Hi all. I really hate doing this and it’s really bothering me to do it. I’m embarrassed and feel worthless and useless.

In July and August, we had two weeks out of 7 weeks with water. The well dried out and fried the pump. I had to use bottled water for everything and it got too expensive. Well repair was close to $7K, which I had to borrow and wipe out what I had for emergencies in my account. I literally have nothing right now, and my income since losing Lukah has been very small, which didn’t help things at all. On top of the exorbitant vet costs spent on my baby boy Lukah and his death, I just cannot recover. I have some medical bills that I’ve pushed further and further out, but now I am stuck this month with costs I can’t afford.

I tried to get a grant for the well, but it takes so long to go through and fund, and doing that, we would possibly not have any water until months from now. With dogs and people here, we could not do that. I had to spend everything on bottled water for them and myself. But mostly them. I can go without, but they will not.

I am very mentally fragile still from my loss and am struggling, and with that struggle, it’s getting worse for me. I’m already on the edge of life or death these days.

I see docs. I take the meds. I make sure the dogs' needs are met before my own because I don’t even care about myself anymore.

I know it’s no one's fault but my own life circumstances, and I’d never ask for myself, but right now, I need to catch up on bills that are very late before stuff is shut off. I have the receipt from the well as well as receipts for all the water I had to buy, the plastic forks and knives, and paper plates. As well as my Brain MRI bill and Dental bill.

My credit cards that were all paid off are now maxed out beyond their limit, causing very, very high interest rates. I had no choice. I had to buy food, pay for water, and everything else that got screwed up over all this shit this year. 2023 has been the worst year of my life and it’s getting worse. Financially, mentally, and physically. My anxiety is off the charts and the meds only help if I take too many and then I just want to sleep.

I can’t do this anymore. If you can help, please let me know. Please don’t think poorly of me for having to do this. I just don’t know what to do.