. Introduction

This is Tara, my sister. She's also one of the most beautiful souls I have ever known. She's a truly selfless individual who has helped others through the most difficult of times. This time, I want to see if others can help her. 

I am trying to raise money in order to get her into the residential treatment she so badly wants in order to help her. 

Hi! My name is Katie, and I really appreciate you coming here to see this. I am currently trying to save money in order to help my family get my sister into residential treatment for her mental illness, depression. She's no longer able to function normally through life, and feels it's a necessity at this point. We are terrified of going forward without being able to do this for her. But my father is out of a job and to say my family cannot afford it is an understatement.

. Tara's Story

My sister Tara is a loving soul who's probably the biggest Frozen fan you'll ever meet and the foremost expert on Demi Lovato. She also has a beautiful singing voice that she uses as part of the Nami Dupage choir for mental illness. 

Tara has been suffering from extreme depression and anxiety for over 8 years. It's gotten to such an extreme before that she's been institutionalized twice. She also has a very rare mental handicap called non-verbal learning disability (NVLD) that has hindered her ability to retain memory and learn as fast as others do. Despite all of this, she's dedicated her life to helping others wade through mental illness. I can think of many times she's recounted someone saying that she helped save them from the brink. She's the sort who will sacrifice her own happiness in order to help others. If anyone announces that they're suffering, she'll be the first to DM them and help them get through it. 

Her dream is to become a psychologist, and although that's not possible for her yet (being unable to leave the house at times or attend school) she still volunteers at Nami Dupage to help raise money for mental health. She'll do anything to help people fight through depression and anxiety. 

But I'm not sure I myself have ever seen more suffering than what she goes through. In her mind, she's fighting a losing battle; defending herself from a monster that has no form and no weakness. I love my sister more than anyone. To say we are close is an understatement. We can finish each other's sentences, joke in ways other people would find obscure, cite movie references and make each other laugh the way no other can. For the last 8 years, I've watched my sister fake her way through life. She says she hasn't been truly happy since it all started in 2011. 

She hates herself, she hates her life and she's been ready to give up more than once. I don't want to trigger those who might read this, but she wanted me to spare no details for those who are willing to read it: She's contemplated suicide many times (Had a plan twice) and we've come to a point now where she experiences urges so strongly that we have to take her out into the freezing snow barefoot in order to shock her body back to life. We're unable to leave her alone for more than a minute and we even had to buy a lockbox for all of our medication to keep her safe. 

To make matters worse, her therapist believes she may have drug-resistant depression at this point. She's tried every medication under the sun and nearly every treatment available. She was even approved for Ketamine a few months ago, but even that failed to help her. Despite all of this, however, she's a warrior. She never stops fighting with every breath in her body. I've seen the exhaustion in her eyes; the way she shuts down, staring blankly into nothing, becoming unresponsive to anyone who calls her name. It's been a horrible journey for her, but we never want to give up. 

However, recently, everything has escalated to a point that she no longer feels she can resist. My family is terrified to say the least. She and her psychologist believe that she's ready for her second time in residential treatment, a practice in which she stays at a special location with others going through the same battle. We won't see her for a month, but we know it'll be worth helping her regain much of her strength. 

Tara herself, though extremely shy, wanted to write a section for this page coming from her directly. The following are her words:

"My depression is so severe I spend hours laying on the couch, unable to move because I have a heaviness in me that I can’t shake and it leaves me unable to function. When it escalates my speech is slowly taken away from me and I stare into the unknown feeling like I don’t exist or filled with thoughts of ending my life. Often I’ll go into a state where I’m almost catatonic

Recently, each day my suicidal thoughts become so loud screaming at me to the point where my body physically creates an urge to harm myself. It is a feeling so strong I have to clench my hands to keep myself from acting on my thoughts. It has become so severe that I have to now go outside barefoot in the freezing cold sometimes walk in the snow to shock my body into a regulatory state again. Sometimes that’s not enough and I have to come inside then home ice cold ice packs in my hands till my hands are frozen and burning with pain from the frigid cold again to shock my body back to a normal state and then if that’s not enough I do three 45-second planks. This is almost every night or day. It’s absolutely exhausting. Once my body is emotionally and physically drained I can then pass out and fall asleep. I’m literally in a crisis almost everyday. Then hours later my body physically aches from being in the on an off crisis state."

Watching my sister go through this has been painful. But I can't even begin to imagine what it's been like for her. I want to try and help her get what she needs to fight this battle.

The problem is, my father has been out of a job for almost a year and my family is hurting financially. He's 62 and it seems no matter how many interviews he goes to, they always want to opt for someone younger. He works in the computer programming industry, which experiences layoffs constantly. My family is entirely unable to fund my sister's treatment because of this and we are terrified of letting Tara go much longer without what she needs. My mom works with children at a daycare center, but it's not quite enough. 

. Our hope from you

I ask, if possible, that you help spread the word of my sister's story, and even better, to donate anything you can to help her get to residential treatment. Simply reading this and acknowledging her struggle means the world to me. But it's come to a point where I know in my heart that my sister absolutely needs this to survive and I want to do everything in my power to help her get what she needs. I love her so much and I hope that you can help us in any way possible. 

Tara's hope is to attend residential treatment at Insight Behavioral Health in Chicago Illinois. We've heard wonderful things about their treatment and after having experienced many at this point, we're hoping this one can do things that others could not. 

The treatment will cost $10,000, however, our insurance will begin to cover some of it if we reach our deductible of $1,500. We're hoping to at least raise that much.

I want to express a clear communication about all of this. I strongly encourage anyone to ask me questions they may have and to learn more about Tara and her journey! But most importantly, I ask that those who can help consider doing so. I wish there was another way, but at this point I've come to realize truly how desperate our situation is. When my father is asking me to make the Gofundme, a man who never asks for help, I know things are serious. 

Every dollar counts toward this! I cannot express enough how much it means to me that you give this a look, spread the page through retweets and such and most importantly, donate if you can! 

                                                                 My sister and I

My Twitter Page for Further Communication 

Tara's Page 

The Insight Chicago Treatment Page 

To donate via Paypal, DM me on my twitter! 

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall." - Confucius