Help My Mom Be Able To See Her Husband Worry Free

This GoFundMe is for my Mom and her fighting husband-

I have a love story to tell, though It was new to me at the time. But may I get some life context out of the way first?

Past Context

I was pretty sick when I was young..

Chronic Bronchial Asthma, Pneumonia and I even stayed in a bubble for a while..

Mom lied awake to make sure I was breathing every night..

I’m sure she risked it all.

She tried to keep 2 jobs and support me while i was in and out of sickness.

My Dad was never really in the picture.

Not because he didn’t want to be. But because life happens and people move in to new places and sometimes get new phone numbers (over and over again). She loved my dad..It just never flourished. No fault of either.

They are both in my life now, a true gift tbh.

Mom tried dating for many years growing up. of course I liked none of them. Most ended badly and she was hurt, although I never said I knew. Watching her hurt with no way to help was terrifying, because I was scared too.

 My Nanny, my mom’s mom..Fell ill.

My mom stopped everything she was doing to care for her, and she only had 3 months to live. My mom had a good job, but she lost it when her mom died.

While my mom was Going through her things after 3 months of care she sprained her knee moving things to sell after being off on FMLA to care for my Nanny.

She had 3 days after bereavement, but Because she was injured trying to sell things to survive and couldn’t return after the 3 days, the job let her go.

 We lost everything and had to move, Mom even owed them money for an advance, It later went into collections and followed her through my life. Circumstances let her down, no fault of her own.

My mom persisted. I learned from that.

During my school years I was bullied to the point of planning to commit suicide. My mom was there for me, she even slept outside my door just to make sure i was alive.

She had to Walk on Eggshells around me, unsure of what to say sometimes to help.

I know that now.

She took my knives of Self-Harm from me and still waited by my bedroom door. Hoping I would just talk.

As time went on she fought to get me help so that i may became mentally strong again.

My mom helped me with suicide programs and also put my creativity onto some onto sweatshirts and hats to sell and raise awareness to Mental Health.

I’m doing good today thankfully, because of my moms strong will and determination to get through anything and everything. 

During my junior year of High School someone took advantage of her, left her on the mountain after being Sexually Assaulted. She didn’t per-sue, Because she didn’t want me to endure anymore pain in my fragile state.

Time For The Love Story

About 10 years ago, as a DD driver in a bar, Michael walked through the door..She told me she was floored!! (Although concerned he couldn’t keep up) she fell in Love instantly.

She thought of him daily for a year.

I remember mom telling me as a DD driver that night she was reluctant to let him go when she dropped him off, something about him made her physically sorrowful to leave.

 She left, and 8 months later she got a message. A friend request. Course mom acted like in her reply like..”Do I know you?” All the while going crazy because she knew exactly who he was and even called me with excitement!! So the story begins, from what I know, he replied..(We have mutual friends.) Mom acted like she was shocked, but there was something about her that placed an obvious smile I had never seen..Happy Giddy likeness that was pleasant to see.

I don’t know Love well but; I wrote and read my gratitude during their wedding.

 My mom exuded happiness like I had never seen..Inside I felt safe..Finally, for us all. They have been together ever since.

9 years now.

 We came to find out later Michael had Epilepsy and he was a candidate for a brain implant that within 7-10 years could become seizure free. That was the hope.

 After 3 E.E.G’s, an INTER CRANIAL E.E.G. and brain implant of the RNS NEUROPACE STIMULATOR was surgically placed in his head.

we understood that every 2 months we go up for a brain implant adjustment to try and render him seizure free. His brain implant after numerous testing ( my mom by his side every minute) I noticed his pain after surgery. I was just 18, I got my first job after graduation and entered into my first year of College. Something was wrong with Michael. 

He was hurting horrifically. 

I decided to step down from college and my first job and be there for a step dad that didn’t have to be one.

 It began our Journey of caring for Michael to save his life, my mom was relentless in Love through it. I cared for him for a year while mom worked for all of us. He was in so much pain after the implant.

I had to get a full time job to help after a year, but mom lost days of work without pay trying to take care of him after the effects of some seizures, but sometimes couldn’t because of no coverage.

You wouldn’t believe the support of neighbors and friends that came over to help.

It was heartwarming.

It helped mom keep working.

There was a friend that came by daily on his four wheeler and their yappy dog riding along came too. Mom has written about all them through the years. She is so grateful.

 The pain continued for 5 years, Mom lost work with appts, asking for help, blankets on the windows because he was sensitive to sun light, demanding the surgeon know, asking for help for 5 years.

No medication was helping, they even sent him to pain management for nerve blocks that wasn’t suppose to happen. Nothing ever helped his pain. We tried it all. I can go into detail about his horrific pain for 5 years, but mom wouldn’t want me too.

You see she had “Mamma,” Karen Woods. A loving woman that knew Michael from childhood and excepted their relationship from the beginning. We call her “Mamma,” When mom couldn’t take the day off because there was no coverage, Mamma helped. For 6 full years!! Realizing Michael needed more than us, hoping the deterioration of his state could improve with a K-9 companion and hoping to get him off the couch, Fred and Laurel stepped in with a pup. You see, a fully trained Service dog could range from $15,000 to $300,000.00 for training. They gave “Michael’s Angel” Czech working line Pure Bred Black Short hair, (Not Long hair) German Shepard as a gift for Michael. My Mom decided to get a local trainer and train her for his needs by Caninemindllc.com with Tasman Flora.

What an inspiration that was. She even reduced the fee to help us. We tried for a year the best we could. However unfinished due to recent events but powerful for Angel none the same. We had to re-home Michael’s Angel 2 times because of the meds they kept changing for Michael regarding his pain for 5 years left him angry and it wasn’t fair for Angel to keep her. It killed my mom inside. We later got her back, but she searches for her human, Michael.

I think after everything now, Michael’s Angel is helping my Mom now. 3 months ago after 9  months of emergency visits, pleading for the surgeon to listen for over 5 years of pain. The surgeons decided to take his implant of 5 years out.. He had an uncanny spiritual positivity about him before the surgery mom said.. He called 6 of his closest confidantes.. Positive to Covid for the first time..Mom couldn’t take him to the ER as she always had..A friend took him, dropped him off, and in 9 years they couldn’t be together for the first time.. Due to Covid, unable to stay over in any facility after. After the brain implant removal my mom said  she got a call..The last of many..

“He’s bleeding Cis, something happened, we have to go in and remove the bleeding on his brain, I’ve never seen anything like it.” 4 hours later it happened again.

Michael is in ICU@OHSU. in a coma.

2:00 am once stable it happened again, but after 9 years of being together mom said nobody called as she was always primary contact. She was sick inside and called, not being there for the first time because of Covid..

She asked whats going on… The nurse stated, There is no DNR, POLST, POA in place, all updates will go to next of kin.

Each time Mom calls, they ask what her relationship to the patient is. I think if she hears that one more time she might leave me..After asking 14 lawyers for help, she has no help. Not only is Michael in a coma, the updates come from next of kin whom haven’t been here with us. No fault of their own, Mom is grateful to his dad and brother for including her. Mom blames herself for not having her affairs in order.

 My mom Isn’t my mom..Not only is she numb but she regardless of circumstance has driven 3 hrs away both ways to be with her Michael for day’s getting a hotel, fuel and trying to be with him for 3 months off and on while trying to work too. Her new work has been a blessing to her, her new co-workers have supported her through it all and still do.

He was placed in a longterm facility 3 hrs away now and remains in a coma. She is not allowed to stay with him, he has a roommate. Her Michael is in Coma, 4 brain surgery’s and he has a Trach and feeding tube in his tummy. They have never been apart.

She try’s to keep working, but Mom doesn’t have anymore money. She can’t stay over night so she’s been having to travel, purchase Hotel rooms and board his Service dog in training for the last 3 months. 3 hrs to and from, so she doesn’t have a lot of Time to hold his hands and lotion his feet.

 Mom is trying to cope, but she can’t be with her Michael now, Mom doesn’t have anything left.

 Her Truck is up for sale, she has sold her furniture, went from 3 incomes to 1 and I feel I’m losing my Mom… 

You can read for updates and the pinned post on FaceBook is where she updates for Michael.

Can you help me give them some “Time?” Anything helps.. 

To the Love story that will never end..Please Share for them. Thank you for listening to help my Mom and her Mikey. :)