Help My Mother Win This Divorce

Hello!

 

The beautiful woman you see in this picture is my mother (and me and my cat). My mother's name is Jan. Jan is getting divorced from my father, and she could really use your help. All of us could.

She is my Momma Fish and I am her Baby Fish and I am determined to make this work.

The short version:

 

My father left without warning on March 10th and my mother, who will be 62 in September, has no income. She would be extremely grateful for any assistance.

 

 

The long version:

 

My parents have been married for 26 years. I'm the oldest of three children they had together. The marriage started off fine, but I wasn't even 4 years old before the first time my mother tried to take me and leave my father. She had help and plenty of people telling her she was doing the right thing. Unfortunately, custody made things too complicated. She came back to him. The same thing happened two more times before I turned 18 and moved out.

 

On March 10th, 2021, my father walked out and didn't come back. For the first time, all of their children are adults. For the first time, there's no disputing who could get custody.

 

He left following an argument about money. My mom has spent most of my life as a full-time stay-at-home mother. I moved out years ago, but my brothers still live at home and have relied on my parents for resources while attending college and entering the workforce, especially during the pandemic. My father, meanwhile, has been the primary source of household income for years. That income has been coming in through what he calls "God's payroll" which involves working for free and receiving gifts from those who feel compelled to do so. These are not opinions; these are the exact words and phrases he uses to describe his business model to me.

 

As you might guess, "God's payroll" does not come on a standard paycheck every two weeks. My family's living situation has changed many, many times over the years; I spent most of the 8th grade in and out of hotels that other people paid for, other people's homes or guest rooms, etc. We've gone through so many houses and cities that I was shocked when I realized that I'd lived in my first apartment for more than two years without being abruptly told to pack.

 

Even now, my parents and two brothers have been living in an apartment under and ongoing eviction hearing since sometime in 2020 and have only been scraping by under the grace of the eviction moratorium. They have more than $16,000 dollars in unpaid rent currently, which will be due once the moratorium is lifted.

 

The shocking thing? My mother, myself, and my two brothers feel like a weight has been lifted. My brothers can actually hold a conversation with each other AND with my mother now. Everyone is beginning to decompress, finally. It's been like everyone could let out a single breath they've been holding for YEARS. While I don't live with them, even I've been impacted by the fact that I can talk on the phone with my mother without her feeling like she needs to keep quiet or go to another room to speak comfortably.

 

I want to reiterate: my mother has no income whatsoever, is turning 62 this September, and is facing an eviction. She has lost many friends over the years due to disagreement over a marriage she tried to leave three times. She has very little resources, and she's open about this. And my father walking out has been the greatest relief any of us have ever felt.

 

I do not, by ANY means, expect anyone to give money if they don't have it. However, I hope this summary of our situation makes it clear that there really is a need. If you've read this far and can't donate, sharing to your friends would mean the world to us. Even just thinking positively in my mom's favor helps. This is so, so important to me. I never thought I'd see this finally happen.

 

 

To breakdown the $8,600 I'm requesting:

 

• $5,000 will be going to the divorce lawyer.

 

Why: My mother was able to make a down payment on a credit card and will begin monthly payments this month. She has no idea how she'll pay this back, but it's worth it.

 

• $3,600 will go to living expenses, if we make that much.

 

Why: I chose $3,600 as a goal because the lowest price I've seen for any places she could reasonably move to is $1,200 per month. This would at least cover a month or two of rent if we can find a place for her and my brothers to move. Our goal is for her to start collecting early social security at 62, but that won't be much because most of her income was as a tipped service worker when she was younger. She would like to find work once the divorce is over, which will be challenging, but she's determined to survive. One of my brothers is currently working and the other is in college still. I will help her in any way I can. While I believe we can figure this out somehow, having some starter money would be a huge help.

 

Again, if you've read all this, thank you so much. Anything is appreciated.