Help My Dad Find Peace and Comfort

My dad is a class act. He's taught me how to fight, how to live, how to laugh, and most importantly, how to love. Today though, there's no laughter. I'm putting this out with a heavy heart. My dad suffered a series of mini strokes in 2024 and just last week suffered a major stroke. He's been hospitalized with a near-zero likelihood of him ever returning home. He will need assisted memory care for the remaining months of his life. I say months because when doctors were doing scans of his brain, they also found cancerous lesions near his brain stem and spinal cord. As of two weeks ago, he's been given approximately 3 months to live. Now, that time is even less. He's always been a huge part of my life, and it's incredibly tough to see him going through so much right now. I just want to make sure he's comfortable and well-cared for in his final months.

My dad's been dealing with the effects of multiple traumatic brain injuries throughout his entire life. When he was 16 years old, he was hit by a car while riding a bicycle, and spent 3 weeks in an induced coma while recovering. Following that TBI, he had another one in 1985, when he fell off the back of a rickshaw in India. When I was 8 years old, he had a 3rd, due to a work-related accident. That accident left him with enough brain damage that he qualified for Social Security Disability. He was taking care of himself and was seeing a Neurologist and a Psychotherapist. But all that changed after he suffered the mini-strokes. He began to become more easily flustered and confused, and had trouble "connecting the dots" with things that were happening around him. When he started telling me about wanting to come live with me in Palm Springs (he's in LA), I took him seriously and understood that his health was starting to decline. What I didn't expect is how quickly the decline happened. 6 months ago, my dad was kicking ass and taking names, going to the beach once a week and staying engaged with his community. In May, though, things took a really bad turn. I found out he had been making some erratic decisions, and had started to miss his health appointments. Concerned, I reached out to him more regularly to understand his state of mind better. He reassured me everything was fine and that he had only missed a couple of appointments, and then told me he had a PET scan coming up. The morning of the PET scan, he suffered the stroke, fell off his shower bench, and was out cold in the shower for about an hour and a half to 2 before I called PD to do a wellness check. They found him having suffered a stroke, and took him to the hospital. At the hospital, they did CT and MRI imaging, and found a lesion so close to his brain stem, the hospital neurologist declined to operate. After that, I spoke to his care team, and we decided to move him into assisted living.

More than anything, we just want him to be out of pain and getting the best care possible, in an area where I can more easily come to visit. I commute from Palm Springs to Los Angeles currently.

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### Where Your Help Comes In

We found an amazing place called Westfield Villa Gardens in Banning, California. It's a hospice boarding care facility that can give him the constant, attentive care he needs – focusing on his comfort and dignity. They also do a lot of work with memory care. This is extremely important to me, as he is the only parent I have left, he greatly values his agency and dignity, and I greatly value spending time with him.

The thing is, this specialized care is expensive. We are trying to raise enough to cover about three months of care, as well as a backup reserve in case extra expenses come up (including funeral/cremation), so he can stay there without interruption. Our goal is to hit $12,000, which works out to about $4,000 a month. The daily cost of this facility comes out to about $108 dollars per day. My dad needs this level of care so he can remember me in figments of his thoughts, so he is not neglected (he needs to be spoon fed and his IV's checked every 2 hours for fluids, as well as his ability to use the bathroom), and so he can be at ease when the Creator calls him to come home. Cremation services will cost about $1000 when he does pass on.

Every little bit helps to make sure he's not in pain and can live the rest of his life at ease. Plus, I can get him some wireless headphones so he can listen to his favorite music at all hours of the day and night without waiting for me to show up. He does a lot better and is much more "active" in the brain when I'm playing Led Zeppelin.

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### How You Can Make a Difference

Your donation, big or small, will go straight to his care, covering things like:

* **24/7 attentive nursing**

* **Pain management**

* **Specialized support for his comfort**

If you can't donate, simply sharing this campaign would be a huge help. My family and I are so grateful for any kindness and support you can offer during this incredibly challenging time. Since my dad's Disability insurance only covers his care in specific areas of LA County, I'm asking for yall's help in bringing him closer to me, just for the last few months of his life.

Thank you so much,

Swaim Guetling, son of Timothy Guetling.