Help my mental health, please

Hello, For those of you that don’t know me I’m Sarah. I’m struggling with mental health and actually working through my trauma is difficult. I have put in the time and work to get better but I’m stuck after the trauma of 2020.

In 2020 my mother was killed by my only sibling. He kept up a charade for several months saying that she ran off with a man when the whole time I knew he did something but everyone around me made me feel like I was crazy to think he did something. The mental turmoil this has caused me has been unbearable. I haven’t allowed myself to process my grief because for the past 3 years I have been dealing with taking care of everything. Having to financially support myself going across the country multiple times in order to take care of my mother’s things, have a memorial after covid and then finally to read my victims impact statement in front of said sibling (after 3 years of waiting for that day).

Because of the enormity of the situation I never allowed myself to process the grief in losing a loved one in such an unexpected way. I am alone in my grief because there is such a small amount of people in the world that lose a mother at the hand of a sibling. I have found this treatment in California that has been proven to help people of trauma, and PTSD. I am begging for help - If you could give even just a little bit I would greatly appreciate it.

I don’t want to keep living this way, being unhappy all the time. I don’t want to live with regrets of not trying to heal myself.

Thank you!

P.S. The picture is of me and my mom at a happier time - I want to be able to feel that joy again and remember her in that way.

P.S.S. I'm just raising funds for the treatment - not the cost of the flight or hotel. Anything over the amount asked will go towards those things. Thank you again!