Help Nancy Rest In Peace

"Fancy Nancy" was an original. Some of my earliest memories are of her. She was my grandmother and one of my best friends. My grandfather, brother and I are truly devastated by her loss. She was a constant in all of our lives and we find ourselves rudderless without her.

She was born in 1932 in Stafford Springs Connecticut to her father, George, and her mother, Daisy. She started out life as an original - the only girl of 9 children. As George became a troubleshooter for the area woolen mills, he moved her family to Norwich in 1942.
 
Only a couple weeks after moving, Nancy spotted a boy sitting on the curb, doodling in the stray sand with a stick across the street from her new home. She told her mother that day, that's the boy I'm going to marry". His name was Stanley. She did throw her engagement ring back at him during a heated argument, and did proceed to go on a date with his brother to make him jealous, but on June 28, 1952, she did indeed marry Stanley. They had a service at Trinity Church in Norwich and gathered on the family farm for a celebration after.


In July 1953, Nancy gave birth to a preemie baby girl after developing toxemia during pregnancy. At just 4+ pounds, my mother, and my grandparents light came into the world. Nancy was the best of friends with my mother. I grew up seeing my grandmother nearly every day; she came over every morning for coffee with my mom. They watched soap operas together and we were at each other's houses for dinner practically every other day. They even had a secret phone ring so the other would know who was calling. (This was obviously long before caller ID or even answering machines).


In 1977, Stanley and Nancy celebrated their silver wedding anniversary with a huge celebration given by their daughter at the Sheraton in Norwich. They danced the night away, Stanley whirling her around the ballroom with the occasional dip (I know, I've seen the video). I was born just 2 weeks later. Being so close to her anniversary, she has always called me her "silver baby". My brother came along in 1981 and together, she loved us both fervidly. Until her last days, she lit up like a firefly whenever she saw us; most especially when she saw Adam. I was her "favorite grand-daughter" and Adam her "favorite grand-son"; conveniently, we were the only ones as well.

Nancy worked in retail, clothes specifically. She worked in the childrens department of Styles in Norwich and then moved to the fine dress department of various stores in the Crystal Mall (I benefited greatly from each). All year, she would shop and hide presents for her favorite holiday - Christmas. She adored everything about it - the delicate New England snowfalls, decorated trees, glistering lights, printed wrapping paper, and most especially, the giving. She gave effortlessly to everyone, throughout the year, but Christmas was a time to go crazy.


The first Sunday after Thanksgiving was our family's time to hike through fields of would-be Christmas trees for hours, only to come back to one of the orphaned homely ones she had thrown a stick into to "mark" shortly after our arrival. She would dress that tree up like a Broadway show, never realizing it was the humble shrub she had Stanley haul into the house. Her entire home became a metropolis of lighted ceramic snow cottages and villages. She single-handedly presented a feast of turkey, stuffing, vegetables, and homemade fruit-cup (which I suspect was "spiked", as we never ate it as children). It almost felt like an injustice to open presents, as she had arranged them around the tree as if she were preparing a department store window.



For years, our little extended family celebrated all holidays, events, weddings, graduations, dance recitals, and birthdays together - Nancy always dressed in some form of red jacket or coat, towing her enormous flash camera and over-sized purse. The camera documented all of these events and the purse was ultra convenient when she saw a salt and pepper set or small serving dish she liked at a restaurant. The red jacket? Well, that was just her signature. She just loved anything red.



In 2013 Nancy battled cancer and spent six weeks in the ICU on life support. Stanley never left her side and never gave up hope that she would come home. Although weakened, frail and with her mind showing true symptoms of Alzheimer's disease, she did come home. My mom moved in with her and Stanley to help with her care. Unfortunately, within a year or so, Stanley would suffer a debilitating brain injury and her daughter would suddenly die of an aneurysm. Nancy was devastated. Without hesitation, I quit my job, moved in with her, kept her company and took care of her.

I quite literally, sat next to her every day for months. She would share stories of her life with me, and we would reminisce. She told me how she lead the schoolhouse bully out to the middle of a frozen pond and left them there crying when she was all of 7 years old. I talked of how I still remembered how she taught me to make her Polish perogies and famous "slop" (a delectable soupy mixture of meat and veggies). She spoke of her brothers, who had all already passed; how they raised her bike up to the top of a flag pole once, but also how they protected her, sent her gifts from overseas during WW2, and how they lit up her mother's house with dirty jokes, piano playing and laughter.



I confided everything in her. How I desperately I missed my mother, how much I loved her, and how I was happy to spend time with her. She talked of her mother, and her daughter and how the loss of them leaves a space which can never be filled.

In time, Nancy moved into assisted living with her husband, Stanley. They were always meant to be together. They lived a long, and beautiful life by each others side. Stanley could speak few words, but sill looked at her as he always did - like she was the only person in the room - his "Honson", his "Marylin".



My grandmother is one of the reasons I am who I am. She was a beautiful, happy soul who loved unconditionally and gave all she could, whenever she could. I only wish I could do the same for her now. Nancy passed away on May 15, 2020 after contracting Covid-19, and I am left with yet another hole in my heart. I have lost and buried both my mom and father within a few years, and have had to pay for their funerals. My savings is now depleted and my family is struggling to find funds for Nancy's end of life care. She gave so much to me, I only want to be able to take care of her now.

I have secured a burial plot for her and Stanley, next to their beloved daughter Nanette.
Any donations you so generously choose to give will pay for:

- her funeral home expenses
- the opening of her grave
- a casket
- a modest donation to her church for a graveside prayer

Due to her cause of death, a funeral service will not be arranged, and she must be placed to rest as soon as possible.

If you are able to donate toward her final arrangements, my family and I would be touched, and she would have been most grateful.  She would call you a sweetheart, place her hand on your cheek, and say "Oh, God love ya".