers. By 2018, I couldn't sit up or stand without passing out. I spent years in a darkened room, too sensitive to light, sound, and scent to function; surviving on three safe foods, communicating mostly through hand taps. Despite finally starting the treatments that would save my life, a severe bleed from a surgery in 2022 left my body weaker and even more malnourished than before. I temporarily lost my vision from the severity of it.

On October 31st, 2023, Paul loaded my limp body into the back of our car and drove several hours to the Cleveland Clinic. I came home with an NJ tube. In March 2024, it became a g-tube. I slowly rebuilt from 90 lbs (at 5'9").

Today I'm 140 lbs. I still primarily use my wheelchair and am lucky to leave the house once a week; but I can speak, I can sit up for hours, I can walk in small sessions. I can participate in the parts of life I missed most. I'm working to care for my mind and body in ways my abusive upbringing never allowed for.

I'm currently seeing my physical therapist only every three weeks, despite being in the middle of relearning how to walk. I'm in two forms of therapy and have been held back from progressing in EMDR because the continual crisis of our life keeps consuming the energy I need to actually heal.

Where we are now

We've been surviving on community generosity for years. We've applied and been rejected for disability, and even with legal aid, we don't currently meet the threshold to apply. We know people are tired. We're tired too. We truly would not be asking if we had any other way through this. But we don't, right now.

We've been through worse; it's no secret. But this isn't sustainable, and we'd be lying if we said otherwise. If you can help in any way, it would mean everything. Donations of any amount make a direct difference, but even sharing this with your own circles matters more than you know.

Estimated Cost

Car (down payment + associated costs) | ~$4,000

Housekeeping | ~$400–$600

Yard care + sewage remediation | ~$500

Total Goal:

$5,000

And at the end of the day:

We're still just two best friends, giggling at the same bizarre shit, and falling in love with each other over and over again. We've held onto each other through everything. We're still here. But we need a bridge to get to the other side of this one.