Help Park Ridge single mom with stage 4 cancer

PLEASE “Start” BY READING THE MOST RECENT UPDATE “first”. Thank you.  Hello, my name is Heather. My children and I have lived in Park Ridge for nearly 2 decades. You might know Ellis from Emerson or Maine South. Aidan just graduated from Maine South. An was at Maine South too! We love the school system. We love everything here. We moved here by mistake, but stayed for the sense of community. We’ve made incredible memories in the Park Ridge Community. The kids loved VBS & Sunday school at South Park Church, I’ve loved volunteering in the classes or nursery for church or MOPS. Ellis was a “MOPS” baby. He’s a Freshman now! I met a lot of amazing people from volunteering at the church & scouts rummage sales. The local “buy nothing group” has helped me meet and get to know even more people in the community. I love the growing diversity in our community. I have more people to play Holi with! I love walking and watching the dogs and pets in town. I miss your doggos so much! (Shout out to all my doodles!) I love the way it’s so easy to connect with people in Park Ridge. If you don’t know me, you probably know someone that knows me! I love this community. And I want to stay… But I have (late) stage IV colorectal cancer. Cancer that should have been diagnosed and treated aggressively over 3.5 years ago. But they didn’t find it until May of 2022 & I didn’t get treatment until July of 2022. We’ve been playing beat the clock ever since then. After being ignored by medical professionals for 2 months after they knew my body had been invaded by metastatic cancer; I arrived at Rush Hospitals ER in critical condition. I was admitted and immediately scheduled for port placement and an aggressive chemotherapy regime. I was too sick to drive, so it’s been $100.00 Uber rides to the city multiple times a week. Sometimes I can get a medical-car, but it was usually Uber. Now it often needs to be by ambulance. I got through round 1 of 16 cycles of Folfox Chemotherapy on my own. The outcome: no improvement. Biopsy of lymph nodes: malignant. So I was immediately sent for daily radiation and chemotherapy. I’ve already been hospitalized for my chemotherapy being too strong and whipping out my numbers. Now everything in my body is starting to need help to work. There is a pill for each bodily function. I am getting my nutrients and liquid via my port. I am often in isolation because my numbers are toast. I am absolutely exhausted and I had no idea cancer would be so physically painful. It’s invaded my muscles so it’s been absolutely debilitating. I’m trying to manage this on my own. Does anyone do this on their own at this stage? I was just released after 12 days in the critical care unit. I had only been home from the hospital briefly in December and a couple of weeks in January. I’m spending more time in the hospital than at home. My kids are too far away to visit. I can’t afford the Uber for them. There is a hotel we cold stay at, steps from the hospital for $65.00 per night, but that too is out of budget with the extraordinary & necessary expenses. I’m so sad that I have spent so much time alone & away from my children because we’re trying to save money for my treatment. I feel like they have already been robbed of a mother these past months and I’m not even gone yet. I’m still receiving treatment, so I don’t qualify for hospice, based on that, not how sick I am, because you can’t really get much sicker than this. It’s a daily battle for me now. My medication is so complex, I don’t trust going into a nursing home without having family or people to have eyes on me and advocate for my care. I don’t have that. There isn’t any facility that can take on my level of care in my insurance network anyway. And most importantly, treatment has not been effective thus far. I was in critical condition when I first got diagnosed. I don’t know how much time I have. I want to spend it with my kids. They are all I have!!! I am all they have. I need to get them prepared for a future with or without me. I was sent home on TPN via my port and supposed to receive home healthcare. My insurance has denied the claim and I am having to pay out of pocket. I cannot make payments for help or supplies until I have payment. The other supplies, services, and expenses for me to be released to my home with home healthcare have been placed on credit cards. This is all an unexpected and extraordinary amount of expense at a time when I am truly at my weakest. NO TPN= NO FOOD OR LIQID CONSUMPTION. I’m literally starving to death in addition to the cancer. I have been doing this all on my own since spring of 2022. I have been unable to work since than & paying so many of these expenses out of pocket. No regular person could afford this alone. It’s mathematically implausible. My health has continued to decline since my diagnosis. I desperately need help, yesterday… months ago! I’m begging. My children desperately need your help. My cats desperately need your help. If I can get through this, I have one window of time where I can try clinical trials and alternative or additional treatments after this round of chemo -radiation. Please help me get there. Let me get a shot at one of those!  Note: As of 5/25/2023, just a little over a year from my initial dx, I am now in “that window” mentioned above. I am also preparing, just in case, you know, the practical things, mini bucket list = spending as much time as possible this summer with my youngest and being able to do some things with him & make joyful feelings & memories. He wants to go to the sushi with a conveyer belt & International McDonald’s. I’m not having any sort of funeral, I’m thinking of donating my body for both organ donation as  much as allowable and I need enough funds to have my cremated remains turned into glass stones (a very inexpensive option). Then funds for the 22 yo to get started with fully caring for and supporting his minor brother & get him off to college & be his “person” forever. I’m trying to keep costs down & make sure my passing doesn’t cost anyone anything or inconvenience anyone. It feels so bad to not know how to be sick cheaper. It feels so selfish to want to live when it costs to much!  What do I do? Thank you friends! Love, Heather “Sukhi” Stern