Hi! First, I’d like to thank you for just being here.

On Saturday, September 6th, my mom celebrated her 52nd birthday. We enjoyed amazing food, laughed, talked, and made fresh plans for a hopeful future. We left the restaurant, arrived home, and went to bed as usual. Everything was normal.

The next morning, I could not wake her up. I tried everything I could, trust me. I cried. I yelled. I tried to shake her. Nothing was working. She’d try to respond to me but it was almost like it wasn’t her. It didn’t even sound like her voice.. As I screamed, “Mommy, I need you to wake up now,” she’d respond with, “you need to do something.” When I asked, “What do I do,” she just said, “Wake me up!”. As you can imagine, I panicked– I spiraled. I called family, friends — anyone I could think of .. I couldn’t even understand what was happening, let alone process any next steps.

We were able to get her up and into the car to drive to the emergency room. She was asleep this entire time.

Her oxygen saturation level was 71%. She was extremely hypoxic. She had so much fluid around her lungs and heart, all the doctors and nurses could focus on was respiratory failure..

How, when I just watched her blow out a candle the night before?

The next couple days were a blur. She was no longer her bright, outgoing, lively self. She was intubated and sedated; her ventilator settings maxed out the machine. I was just there… waiting. Praying she would have the will to fight and to wake up. I just wanted to hear her voice. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to process all of the sympathy and vulnerability. It had always been me and my mom. Everything was for her..

I needed a healthy outlet so I chose to create. With all the stress happening outside of my mind, the thought of deciding on colors or styles or anything, honestly, felt impossible and insignificant. So I thought, hey, why not let people decide for me? I just want the experience of enjoying "calm". I definitely did not expect the attention I received, but I am so grateful. Truly, thank you so much. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. Thank you for your ideas. Most of all thank you for keeping my mom in your thoughts and prayers. I will forever be indebted to you. I’m not the best at being vulnerable so just thank you for being kind and receptive.

She was finally able to have the tube removed after 11 days! If she had taken maybe 48 hours more, she’d have needed a tracheotomy and feeding tube for the rest of her life. So, AGAIN, THANK YOU. The reality is she has a long road of recovery ahead. So this is just to help cover some of the cost involved (as well as some of my yarn related coping mechanisms, lol).

I know times are hard, but thank you for just reading. If you’re unable to donate, I understand. Kindly, just share this for me? We’d really appreciate it.

My mom is the most selfless person I know, often to her own detriment. Please take care of your mind and body… you only get one.

Love you!