Thanks to the massive March storm, my house took a beating and now looks like it’s been in a bar fight it definitely didn’t win.

Since then, it has developed some very expensive dreams:

Olive green siding

A red metal roof

️ New gutters

10 new windows

I suggested homeowners insurance.

My house laughed.

The insurance company apparently reviewed the damage and determined that if I squint hard enough, everything is fine.

So if you’ve ever wanted to support a worthy cause, consider helping my house complete its transformation into the olive-green, red-roofed redheaded stepchild it has always wanted to be.

Because if the internet can fund stranger things, surely we can help a storm-damaged house find its true self.