The past month has been my biggest fear slowly coming to life. A fear I didn’t think I would have to face for a long time.

Often when I told people I had a Great Dane, the first thing I’d hear is, “oh, they don’t live long, do they?” And I—who read all the books, had genetic testing done, did the preventative surgery, fed the best food, etc. would always think, “Not my dog. I did everything right. He’s going to live a long time.”

Yesterday, at 5 years old, Odin was officially diagnosed with T-cell high grade lymphoma. A highly aggressive form of cancer with no known real cause.

Without treatment, he may only live another month. I’m not ready to say goodbye.

There are multiple treatment options for lymphoma. The gold standard is CHOP, a highly effective chemotherapy protocol that can extend life expectancy to over two years. Unfortunately, at Odin’s size, CHOP would cost roughly $14,000, which realistically isn’t an option for me.

But there is a less intensive chemotherapy option that could give us another 6–8 months. The cost for that would involve 5 rounds of treatment at $1500 each, totaling $8000.

I know that’s a lot of money for what might only be half a year, but Odin is my life, and I’m not ready to lose him yet. With this treatment, we could have one last really good summer together. I can tell myself that is enough.

I’m the kind of person who does everything on my own, and I’ve been pretty okay with that. I live alone, I work alone, I go on trips alone. But I have Odin. He’s my “someone” in a world that would otherwise be very lonely. However, we really need help. Even just getting to the point of a diagnosis has cost me nearly $2000, and I don’t know how much more I can do by myself.

If you’ve met Odin, you know he’s a really special dog. He’s the one thing in my life I am most proud of, and I know without a doubt that I did a really good job being his mom for the past 5 years.

Even if it’s ending like this, I still feel like one of the luckiest people in the world to have had him by my side for this long.

If you’re able to donate or share, it would mean more to me than I can put into words.

Ive never loved anything as much as I love that damn dog.