Help Me Get Back On My Feet : I Want To Help Ppl Again

Update May 2025:

Yes, I really have been living out of my car, with my cat for the past year after being raped and robbed by acquaintances and “family.”

my *mother Veronica & my cousin’s male friend, Lindsey Davis Sullivan- (may not be real name) impersonated me in order to ruin my relationship(s) & steal from me.

They did a lot of it while I was recovering from hospital with amnesia. My *mother has been trying to fatally harm me since I was 3. She has been coming on to my love interest since I was still a very young minor. She has also been stealing the things that I’d worked for with my own money since I was 8 (with my own bracelet making business that was extremely successful-I even had an “employee,” -lol a good friend at the time).

I’ve been working that long because I didn’t want to deal with her blowing up at me if I needed something, or her never being home & me needing to eat or have field trip money, or her holding things I needed over my head in order to win an argument or manipulate me.

No:

•I am not a drug addict- I’ve been completely sober for the past 3 years, not even coffee. Before I was sober, I noted I’d started drinking a bit too much bc of the pandemic. I took pills to commit suicide once I realized who my loved ones had been sleeping with after my 15 yo dog died, ( I also had people stalking me & trying to frame me for something I didn’t do in order to “get rid of me” and or replace me with my mother or another option from my acquaintances). I also tried again when I woke up after being raped and my mother purposefully sent me a text to push me over the edge. Something along the lines of: “Luke Spiller is married with his wife & kids in Liverpool.”

it was bad because all the years of wasted love plus, I’d been being tormented & had my new love interest deterred and eventually slept with.

I’d rather be dead than have my only option be Jason Fuller - who kept coming on to me without my consent, wouldn’t leave me alone, mentioned he’d kill my boyfriend if I ever got a new one & ultimately, just wouldn’t take “no” for an answer.

•I am not a prostitute:

My mother wants to force me into prostitution. She resented the fact that I was independent, studious, well behaved, and talented. She liked to derail things I’d enjoy and succeed at. She planned to exploit and human traffic me after sending inappropriate things to the men that I was interested in, and after sleeping with my ex in order to gain access to me. She wanted to film me being raped and agreed to it because she thought it would make her like Kris Kardashian (my mother is extremely violent and mentally ill) . She killed 2 birds with one stone by exploiting me and ruining my reputation, making it more difficult to get help once my memories returned.

•I am not a pedophile:

A few people thought I was rich; my lil sis and her family, my cousins, some fans from the strutters group…but I’ve worked, legitimately for every dime and everything I had since I was 8, sometimes at 2+ shitty retail, hospitality, or service industry jobs.

People have tried to exploit me for money and told lies about me. I’ve literally received messages from “friends” and “family” alike…after trying to help them, saying, “Come on, I know you’ve got money…” or “I know you’ve got more than that.”

I was literally trying to balance on not falling apart because I had jobs that would cut my pay (wage theft style) or steal my commissions.

My mother and my ex Jason used my old computer(s) to search for inappropriate things after I was either done using them because I’d brought a new one or away at school. They were both in my each of my Chicago apartment(s) at some point, unsupervised, within the last few years. The worst thing you’ll find in my search history is “Male Solo.”

I am an adult (albeit a severely traumatized one now) but an adult nonetheless …that has a grownup attraction to other grownups. That’s it. I’m boring. *shrugs*

INSTAGRAM PROFILE

Update 4/17/25

I am sober & celibate since my rape & attempted murder in January of 2022. After my amnesia broke, my life, finances, & recovery began to be sabotaged.

I have been homeless since I was evicted after being physically harassed on the job at Bank of America. I was hanging on by a thread, then my Event photography job stopped scheduling me.

I haven’t done anything for so many miscommunications & attacks on my life other than someone must have either told extremely harmful lies about me to the right people, & or have been openly impersonating me in order to harm me & ruin my life. The last time I saw my mother in person, she was having several plastic surgery procedures & I was helping her get home after her tummy tuck.

She was also treating a female impersonator that seemed obsessed with me pretty much not being in my apartment ever, as her son.

I’m angry at myself for having a moment of sadness and vulnerability at the death of my 15 year old dog. If I had been stronger & not accepted the stuffed animal of her & cupcakes from my ex after her death just before my birthday, I probably wouldn’t be in this mess.

(I know what you’re thinking, & no. I was very verbally clear that I had no interest in him & that we wouldn’t be getting back together since our breakup in 2012. He had most likely been drugging me over a long period of time through stints of cycling back into contact because of life events. I stopped seeing him as husband material a long time ago & told him to stop spending money on me, which he’d always refuse to do. I have a feeling he just used it as an excuse to paint me as the villain and play the victim because he was jealous & didn’t want me to ever move on & be happy. He would always respond with, “I know, but…” the only reason I broke no contact was because I needed his signature for my car tile for my college car so that I could sell it, that & Tissa’s death. - I swear I watched him sign that title after he slept with a second (as in additional) assistant manager of his & I moved out…but I stayed with my mother for a few months prior to getting my condo of 10 years so it could have been switched out then. I’m pretty sure he was drugging me over a long period of time & he admitted to sleeping with my mother just before the EMTs ripped me out of my condo & threw me in the hospital. He told me my mothers plan was to get rid of me for good by locking me away & or me becoming a ward of the state by placing me in an asylum or something. She’s been trying to end me since I can remember and made me suicidal as a preteen)

Emergency Cost Breakdown:

$1000 for new breaks, emergency car repairs

$1100 storage

$200 for gas

$300 for vet bill

$5,000 for temporary warm/safe pet friendly shelter after being unhoused - because I was 2 weeks late with rent during recovery from being hospitalized. suffering a lease non-renewal while waiting for my first unemployment deposit. I’ve been homeless for a year on the 19th & I’ve tried every route to get help & applied to several several jobs with no results.

-$40,000 for other past due loans from resulting subsequent financial abuse.

Let me preface my seemingly cheerful tone in my story by being real & with you…I’m in this position in life because the people that I took care of in life repaid me by stealing from me, raping me, taking advantage of my amnesia and screwing me over. I’m exhausted because I’ve been juggling advocating for myself (I’ve gotten nowhere because it’s been sabotaged), trying to find housing & staying safe, cleanly, & warm, trying to stay fed, & not completely falling apart with all of the returning memories from my brutal rape & attempted murder/the murder of my 15 year old dog, Tissa.

I find it hard to know who to trust & I’m aware that my rapists & abusive mother partnered & are laughing at me/holding me back from receiving any justice. My mother wanted to see me in this situation in life because she hated my independence & the fact that I loved anyone but her. She texted me hinting that she’d slept with a psychotic & covertly abusive ex boyfriend of mine, all while begging me to tell her that I love her & saying that she wanted my unconditional love, as though she was jealous of my existence recent love interests that failed because of her actions.

I’m completely exhausted.

People paid to harm me & ruin my life.

My heart is broken & I just need some help in order to get back on my feet.

Original Post

Hi! My name is Octavia!

I am not normally one to ask for help…but recently I've been put in a situation where I have no choice. I was assaulted in my apartment while trying to sleep. I’d been being drugged w/o my consent over a long period of time. I am almost 3 years sober, celibate, but I’ve been homeless since April 2024. I faced a major unprovoked pay cut at my “9-5” (I’d actually work 9am-10pm) & a roll back in gigs at my secondary photography job. I was on unemployment, but it only lasted 5 mo & I didn’t really hear back from anything while I was trying to additionally find a safe place to stay. I just so happened to also face major car repairs that ate up my unemployment this summer alongside snap benefit issues. I asked a friend to help me with a gofund me when my car first broke down this summer & it went well, so I figured that I’d finally give it a try. I have another emergency car repair & several bills that are heartbreakingly important & past due. I am still currently homeless & living in my car with my sweet rescue kitty « Slash . »

He is an ESA & a trained service kitty. I flashed back to seeing cats slammed in cages, so depressed from connections being severed & being abandoned, & I’d remembered when I promised never to do that to him when he first came into my life. I tried my best to prevent our homelessness situation by working 2 jobs, but my 9-5 cut my pay without warning or supplementary pay & my side photography gig stopped scheduling.

I was pretty much evicted for being late on a payment while waiting for unemployment through non-renewal of the lease, I did’t have any money for a new security deposit because of the situation with both of my jobs…this landed us in a dire situation. I called homelessness prevention programs but was only met with dead-ends or having to call in circles with no results. I’ve been trying to sell my valuables that weren’t stolen from my apartment or agreed upon storage since January, but it hasn’t been very successful.

I promised my cat when I scooped him up as a stray that I’d try to give him the best life & I’d never abandon him in a shelter. We were lucky this week because it was warm, but we are low on gas & funds & I’m beginning to get really worried as we start to face the colder months.

My Story:

I recently tried to heal any of my hangups so that I could be the best partner to a new love interest that I could be. I was looking to get married & really be somebody’s partner. I noticed a sweeping detachment & infidelity trend in modern dating & I wasn’t up for having any of that on my end.

I had to go back to my first memory of my mother & I realized that it was an extremely violent one. I started to realize that she’d been covertly derailing my life. I have been working since 8, legally since 15, asked to be emancipated at 17 and on my own working 2 or more jobs since 18. She was jealous of my career & relationships & never really celebrated any of my wins. She only really contacted me to ask for favors or ask me for material things. She also stole a lot of my collectibles & clothing that I paid for with my own money growing up.

As a kid, she’d always ask me to pay rent when I was working in order to not have to bother her for anything that I needed or wanted. I started to become successful and she wanted all of my things & my romantic partners. It started pretty much around that time that I hit puberty. I realized that this was a pattern of hers thinking back. I also realized that if she’d done anything nice for me, she’d hold it over my head in order to manipulate me. I had become suicidal. I had to think back to the first time I felt that way, & it was when I was around 14, because of my mother.

I realized that things had gotten extremely dark and she’d been secretly inappropriately messaging and having intimate interactions with people I’d dated or was romantically interested in. She also gained information about my job that I hadn’t shared with her through a manager that had been harassing me, she then threatened to come to my workplace & the levels of harassment I’d received only escalated from that point forward. I ended up having to walk out after one of my managers physically threatened me in the workplace.

I also realized that she gotten plastic surgery to look like me & also had plotted to get rid of me for good. This was information I’d received based on an exes confession centered around her retirement from the SSA. I tried to contact the authorities about the physical and electronic breaches in my privacy spawned by her & my ex’s concerning behavior, as well as any and all triggers, but nothing much really came of it. They ended up rendering me unconscious and taking advantage of the situation in order to hospitalize me, rob, & assault me. My unwavering sobriety helped me realize that I was also assaulted by an orderly in the hospital after being given an evening sedative. It seemed like they wanted it to go much further than it had prior to hospitalizing me.

I was heavily sedated in hospital & my phones were taken by my mother. I was released with severe amnesia & into the care of my abuser(s). It seems that these are the reasons why they ended up ultimately taking advantage of my resulting amnesia & putting in motion the events to derail my career and livelihood to its current status.

I’ve been trying so hard for so long & I am exhausted. Again I don’t normally ask for help, because I’ve usually been hyper independent…but I’m also physically exhausted because I’ve been sleeping in a seated position for a few months now & am currently facing escalating health concerns because of it. These funds will help with a safe, warm place to sleep until I can find something more permanent for us, emergency bills, pet supplies, gas, & car repairs. Thank you❤️‍